WHO HERE IS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS AND COMMITTED NO SEX RELATIONSHIP?

[Sandra]

Hi Dale,

Oh I see. Thanks for explaining and congratulations on 15 years,that is fab.

Does she not like you getting emotionally intimate with others? Or physically intimate?

Even many heterosexuals break-up not just because of the sex, but because of emotionally connection with another, so maybe they are scared of that?

All relationships can be tough.

I wish you the best anyway.

Sandra

[Anonymous]

Hi. I’m new to this site. I had no idea it was here. Yes, there are those of us who are looking for life long companions. I have a happy life. I’d like to share it with a special someone. I’m bisexual and I don’t hide it. Just because a person is asexual doesn’t mean they don’t want to be loved.

[Dale L. Masters]

Sandra, she’s always felt guilty about the sex.
After we moved to our present location, it got so bad that I was the one who stopped it.
Currently working through an anxiety/depression episode. I’ve been through personal and group therapy and learned how to use cognitive behavioral therapy, but in this case, it’s not getting any better.
Had 5 narcoleptic attacks while eating brunch.😡😡😡

• This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by Dale L. Masters.

[Sandra]

Welcome Wanda, thanks for sharing xx

[Sandra]

Hi Dale, I am really sorry to hear all of this, it must be difficult for you both.

In the past I tried CAT and CAB but they didn’t do much good. I was just getting into one of them when it had to stop. I understand that we all have bad patterns and cycles we have to break, but the how to break them and sustain that is more difficult to figure out. I don’t have any of these any more.

Sandra xx

[Anonymous]

I think there’s lots of us who would like a serious relationship. But what do you do? Go on a date and say, “by the way, I really like you, but I don’t want to have sex with you”. That’s a bombshell that will blow up. I’m not ashamed of who and what I am. Finding someone who can accept it is the hard part.

[Fae]

I want to have a normal relationship, like anyone else. I just don’t want sex. Also I’m somewhat haphephobic, so touching is something I only do when I’m very, very comfortable with a person. Hugs and cuddling early in a relationship is just not going to happen with me. But no one is willing to take the time and effort to know me and get me out of my shell, and the rejection just sends me deeper and deeper inside myself.

[Jon]

Me. Totally fine with out sex. Just looking for someone to share my life with.

[Anonymous]

I would like to have a a serious, long term relationship with a woman (18-45). However it seems there aren’t many people here who live close to me.

[Sandra]

Hi Hans,

The truth is you are lucky if you can find a few asexuals in your city, and they are not that likely to be a relationship match. Most asexuals have to be willing to travel or move – or find a mover, but most won’t put in the time and effort which that requires. People want an easy life, not to get out of their comfort zone and makes things happen.

One of my asexual friends went to a different asexual meetup across the UK, almost every week for 3 months solidly and met the girl of his dreams and now he is engaged to be married to her. He lives in London and she lives in Bath – but she was worth travelling for, shame more asexuals are not like him.

[Caroline]

This is the ideal relationship I want. Someone to share my life with, be romantic and cuddly with, but never have sex with. I don’t know if I’ll ever find it, though. There’s no big ace community where I live, and online dating and/or ace-specific dating website don’t yield much success either. 🙁

[Anonymous]

Hi Caroline. Lots of us want what you do. A companion, someone to hold hands with, cuddle on the beach. A lot of us are out there. Connecting with them is much more difficult. Keep trying. You’ll find someone.

[Birdie Davison]

God, I absolutely want this. But it’s so hard, like people seem to have an ingrained belief that sex is a ‘step’ of a relationship, that is HAS to happen at some point and that upsets me so much. I just want someone to have a cute and cuddly romance with, someone to just trust but I’d always be scared that they’d decide that they ‘need’ sex and cheat on me or something. It’s kinda heartbreaking.

But good luck to you all! There’s someone out there for all of you, I believe that completely! <3

[Rima]

Hello everybody

I am looking for no sex relationship, but it’s very difficult to find it.

[Sandra]

Hi Rima

I know there is a Demisexual guy in his 50s looking for someone in the UK – but he is also looking for a lot of physicality without sex. I am nudity repulsed so would not suit him and he is older than I would usually be interested in.

Sandra

[Sandra]

Hi Birdie Davison

That is why I am on here, to try and find another asexual for a relationship without sex.

Been here since 2014 and still not given up.

Sandra

[Mossy]

ME too! I joined in 2014, and was absent since then for a few years, and have now moved back to the UK, so I am trying again, so if there are any lovely men within the range of 38-50 that are also looking for this, have a look at my profile and maybe we’d be a match. Good luck everyone, we are the most unusual kind of people, more rare than homosexuals even!

[Sandra]

Hi Mossy, we are a rare gem.

I live in the UK and hold asexual meetups in my city of Exeter, and people come from all over the UK to them. If you ever want to join us then please PM me or email me [email protected]

Sandra xx

[Anonymous]

I am seriously looking for that kind of relationship and have been for years. The first boy I was in a relationship with, who had been my best friend for over a decade, told me he was asexual then tried to force himself on me more than once. I broke up with him and he has harassed me ever since, even trying to kill himself while talking on the phone to me and telling me it was my fault if he died. I have a phobia of using a phone thanks to that. It put me off for years and when I did try again the man it was starting to trust told me that he wanted to sleep with me! But I made the decision to try again as I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life and where friends are good, I would like a special someone in my life to share things with, kiss, cuddle and hold hands with. It just hasn’t happened yet and I wish it would hurry up!

[Adriana]

Me! But it seems like there’s hardly anyone in New Jersey, unfortunately :\ I’m still holding out for someone close by, since I’m new to this site. But I’m worried that it’s unrealistic. Why can’t more people not care about sex?! ;_;

[Author]

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