WHO HERE IS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS AND COMMITTED NO SEX RELATIONSHIP?

[Sandra]

Yeah, Kristen, working a lot of hours can make it harder to get and sustain a relationship. I think we are most likely going to find an another online for a relationship in the first instance. I keep having strong romantic feelings for asexual guys abroad, which is really heart-breaking. Especially if they have feelings for me too, but I don’t want to move from the UK and they cannot get into this country rot live here.

[Sandra]

Hi Wendy, so sorry you had that traumatic experience. Was is Asexual Cupid that happened on? Or ACE App? Or another site?

[Tamara]

Definitely me. I just hope I am lucky enough to get that.

[Mara Copland]

I’ve officially given up. No matches on POF, Bumble, or FB dating. The two girls I did talk to recently ghosted me as soon as they found out I was ace. One even blocked me.

I keep thinking I should lie about being ace and just… deal with the sex. It has to be better than being alone.

[Rebecca Heath]

Absolutely me. I’m serious about finding a romantic, committed, emotionally intimate, asexual – pansexual relationship, but I’m not sure I’ll ever find it, especially in rural Tasmania (Australia)……sigh. I would love to have a companion to share my life and beautiful surroundings with.

[Mara Copland]

Oh god, if only you were in Canada. I love the Tasmania accent.

If it helps, I’m in one of the biggest cities in Canada and nada.

[Rebecca Heath]

You might be disappointed….I have a hybrid NZ / Australian accent. Born in NZ 😀

[Terrance]

Being a gay ace is extremely difficult as well. I often wonder if there is anyone out there that I can relate to or connect with.

[Sandra]

I am sorry to hear that Mara, I had a lot of matches when I was on Facebook Dating but unfortunately they needed sex. I still have a few off them as friends on Facebook.

I don’t think a life of sex is worth it. Personally I would rather stay single. But I know how had it is, especially when you like and need physical affection – which I personally do, without the sex.

Sadly I was online dating one asexual guy who I was friends with first and he turned out not to be good for me, so I blocked him and then he proceeded to bug my friends and write a nasty message to one of them, who is also ACE, and create multiple fake accounts to stalk me. I am still dealing with the fall out of this situation. On the 11th his mum even contacted me to talk to him and get back with him but I can’t.

[Sandra]

Hi Terrance,

I hope you do find someone for you. There are a lot of homoromantic guys on here it would seem. But I know what you mean about trying to find someone you can relate to or have a connection with. It’s harder to get this.

[Tina]

I’m ace-panromantic as well. One would think that, even being ace, the pan bit would make it a bit easier to find someone since I’m not at all fussed about gender identity. Nope, it’s not. I can’t pretend I’m not ace though. I pretended for over 30 years and I can’t do that anymore. I think that I could compromise should it come to that but I will no longer pretend to be sexual when I’m just not.

By the way, Rebecca, this may sound incredibly superficial but I find the fact that you are Aussie/Kiwi so incredibly attractive I’m ready to get on a plane right now. :). I’ve been in love with NZ since I was a wee child and had a Kiwi penpal who would send me photos of her home town.

Remember when penpals wrote letters and sent them through the mail? It was really lovely, I thought, but I try to talk about it to people these days and they look at me like I’m stupid. After all, isn’t that what email is for? {sigh}

[Tamara]

I agree Tina. I am not going to have sex and pretend to like it just to have a relationship. It wouldn’t last long anyway. Like you, I spent over 30 years pretending to like sex and have had many failed relationships because I would find excuses to not have sex that eventually led to problems and a breakup of the relationship. I have a lot of love and affection to give, but when I came out to my Father last year, he told me no man would accept a relationship with no sex and that it was unnatural to want a loving non-sexual relationship. I am hoping that by joint this site that I will at least make some new friends even if I don’t find a partner.

[Tina]

Tamara, the fact that there even are sites like this one proves that your father was wrong. There is nothing wrong with us and I truly believe that there are more of us than we think. Aces tend to be more hesitant to come out but the more of us that stand proud, the more will speak up. Besides, I’m sure we’ve all seen that sex doesn’t last. Affection, friendship, companionship. Those are truly important. And I do hope to find it here as well.

[Rebecca Heath]

Hi Tina – yes NZ is a very beautiful place, and not just aesthetically. I’m currently in Tassie, but I’d love to move back to NZ one day.
And yes – I’m asexual- panromantic. But I’m not holding my breath for any ‘matches’ here in Tassie. Whilst not a social person generally, I love close friendship and companionship and living in an isolated rural area suits me, but I would love to have someone special in my life to share it all with…….sigh!

[Tina]

Rebecca, I don’t think it’s just rural areas where it’s so hard. I’m from New York and have lived in Philadelphia for longer than I care to think about. I’m not a city girl by nature. It’s just circumstances. But, even with a local queer social organization nearby, finding other like-minded individuals has been ridiculous. Friendship and companionship are just that difficult to locate now matter where you live.

My heart’s dream is to live somewhere where I can have land enough to raise many animals and grow my own food. Human and animal companionship and the ability to live with the smallest carbon footprint I can – now that sounds like heaven to me.

[Rebecca Heath]

Hey Tina

I’m sorry you’ve struggled so hard to find companionship.
You’d love my property – it’s sixty acres, predominantly dedicated to wildlife, although I’m starting (slowly from scratch) to get some permaculture systems started. I do have chooks, but I have them for their compost making ‘superpowers’, rather than their eggs, because I’m vegan.
It’s a truly beautiful spot here, with magic views, and quite isolated.
I am a wildlife carer, and my local wildlife population know that I’m pretty chill, so they’re up around my cabin a lot.
Anyway I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Have an awesome day

[Michael]

Well said Tina! “… I’m sure we’ve all seen that sex doesn’t last. Affection, friendship, companionship. Those are truly important.”
I couldn’t agree with your comment more.

[Terrance]

Thanks, Sandra. Finding a connection is hard for sure.

[Sandra]

I’m sorry to here Tina, that you still have as many problems being Pan, like you said, with not being fussed about gender identity, you would think you would have more options and success, so sorry you don’t.

[Sandra]

So how is asexual dating going in 2022?

[Author]

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