WHO HERE IS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS AND COMMITTED NO SEX RELATIONSHIP?

[danny]

Hi Sandra

Your sertainly well organised.I have sent
very friendly messages
to local Ace women but
have no reply,not even
to say hi? although there was a bit of an age gap of 20 years so maybe thats why?not sure but even just looking for a local ace mate for an occasional coffee is a bit difficult.

Im generally pretty happy with life also,and have a full life.perhaps I should look more into local groups when I get new year issues out of the way?its a thought anyway.

[Sandra]

Hi Danny

I prefer much younger guys – but I am an asexual cougar – Ironically, it is very easy for me to get a sexual guy in his 20s, an asexual guy is a bit more to hard to get – because sometimes they worry about the age gap – and I don’t want sex with them!! So a sexual guy does not mind having sex with a girl who is older than them but an asexual guy worries about incompatibles on a romantic front.

I have to admit though, I get more uncomfortable around older guys – even to hang out with – because I would rather hang out with guys who I feel comfortable to be around in case we did like each other more than friends and also just to be nearer younger guys physically is far better for me.

I am okay at meet-ups because it is not just me and them.

Sandra

[Anna C]

To me as an asexual I veiw my friendships, and my relationships (when I had them) as equal and to be frank, indistinguishable. I’ve always found it fairly subjective as to what qualifies as an “actual romantic relationship” and for most of them it was for all intents and purposes a friendship with extra rules and expectations thrown on top of it. Many of which made no sense as they are basically just human mating rituals and me being asexual took that element out of the picture. So to me, I don’t see it as a bad thing that most asexuals on this site are looking for friendships. Personally to me that makes the most sense. Even if your goal was to get married, marriage is a partnership, based on friendship. It’s not uncommon to hear people “married their best friend”. So considering asexuals on this site who’s goals are friendship and building friendship relationships as not being serious and wasting time seems counterintuitive to me.

I don’t want to sound rude but the original post totally came off as insulting to me. Like a ton of people on this site are wasting your time, when really it seems like you’re refusing meaningful relationships you could be having because they don’t fit your personal standards.

[Anonymous]

I would think a large proportion of people are open to such a relationship. However, easier said than done as an asexual.

Since there are so few of us relative to the entire population, chances are slim that we might actually meet, connect, and get together with another Ace.

I live in a tiny, conservative corner of Europe and I would sooner be struck by lightning (twice) than meet an Ace here.

I do plan on moving back to Florida in April 2017 so the chance of an Ace connection should go up appreciably.

[Sandra]

Hi Anna

Thanks for sharing your personal asexual perspective.

As a monogamous heteroromantic hyper-romatic person (who doesn’t want to get married – you can be committed to a relationship without marriage), I draw a distinct line between my friendships and a serious relationship and this is not based on sex rules as I am only interested in a relationship with an asexual guy – although I have personal physical boundaries like everyone should do – it’s healthy for the type of serious relationship that I want with physical closeness and if I were to date a sexual ever again, then ofcourse I would need rules to ensure I remained comfortable. I do however love to kiss in a relationship and there is no way I want to French kiss my only friends.

I am glad I have high personal standards for a serious relationship and know what I want from one and like it says in my profile, I am looking for my bestest friend, soulmate and love of my life, all wrap into one. This does not mean to say I don’t value my friendships becuase I do and since discovering I am asexual, I have more friends than before – I talk about this is my Asexual Perspectives book that is out now on Amazon and I have interviewed 46 asexuals around the globe for it and there is at least one other person in the book that has the same sort of thinking as you. Thanks for sharing.

Sandra

[Sandra]

Hi J Brian Thomas

Yeah, I get your point. Asexusls have to be willing to travel or move for a relationship usually. As I don’t want to move, I would be prepared to travel a certain distance but also looking for someone who wants to move and not looking for sex, marriage or kids and who wants an LAT relationship like I do. Foreign and younger too!

Sandra

[Beth]

100% looking for a relationship! Friendship is amazing and I would love to make some asexual friends who know how I feel when I get told asexuality isn’t a real thing! But in the long run, I’m tired of being alone! I miss the cuddles, and having someone to go home to.

[Sandra]

Hi Beth

I totally get you, yeah, ace friends are great and I love my ace friends to bits, but when you are romantic – it is like – you just want some romance and physical closes without sex.

[Alexander Avery Jenkins]

Good luck finding a sexless relationship here….

—

@-@

xD lmao

[Beth]

Hi Sandra,

It’s definitely tough! But I’m sure it’s not impossible :p I’ve also just applied to join your Facebook group 🙂

[Sandra]

Hi Beth

Thanks for requesting to join and thanks for letting me know – I have just added you.

Read the pinned post there, post what you are looking for and enjoy.

Sandra

[Beth]

Thank you for adding me 😀 Quick question: If I post on the facebook page, will it post to my facebook wall like some groups do?

[Sandra]

Hi Beth

It shouldn’t do as it is a closed group. If it were a public group then some others could see what you post flash up (usually on the right) – but nothing should actually post directly on your own Facebook profile unless you share a post or copy it to it or have an AP that does that.

Sandra

[Sandra]

So do you think many people on this site are asexual? Or do you think many are not really and are trying their luck? What is your experience?

[Nat]

I am and I´m really hoping I can find my soulmate on this site:) Only been here 1,5 day now! Been kind of quiet, but I hope i get some replies soon.

[Samantha Derr]

I’m currently at the point where I’m exploring my options. I’m gray-romantic, autochorissexual: I’ve never dated & before last year, was never much interested in it.

But I do find myself wanting a relationship that’s more than familial or platonic.

I’m not 100% opposed to dating an allosexual, but I’d prefer to date another ace, since I think I’d feel less pressured a) to explain my lack of desire for sex; b) to have sex at all.

[JoAnn]

I am. I would love to find someone for a romantic relationship (including kissing, hand holding and cuddling) but I haven’t had much luck so far on this or on other ace websites. While there are ace men on here, usually they are too far away or have abandoned their accounts. Other times they ignore messages or respond once or twice, then disappear, never to be heard from again. It’s easy to become depressed and discouraged. I Sometimes I feel I should go back to a mainstream dating site like eHarmony.(Not that I had any luck there.)

[danny]

Hi you are so right thats pretty much whats halpened to me,with just a few exceptions.It seems many aces are almost scared of contacting other aces?even when you do send messages to people who live close by’when you can find somebody living nearby that is’quite often its a walk of silence,its very odd? if we lived closer together I would have definetely met for a coffee and a friendly chat,without any pressure to stay intouch.Remember you are not alone we are out there somewhere! Good luck:)

[Sandra]

Hi Samantha

I refuse to date sexuals anymore, as they all need sex in my experience. It is tough when you want romance though – I love kissing and romance.

Sandra

[Sandra]

Hi JoAnn

I am in the same situation as you – although I have the added agravasion of being a hyper-romantic too.

I used to be on E-Harmony in 2012 – found out I am ace in 2014. When I told guys in PMs on that site, that I did not want sex, it was a dealbreaker for them. And when I eventually put that in my profile the response was zilch. Apart from some random guy contacting me like 8 months later and he phoned me and was very weird. Monotone voice and had trouble even uploading a pic and was saying some stuff to get me to like him. He sounded very weird that is all I can say as I cannot mimic that strange voice, which sounded all on one tone and like he was talking through his teeeth but a slight high pitch. It was one of the most disturbing tones I have heard to my ears, but I am sure there is someone for everyone and I had a lucky escape as a sexual guy I had dated, requested me to be his girlfriend – which lasted 3 weeks, as I refused to have sex with him and he looked to get that from another girl and that was the last relatioship that I had – if you can call that a relationship. I like passion too – but with my clothes on and no sex. It is tough. .

[Author]

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