WHO HERE IS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS AND COMMITTED NO SEX RELATIONSHIP?

[Ayush Kathuria]

I am also looking for a no sex relationship. I am a 21M in Vancouver Canada, I am from Oxfordshire UK originally.
I have tried dating apps but to no avail. It is really hard to find someone especially at my age who doesn’t want sex. I see it more of as a chore and my last relationship made me feel so bad, it left me with a lot of anxiety and constantly blaming myself for being asexual. After that I don’t think I can date someone who isn’t asexual.

[Sandra]

Hi Ayush, I just saw your comment here. Thanks for joining my thread, and thanks also for your lovely private message, I just replied to you. You just answered one of the questions I had, which was, is that Oxfordshire in the UK, and it is. As I live in Exeter, Devon, UK. I have been to Oxford once and 2 of my published books, including Asexual Perspectives, are in an Oxford library.

I am sorry about your last relationship. I understand you. The expectation of sex at the end of a date, used to make me feel like I was going to wet myself, I was that anxious, before I found out I am asexual. I had sex in the past because I thought I had to. And after that last long-term relationship ended, I could not bring myself to do it anymore. Now I have been sex free since some time in October 2011. Thank God. I too, really want to be with an asexual, – guy. I love kissing a lot, but without it ever leading to sex. That would be bliss for me. I could not trust a heterosexual guy to be in a long-term relationship with me and not cheat or put pressure on me for sex.

I know what you mean about people in their 20s. I get attracted predominantly to guys in their 20s, but they all want sex with me, unless they are asexual. I live in the UK, but not much attracted to British guys. All the foreign non-asexual guy’s want sex. The last guy, who was Indian, only danced with me for 5 minutes at the end of the clubbing night. He wanted to pay for a taxi to mine so he could sleep in my bed. Which means sex. I told him I don’t like sex and no. I went home in the taxi I had already booked for myself, by myself.

It’s perfectly fine to be asexual. Nothing wrong with it. I am openly asexual to the world. Sorry your ex made you feel bad, it’s their loss. You are beautiful just as you are.

Sandra x

• This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by Sandra.

[Angel]

I don’t know that I’m actively looking for someone assexual but I am open to it because I am looking for companionship first and foremost. It might need to be an open relationship so I could have sex. I was married for 7 years and he had a very low sex drive so I had a boyfriend the entire time I was married. He was not honest about his low sex drive/assexuality. I think that was part of the problem. That was really how I found this site – by looking into assexuality and low sex drive. He was also not very adventurous and always tired. I’d rather find someone that likes to go do things and likes an occasional adventure.

[Keni]

I don’t want sex only a deep friendship/relationship built on trust and honesty. Sure I want to have everything else but not sex.

[Sandra]

Hi Angel,

Thanks for sharing that.

Some asexuals don’t mind a polyamorous relationship. I am personally monogamous and love my sex free life. But I love kissing younger foreign guys most. Especially Indian guys in their 20s. So I am hoping to find my asexual Indian soulmate one day.

I like a guy who ‘does’ things too. In a career/creative/intelligent way, and going out on dates to theme parks, zoos, aquariums, out for meals, and to the cinema.

[Anonymous]

I am. Sex isn’t something I see a need for. Give me the cuddling, the kisses, the hugs, sure, but the rest? The reality of life? Bed or other theoretical sex surfaces, are for the world’s most intimate book club, hypothetical discussions, plots for world domination and the occasional movie marathon and rainy day picnic. Life is so much more, sex gets in the way. It has no purpose.

[Sandra]

Hi Clara,

Amen to that. I couldn’t agree with you more. We have very similar thinking.

Sandra xx

[Mesh (Meeesh)]

Watching 90 Day Fiance has me saying “F*ck it! A connection is a connection! There are only so many ace guys in the entire WORLD that are straight…Let alone just one country.”

[Sandra]

I wish you luck Mesh. I don’t think I could be in a long-term, committed relationship, with someone who isn’t asexual. I am monogamous and sex-repulsed for me personally these days.

[SierraLoba]

Agreed! (That show is hilarious in a train wreck in motion kind of way) The ace dating pool is so small 😂 I’m completely open to helping someone get a K-1 visa. But yeah. Isn’t that why we paid the fee for this site. I can make friends but making a romantic asexual connection. Feels nearly impossible.

[DanM86]

I’m in the opposite boat: want to develop romance that may lead to sex but without the expectation that it is a result of with my partner’s gender or orientation. Romance would come first and later entertaining would the idea of tapping into libido based on enough emotional connection. Other experiences with dating sites tended to emphasize that romance and sex must come hand in hand (no pun).

[Michael M.]

I’m looking for romantic companionship, whatever that looks like. I do have sexual attraction and some sexual interest, I just don’t think it’s enough to sustain a healthy, happy long term relationship for someone who needs it.

[KilimanjaroDan]

Yes, I definitely relate to these frustrating experiences. And I’m curious, has anyone here had any success experiences in the Aces realm?

[Sammie]

Yes, I have connected with a great person and started a relationship proving that perseverance pays off! It can get frustrating at times, but keep messaging people, find similar interests, and don’t give up! It only takes one, and it’s well worth it!

[Peter]

I’m searching for a serious asexual relationship and glad to hear someone else found it. Given my shyness…..I will have to be really determined.

[Sandra]

Hi Sam, so happy for you both, and the fact this site connected you together, is incredible. Wishing you both lots of love and happy times ahead together.

[Sandra]

Hey Peter

Yeah you have to be super determined to succeed and very proactive.

I notice you live in the UK. I hold asexual meetups in my city of Exeter and people travel to come to them – I just started them up again last weekend. We can only have a maximum of 6 people usually, and I mostly hold them every 2-3 months.

I also do online group asexual meetups via Skype, and we have one tomorrow at 3pm.

I will be creating a separate forum post about that. It’s strictly for asexuals and those on the asexual spectrum only.

If you want to attend that, then let me know.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Sandra.

[Sandra]

Happy Asexual Awareness Week.

I created this video to celebrate it https://youtu.be/cL1Fl1LyshE If you can share it, it would be great.

I am still having a hard time finding a younger asexual guy in the UK who is actually serious about getting into a relationship. I keep meeting guys who aren’t that bothered, or who are non-committal. My best asexual friend I introduced to their partner who was looking for someone on this site. So there is a happy ending.

[Haggis]

I am looking for a no sex relationship but I love affection, cuddles and kisses.

It’s so hard as most women you meet want sex🙄 i hope and pray that the right girl is out there reading this.
I am so content with my no sex life after spending years putting myself through the ringer to appease what life expects.
Im. Looking for a girl who just wants to laugh and have fun, and do the best things in life.

My soul mate is out there and it gives me encouragement when you read of others finding their connection.

Hope everybody has a wonderful festive period and spends time with friends and family, I will be doing exactly that but at the same time thinking how brilliant it would be to spend quality time with that special person. ❤️

[Lorraine]

Hi Haggis…

Sounds like you are in a similar situation to myself!

I have sent you a brief private message 🙂

[Author]

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