WHO HERE IS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS AND COMMITTED NO SEX RELATIONSHIP?

[Kelsey]

Honestly, I wonder this all the time. I have made a lot of friends on here. A lot. But that’s it. I am yet to get a message from anybody who is actually interested in romance. It makes me wonder why they chose this site. There’s so many other places where you can make friends and not get someone’s hopes up. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, I love all the friends that I’ve made dearly, but I’m tired of playing the game. Does this person really like me, or do they just want to chat? I’m getting to the age where it’s getting difficult to find homoromantic asexuals (since it’s seen as a trendy youth thing) and I’m ready to just move on and settle down!! Why else would I have joined!? People should make it clear early on if they’re only looking for friendship. I’m thankful for thoes that do, but I’m tired of playing games and getting my heart broken.

[Anonymous]

Hey all,

I’ve recently joined for this exact reason actually. I’ve been fiddling with various dating apps/websites to test the waters so to speak and it’s certainly difficult no doubt, especially seeing as it’s not entirely common to come across other fellow people amongst the asexual spectrum.

I love physical affection and kissing but I’ve always worried when passionate kissing starts becoming more. It’d be nice to kiss passionately and not have it head straight towards sex.

[Anonymous]

I would really love to have a non-sex relationship. For me, it would be pretty hard for me to have a relationship with someone who is sexual. I don’t mind being single, but it would be nice to have someone that I can call special. That’s why I am trying to actively search for someone, because it would be almost impossible to just wait for it to happen, because there aren’t many asexuals around.

[Anonymous]

*Raises hand

[Mara Copland]

Still nothing. I’ve expanded my dating pool to AFAB transmen and non-binary folk and still nada.

I’m so tired of hoping.

[Anonymous]

never give in, Mara!

[Mara Copland]

That’s sweet, but I’m 33, not attractive, socially awkward with severe anxiety and I haven’t been on a date in a year and on a *good* date in.. ever.

It ain’t gonna happen.

[Maura]

*also raises hand*

Yeah this gal is still looking. I finally deleted my standard online dating profiles, because there’s no sense for me to look on OKC/Tinder/etc for another ace, when I should focus on places like here, where the aces are!

[Anonymous]

That’s actually a pretty good idea Maura, I was contemplating that while browsing through OkCupid and only coming across maybe 1 or two other aces.

Would probably remove the need to explain what being asexual is to a non-asexual person haha.

[Sandra]

Hi Julian

I want the exact same thing as you in a relationship in regards to the passionate kissing without the sex. I also want a younger foreign asexual guy as I am not that attracted to British but I love living in the UK and specifically my flat in, so not sure if you are looking for someone in your country or to relocate?

I read your profile and it reads like you are looking for lots of friends more than a relationship,so that is why I did not approach you but feel free to reach out and friend me if you want.

I am looking for a serious and committed romantic relationship and agree with Kelsey.

My time and energy is limited – i work a lot – and I would rather put it into finding a guy that is serious about a relationship with me rather than having a lot of friends to chat with.

Sandra

[Anonymous]

Hey Sandra,

Haha unfortunately I am not looking to relocate to the UK any time soon, but I am definitely looking for someone in Australia.

I’m not exactly keen on “dating”, in my experience having a good friendship foundation tends to lead to a great relationship experience overall. Hence my emphasis on finding friends, for it to move towards a relationship then it’s a matter of whether or not there’s chemistry between both parties.

I’m very upfront when I like someone and will always outright tell them, whether the feeling is mutual or not. It’s always good to get that stuff off my chest.

[Anonymous]

I suppose I am one of those nasty no-good people guilty of being on a “dating” site without technically wanting to date anyone. But the asexual pool is small and the asexual umbrella is large. Some folks simply fall on the aromantic or demi-sexual side but still seek companionship, otherwise they would not be here.

I myself see romance as something that has to develop out of a friendship without prior expectations. Putting the romance aspect before the friendship is putting the cart in front of the horse. Hence why I would never seek to meet someone with the predetermined intent of dating them. I’ve never been on a date, heck I’ve never even kissed anyone or felt even the mildest impulse to do so. Mouths are icky.

Relationship is just such a strong word…it’s a scary word. One that implies commitment and vulnerability. I’m more looking for a BFF, a soulmate, a…bromance so to speak? And after managing to form a bond then whatever happens will happen naturally anyway. I imagine that would be the ideal outcome at least.

[Leremy]

\(-_-)/
I aaaaaaaam! My dollar tree loving a** didnt just spend 20$ for nothing! lol
Scared to death because I’ve never been so open about who I am ever but I guess that’s what comes with building relationships right? I’d definitely want to befriend a nice lady first so that I may establish trust with this person and make her chinese food and tell her she’s pretty all the time :3 …I just gotta find her, and hopefully she’s not gonna crush me like all the others who just wanted sex rather than a fluffy yuri esque pure radiant love that is both strong and true…like Kindred Spirits on the Roof but with an ace lady. *sighs* Its like, I always help others find love but where’s my slice of pie– Where’s my Hina-chan?! But yeah, Im down ladies sign me up (Already here too late) Hehehe

BTW I LOVE LOVE your avatar Annie Peridot is the best space dorito! 😀

[Mara Copland]

Oh my god, another ace girl looking for a woman?! Hi!

[Leremy]

Ooh hey. 🙂 …Im totally about to disappoint you but Im actually a trans guy. o.o just really love the pure fluffness of yuri…always have, even back when I identified as a celibate closet lesbian. xDD I guess I could technically still pass as a very masculine woman if youre up for befriending one??(Always friends first)…just growing facial hair (Im very proud of my baby ‘stache) if you like sasquatch try diet dr. squatch (thats me) xDD
And Mara dont be so down on yourself, you can’t be all that bad if you found your way here this is where the party’s at…kinda-sorta…Honestly I dont know what to think about this site, but I cant give up because I have a dream…that one day a super nice lady will show me how to make the perfect hashbrowns whilst we wear matching footsie pajamas. x3

[Mara Copland]

Oh lord, I’m sorry! I saw the yuri and assumed. Mea culpa!

My best friend is a trans guy, and so’s my roomie. I seem to attract them, which is fine by me!

If you want someone to show you how to make hashbrowns, you let me know. <3

[Anonymous]

Funny that, I too am part of the brotherhood of transmen. Congrats on the baby ‘stache Leremy, seeing your facial hair grow for the first time is goddamn exciting!

Annie, I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with being on a dating app/site and not “dating” anyone. I am doing the same thing, I guess it’s just nice to cast out a net to see what’s going on out there although I’m careful with how I interact with allosexuals that I match with and make it clear that I’m looking for cool cat friends rather than dates.

Besides, dating to me has always been a weird concept, and feels like a bit of forced pressure. Meet others on a dating website for the sole purpose to make friends with them is ideal and anything that comes after that is just a pure bonus!

[Sandra]

I personally think that the best relationship/s is based on a foundation of best ever friendship, and this is what I would like, to have a bestest ever guy friend, soulmate and love of my life all wrapped into one.

I joined this site to find my relationship soulmate that I have known since 10 that I have and I am looking for someone who wants a serious and committed relationship, rather than just to be friends.

I am finding in general that it is far harder to find asexual guys who are actually looking for a serious and committed relationship, rather than just friendship, whereas sexuals are more inclined with the serious bit, and I think that is sad and difficult. I have spoken to others asexuals who feel the same, that people may send a couple of messages but then that is it, that is why I started this thread.

Yes a serious relationship requires commitment by both people and yes you are vulnerable, but you are vulnerable just from being alive and in this world. Even with friends only, you are vulnerable.

I hope we all find what we are looking for xx

[Mara Copland]

(Julian, I have to say, your stache is *magnificent*.)

[Anonymous]

It’s always a bit of a leap to bare your soul to another and be vulnerable, we all keep our walls up in order to seem like we are not supposedly “weak”. But when you find that special someone whether it be in a friendship or a relationship that you are comfortable enough that you can let those walls down, boy does it make you feel alive and humbled!

In my experience, the best relationships began as fantastic friendships that blossomed into loving partnerships. Honestly, it’s the best way to go.

And oh! 😳 That is far too kind of you Mara, cheers!

Just testing the waters with a main ‘mo for the week, it’s trimmed to look less drooped down though, but I’m liking it thus far! Ideally, would love to try a thick Magnum P.I. ‘stache, but alas, I have huge lips so it’s unachievable, maybe my ‘stache will get thicker with age. Here’s hoping!

[Author]

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