WHO HERE IS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS AND COMMITTED NO SEX RELATIONSHIP?

[Hannah]

High

[Wren]

Dated before, never really clicked with anyone long term except for my first relationship, which I was dumped for being ace. 🙁 I’d love a long term relationship where I don’t have to worry about sex, because I feel like it’s my biggest obstacle.

[Sandra]

Hi Katya,

Oh I don’t care what people think about me not wanting kids ever, I have been like that since 15 years of age and never changed my mind, it is a shame you feel you have to wear a wedding/engagement ring.

I love that Santa exists, yes. Whenever there is magic and Christmas in our hearts, it is always alive x

[Anonymous]

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR! I have tried dating for years and got married and told him up front I do not like sex and he said it was fine then divorced me anyways. Every relationship gets to that point where you are expected to have sex and it just makes me really uncomfortable and I end up pulling away in the relationship and can’t really connect with anyone in fear of needing to take that step. It’s really a terrifying thing to go out and try to date anyone and really hard to find someone that understands. It’s even harder now that I have a son who is not even a year old.
I just want a relationship that has no physical intimacy. Kissing even makes me uncomfortable. I have decided to never date again because it always ends up the same. I am always left because of this issue and I want to be with someone like me who won’t pressure me into the physical aspects of a relationship and that I don’t constantly have to worry about how I am depriving them of something that they need in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Never really dated anyone. Didn’t click with a lot of people but when I did I only wanted a romantic relationship that didn’t involve sex. I used to think I was just immature because I always wanted a committed relationship but was never ready for anything intimate, sometimes not even kissing. Everything was great when I had just a deep emotional connection with another person, holding hands and hugging but the second they wanted more I basically ran away. Now that I understand it better I hope I can find someone that wants the type of relationship I want.

[Sandra]

Hi Teresa

I really understand where you are coming from. Although I do love kissing, but I hate the expectation that without an asexual being with me, the other person will want sex at some point and the idea makes me feel so nervous and in pain all the time when I think about trying to date sexuals again. It would be bliss to kiss an asexual guy knowing it will never lead to sex ever, and I can just relax and be myself always in that way. I really hope I find my guy one day and I hope you find your life partner too.

Sandra

[Marc]

I find that the pressure to have sex and being rejected for not complying is just as tough as “actually” finding someone who doesn’t care about sex.

[Masi Capone]

I know exactly what you mean. Everything seems so much more enjoyable without the expectation of sex. I think that’s why the few relationships I’ve had don’t work out, cause they realize I’m just not that into it, but I still love cuddles and everything else that comes with romance, like a nice walk somewhere nice, watching a show together, just talking about whatever.

[K_42]

Back in April I met a man on this site. He left the below message in this forum. I wanted to give an update on what happened in hopes of clearing up any false hope he may have given.
“April 3, 2018 at 2:58 am#29764 REPLY
Naes
Participant
I don’t usually participate in these conversations, but wanted to chime in in hopes I would give others some hope too. After just one day of paying for this site, I found the love of my life here…”
After talking every day for months, professing our love to one another & me moving states away to be with him, he decided to fill me in on who he really is, an unemployed liar who takes money from women to support his kids instead of working to support them. Our relationship was built on 100% lies & I now have to relocate back & rebuild my life.
His profile on here is Naes & he lives in Houston TX with the real name Sean M. I warn any women on here, if contacted by him & he reveals his name as that, he is not an honest person. Please message me with his full name if you need confirmation of his full identity. I am not looking for retaliation so no full name will ever be posted on here. I just don’t want any more women being scammed.

[Anonymous]

Oh wow sorry that happened to you, Tink20! That sounds awful. It is sad people use others like that.
I would like a serious relationship one day. I am not concerned with age expect younger than me… Well now I am focusing on school and self-improvement. 🙂 I don’t think I could ever see myself dating someone interested in a sexual relationship. It is just my reality now and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Sandra is the Facebook group still running? I sent a request over a week ago and it is still waiting for a response. Thank you!

Edit:
Just checked and I was accepted! Thank you!

[K_42]

I’m really looking for a serious relationship. Well at least I was. I met a man on this site, moved states away to be with him, only to be told he had been lying to me since day 1 about employment & taking money from women. Now I’m even more particular than I was before! Now I’m not willing to relocate or date someone who has kids full time. So I’m sure I’ll be single forever now. I thought I had found the perfect Ace on this site, but not even then could we make it work. Oh well.

[Veee]

@ Tink20…that’s very unfortunate!! Local aces are just so hard to find…where are they all hiding?

I wonder if there’s any success stories around :).

[Viv]

I can add my sympathies and understanding too.
I chatted online with a lady, and her daughter, and her mum, for more than 4 yrs – flew halfway around the world to meet them all, only to discover they just want my money.
Sad, very sad …. none of them knew the meaning of love …..

[K_42]

Viv that is horrible!! Classic catfish. We can all learn from our own experiences & others experiences, so although embarrassing, I still share my story to anyone it might benefit. Hope you didn’t take too much of a hit financially.

[Sandra]

Sorry that happened to both of you. Really good of you to share that and help others.

[Sandra]

Hi Teresa

You are welcome.
Glad you are in.

Xx

[Cristina]

Been catfished before too! Twice actually. I don’t get it! Now I have a 12 step process for me to believe someone I meet online is real. It’s not actually 12 steps, just saying haha

Would love to meet a sporty woman, who just happens to be Jewish (I’m not Jewish I just love them apparently since I’ve only really dated Jews, by coincidence, it’s not a fetish…I don’t think?)

Location doesn’t matter to me either

[Nitrogen]

I feel awful for everyone catfished in this thread. It’s hard enough for us to find someone compatible with us, so it makes it exceedingly more difficult having had a experience to cause you to be even more wary and untrusting! I’m not looking to relocate either and I’m not looking for someone who already has kids, so my dating pool (single men without kids in my area who want a romantic relationship and at least wouldn’t be terribly opposed to not having sex) is infinitesimally small and that makes me never want to go outside again. So yeah. Good luck everyone? I’m sorry for being so pessimistic.

[Sandra]

Hi Cristina, so sorry to hear that.

Sadly, there are lot of fakers out thee, who have nothing better to do with their time by the looks of it.

I come across many guys on meetup.com who are in asexual groups, but not actually asexual. Some have bad intentions and looking for sex, whilst others just want to be added to as many groups as possible as they like knowing and meeting different people – on the lookout for a relationship still I expect. Many either don’t know what asexuality is, or choose to ignore it and continue to be in the group. I have made one good asexual friend on there who is biromantic.

I went on POF briefly this years and spent 4 hours trying to find an asexual guy amongst the sexuals on there, before my account was shut down by ‘accident’ because I said I did not want sex, in my profile, and it was triggers words. But other asexuals profile remained up! However, some guys on there were fed up with time wasters too. They said so in their profiles – whilst others just wanted casual sex from their profile description. It is mostly sexuals on that site, but I thought it may be worth a shot as I know some other asexuals on there too.

I won’t give up – but there are certain questions you can use to find out if they are likely asexual or not!

Sandra

[Author]

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