WHO HERE IS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS AND COMMITTED NO SEX RELATIONSHIP?

[Samantha Derr]

I’m currently looking for a queer platonic partner. I’m both asexual & aromantic, so I’m not looking for any kind of sexual or romantic relationship, but I would like someone I can be with & be close to.

[Emma]

I’m looking for the same thing. You’re not alone.

[Dara]

I am a biromantic ace. I have taken other labels as I still have some doubts about what to call myself even after 9 years of being very vocal about my asexuality.

However, I am very much looking for a semi-romantic relationship with male or female who understands that a little bit of hand-holding, comforting hugs, quick kisses and EXTREMELY good communication is what I am really looking for.

I have NO desire for sexual activity, but being in a comfortable situation where I can do my own thing when I want or do something with my partner that we will both enjoy is paramount.

Been single for 9 years and now am ready to meet individuals that are looking for what I am looking for. 🙂

[Sandra]

Hi Brian

Yeah, I like the fact we can have these adult and intelligent conversations here. It sounds like you have done a lot of development work on yourself so congratulations to you for that, a very great achievement.

Sandra

[Sandra]

Hi Dara

Lovely to see you here.

Sandra xx

[Sandra]

It is great that so many of you here are applying to be in my Asexualise group, however this is strictly for those who never want sex, so if you are Grey or Demisexual, or may want sex, please apply to this group thanks https://www.facebook.com/groups/greyacexualdatinganddemiacexualdating/

[Dara]

I keep giving myself titles, but I know I have never wanted sex. For a bit there I thought it was just my libido, (of course other people giving me suggestions, instead of listening to myself), I think a lot of the titles I have given myself in the past 2 years, have been just figuring out if that is really what I am.

I am definitely a no-sex asexual. I am a biromantic. I am looking for romantic relationships, including hugs, kisses and tons of amazing communication and also time to myself.

I can’t even remember a time where I thought sex was good or needed, even when I was having it because I was told I was supposed to because that is what a relationship must have. I have been single for 9 years now and happier than I have ever been that I no longer have to be with an allosexual.

I think this is the place for me.

It’s really nice to see you again Sandra. I have been pretty quiet on facebook, but hopefully can share my thoughts here. I like this better than facebook, it just feels safer here.

Thanks for all of your hard work, Sandra! You are a blessing helping those of us who may have felt off track because we didn’t want what others did, but have a place now to speak our minds.

Thanks!

[Sandra]

Hi Dara

Thank you. You are very welcome.

I thought the same as you, I thought I had to have sex in a relationship as that is what was expected of me, thank God I discovered I am asexual and can get love without sex. Eben though I am single, I know there are tons of others like me. I hope one day I meet the right asexual guy to have a romantic relationship with, but if not, I still love me.

Sandra xx

[Dara]

I agree with you completely. We are definitely on the same level. You stated what I said, in a Fabulous way. Thank you for this place. It feels really nice to be here and get some of my thoughts out. 🙂

[Dale L. Masters]

If I cuddled with anyone elsebesides my spouse, she would leave me.
We had this discussion about a month ago.
We were in a sexual relationship. She couldn’t understand how I could have no sexual feelings, yet didn’t mind the sex. We stopped because 1) she couldn’t handle the guilt (she believes being gay is a sin,) and 2) it was getting increasingly more painful for her (she has a multitude of disabilities.)
After patiently waiting for seven years, I finally said “Enough! You can’t handle it…& I don’t need it!”
I still cannot believe she told me I could “be involved with other people sexually if [I] felt the need to”!!!!

[Kea]

That’s definitely what I’m looking for. It seems as though most asexual people here are NOT looking for that though. I do like some level of affection (no sex) but it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with. It seems impossible to find someone like that here though. It’s hard to even get people to respond to emails. It almost seems pointless to have DATING site for asexuals when nobody seems to want to date, haha.

[Tracy]

I am 53 yo and would love to find a committed relationship with no sex, but believe I am the only one

[starstheylevitate]

Me…I just want someone to cuddle and watch movies with. No sex. But to find someone with these same wants, and to have a connection with this same person, seems impossible sometimes…

[Sandra]

Hi Dale

I am sorry you feel your ex could not handle your asexuality. 7 years is a long time.

However, if she was monogamous,it would be natural for her to not want you to be sexually involved with other people and ‘cuddling’ others can be seen as wrong, if and when, you are in a monogamous relationship, as that can be seen as an intimacy that should only be shared exclusively with your partner, if in a monogamous relationship – If in a mutual poly relationship, it is different. That’s why it is important to establish compatible boundaries in a prospective partner before you team up.

Sandra

[Sandra]

Hi Kea

Yeah, I know, it is so weird. I am really serious about finding someone, but it seems others aren’t. They come into my life, seems really keen, then out they go again! Most don’t live in UK, so I guess that is why from that point of view.

But there was one guy on here, in the UK, who I messaged recently and he added me on FB as he is not a paid member and seemed really keen, but after he messaged me when he was drunk – I don’t drink – and when I messaged him back to say I am not the type of girl to meet up for a weekend just to sit in front of the TV as that would bore me and that I am often busy working on my various projects, (he had already talked about me visiting him when I don’t know him anyway), he stopped talking to me. Guess that is what he wanted, a girl to just sit there watching TV with him because he felt lonely, not that he wanted a girl who actually has a brain and likes to use it to build websites and likes to keep busy with blogging and vlogging and everything else I like to do. Think he would rather having someone – who to me – would be boring!

Sandra

[Dale L. Masters]

Thank you, Sandra…but it’s the homoromantic part she has trouble with.
Sex is no longer an issue. We’ve been married 15 years…and intend to stay that way.

[Dara]

I find it strange that there are so many of us here saying the exact same thing. However, it sounds like because of past experiences, no one wants what we want, when obviously someone does, as we have all stated.

How do we get past that fear?

[Dale L. Masters]

Dara, I’ve found that being as authentic & open as possible is a great help. Granted, it holds the danger of emotional betrayal…but so do all other types of human relationship.

I’ve a feeling that you will find exactly who you need. You have the right to be choosy, and in this case, I would strongly recommend it.

Be well. Be happy. I’m here if you need me.

[Arantza, ST]

Im new and i want to know people in spain. I want to made demiasex friends and in we can a relationship 🙂

[Sandra]

Hi Dara,

I think Dale makes some good points. But something else is we all need to be proactive in approaching other people on here and NOT wait for them to come to us! So many people keep holing out for the fact that they waiting for someone to connect with them, when they should be reaching out,

Just like anything else, to find the ‘one’, or ‘ones’ in the case of polyamorous, it is a numbers game, and as we are lower in numbers, we have to approach even more people on here to find a compatible partner/s.

People who really want to be in a committed relationship, need to work hard at that. It seems they want the end result without putting in the continued time and effort. Some also have lower standards and I won’t go to that level. I met so many guys who say they are interested in me and then after a few or several messages, that is it! I also think we should be honest with each other if not compatible and move on, but tell the other person, so they are not left thinking, what did I do wrong!

Sandra xx

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