December 31, 2018 at 2:52 am #30799
Hi Cristina, so sorry to hear that.
Sadly, there are lot of fakers out thee, who have nothing better to do with their time by the looks of it.
I come across many guys on meetup.com who are in asexual groups, but not actually asexual. Some have bad intentions and looking for sex, whilst others just want to be added to as many groups as possible as they like knowing and meeting different people – on the lookout for a relationship still I expect. Many either don’t know what asexuality is, or choose to ignore it and continue to be in the group. I have made one good asexual friend on there who is biromantic.
I went on POF briefly this years and spent 4 hours trying to find an asexual guy amongst the sexuals on there, before my account was shut down by ‘accident’ because I said I did not want sex, in my profile, and it was triggers words. But other asexuals profile remained up! However, some guys on there were fed up with time wasters too. They said so in their profiles – whilst others just wanted casual sex from their profile description. It is mostly sexuals on that site, but I thought it may be worth a shot as I know some other asexuals on there too.
I won’t give up – but there are certain questions you can use to find out if they are likely asexual or not!
SandraJanuary 1, 2019 at 4:30 pm #30806
I would love to – I have the capacity to love deeply – but I’ve convinced myself it will never happen. I’ve only ever met one other asexual in my entire life so I guess the odds are stacked against me. As a result I’ve become fiercely independent but in my soul there is still a tiny flicker of hope!January 2, 2019 at 8:44 am #30812
There is always hope. Our opportunities for an asexual relationship is far and few between. Therefore, we must work a little harder to establish this type of relationship. We have to believe and do the work it takes to find an asexual partner. Don’t give up. We are different and not of this sexual world. We are scattered throughout the world. It’s evident that I must go to them or they come to me. It’s not as easy as establishing a heterosexual relationship. Our approach must be new, fresh and creative.January 2, 2019 at 8:52 am #30813
Remember sex sells. We are in a non-profit chasm. Therefore, our endeavors must be in self-supporting activities in order to build prosperous asexual relationships. And we must do it on our own dime.January 17, 2019 at 12:48 am #30839
I am! I’d like to find an asexual/ace man that I am compatible with to share life with. From my limited experience, it seems like the ace community is largely women, so I’m hoping I can find a hetero-romantic partner here 🙂March 24, 2019 at 11:06 pm #30939
This is exactly what I’m looking for. I got married long before I realized I was asexual. Over the years, I would often think to myself, “I think I must be asexual,” but I didn’t know that that was an actual “thing” until some years ago. My life made so much more sense when I finally figured that out! LOL I would also often fantasize about having a life-long companion who didn’t want or need sex. In my mind, that was ideal. Now that I’m divorced, I’m hoping that I will one day find that person, although I’m not sure how likely that is, especially at my age (53). To be honest, I’d much rather be alone for the rest of my life than be in another relationship where sex was considered important. I refuse to feel like being in a relationship is an absolute necessity for me. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, then I’ll embrace my life as it is and focus on other things.March 28, 2019 at 3:42 pm #30942
I totally agree that we have to work much harder to find an asexual partner and to establish and maintain a relationship. It’s so true that either you or the other person must want to move, or it won’t work. And the relationship must be constantly worked on to grow together and maintained.
Asexuals love through an emotional connection, so emotional needs I think are even higher in an asexual relationship than the heteronormative ones. When sexuals get upset wth each other, it often ends in sex and make up. Sex keeps them talking and after one another, it gives them a strong reason they have to meet with each other. In the case of asexuals, without sex being involved, this need to be seek someone out for a relationship, pursue them, work hard on getting a possible relationship and to maintain it, is far less in my observation. Asexuals seem less bothered about being with someone, as sex is not involved and therefore many conversations tail off on this asexual dating site and others.
That is why I started this thread as although many people say they want a relationship, I don’t see many actually taking the action to get a real one offline. This saddens me. It should not be the case. But proves that sex is a main driving force in being in a human relationship – aside from the friendship type of relationship. I know I love my single life, but I also feel I intuitively have a younger asexual foreign soulmate, who I believe is Indian, in the least foreign. I make the first move a lot, but I don’t want me to be doing all the work to get and maintain a relationship though, it has to be an equal dual effort. I had one-sided friendships in the past, with people who did not value my worth and I know I am damn well worth my value. I don’t want to go down that road ever again.
I am a non-mover, because I am so super happy where I live, so trying to find someone who will move to live near me but not with me, is super tough. Especially as I like younger foreign guys and live in the UK.
I have been on here since 2014 looking for my younger foreign asexual soulmate and still not found him yet. I won’t give up though. I will do whatever it takes to be with the right guy for me. I am busy working on mown life, my career and finances particular this year, and hopefully once that is sorted and on track, mr asexual right will show up for me. I think I had some near misses and red herrings, so I must be getting closer to finding him. Thankfully I have wonderful asexual guy friends to chat to and spend time with in the meantime, and they will always be in my life now, as they are awesome.
SandraMarch 28, 2019 at 3:47 pm #30943
Lovely to see you here and have you back in my Facebook group xx
It’s good you are focusing on other things.
I don’t want sex in a relationship wither, I am done this that. Too much like hard work when you don’t like it and personally sex repulsed these days for me – fine and happy for others to go at it like bunnies. I still like passionate kissing though with my clothes on, so that is tough, and why I still crave a romantic relationship. I think you can be passionate without having sex itself, if you want to be and like that. I find less asexuals are like me in this way, so that makes it harder to find someone suitable for me.
SandraApril 14, 2019 at 11:03 am #30955
Hi, I’ll bring this thread back from the dead I guess. If any random readers interested enough in women see this, please check out my profile. I’m looking to find someone of any gender with a similar goal of raising non-billogical children with me and having a serious committed relationship with no sex. I’m on the aromantic spectrum so being “attracted” to me, and me to you, isn’t the priority. The priority is wanting to choose to try to form a friendship where we might end up with a lot of commitment and practical logistics that mean we’re certainly “together”.April 15, 2019 at 2:13 am #30956
I am.April 15, 2019 at 2:15 am #30957
(Although I’m not looking to be a parent …..)April 15, 2019 at 7:04 am #30958
J Fernando EstradaParticipant
I am,and I’m hoping to find something like that.April 15, 2019 at 7:04 am #30959
J Fernando EstradaParticipant
I am,and I’m hoping to find something like that..April 17, 2019 at 1:41 am #30960
I am interested. I live in the North of England, so anyone between 25 – 50 who also lives here can hit me up. 🙂April 22, 2019 at 5:25 pm #30965
I am looking for an asexual relationship. I’m going to be thirty in May. I live in Millburn, New JerseyApril 22, 2019 at 5:30 pm #30966
I am looking for an asexual relationship. I’m going to be thirty in May. I live in Millburn, New JerseyApril 24, 2019 at 6:58 am #30970
Just to let you know, I finally found a guy who can be with me without sex and now in a happy, sex free relationship. We have tons in common, feel like we have known each other for years, and get along like a house on fire. He is a cute, young, British guy 23, 24 next month,which is the age I wanted, ( he is also the same star sign as me), and almost the same height too. I met him at my friend’s 50th Birthday party – I am significantly younger than my friend, but older in birth certificate age than my partner. I am an asexual cougar, not sexual cougar. Mindset/lifestyle, we are pretty similar/the same. He lives locally to me and we love to spend hours on video chat and seeing each other.June 12, 2019 at 2:40 am #31104
I thought I replied to this thread again, but it must not have posted. I am single again thankfully, but at least I learnt it is possible I could be with a younger British guy in a relationship, rather than just a foreign guy, which I didn’t think I could.
June 12, 2019 at 9:27 pm #31109
- This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by Sandra.
I am, I’d say I don’t hold out much hope, but I do really, I’ve no desire to spend my years alone, but thank fuck I’m foreign and safely out of Sandra’s not at all racist grasp, it’s not easy to be asexual and still want to be in a relationship with someone, I’ve tried and failed to explain that to people, you get the rote lines, “sure you just need friends” “what’s the difference?” I don’t, I’m a hopeless romantic, and I’ve no plans on changing just because the world isn’t quite used to asexuals yet.June 12, 2019 at 11:38 pm #31113
Thanks for sharing.
I have no shame in being attracted to younger foreign guys, we all have our aesthetic preferences. I still believe I have an Indian soulmate, despite the fact my last boyfriend was British. Overall I am still more attracted to foreign guys and probably always will be (Indian, Bangladesh, Middles Eastern in Particular) – had younger foreign boyfriends in the past, but they were heterosexual so no good for me.
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