WHO HERE IS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS AND COMMITTED NO SEX RELATIONSHIP?

[Sandra]

Hi Leslie,

I completely understand. I am done with dating sexuals – it got to the point when going on a date that I would practically wet myself from the nerves of them wanting to have sex with me. I still get approached by sexuals – mostly online and say am asexual, even before they get to the sex part – I know the usual – simple leading chat-up lines.

[Sandra]

Hi Anisja

This is so true. I feel great to know so many asexuals and very blessed to be able to meet some in person each year. Sorry to hear you were made to feel guilty, I think a lot of asexuals can rely;ate to that.

[Anonymous]

I’d fall into this category nowadays. I made the mistake of entering into a sexual relationship around 2 years ago in efforts of making it work, despite having realised 5 years prior that I am an asexual.

The simple and complete lack of chemistry becomes the elephant in the room, everything done was learned behaviour, not something natural or desired. It left my partner confused and worried.

It ended within a few months, with the main reason being the lack of sexual connection. Afterward I came to understand and value the differences between someone who experiences sexual attraction, to someone like myself who does not, and impact it has on sex.

For that reason I won’t consider someone who is sexual anymore, because I realise that it isn’t compatible, or at least for me anyway. Even if they were to initially agree, I reckon there would be a point where they would desire me in a way that I am unable to reciprocate.

[danny]

Hi Zack

Your experiences mirror mine, its tough isnt it because you can love and have deep feelings for the person you are dating but you carnt please them in that way it hurts but you have to dust yourself down and find that space that works for yourself.Like you it was all learned behaviour patterns to hide your vulnerability in the vague hope it would come right in the end.lol. Ultimately that great elusive rush of passion you desperately were seeking never materialises.

[Dan]

Hi Sandra and everyone.

Thanks for starting this page here and the one on Facebook. They are very much needed. As I am hidden way deep in the ace closet, for reasons of my own which undoubtedly you and all here would understand, I’d like knot if your Facebook page, listed above [http://www.facebook.com/groups/acexualisedating] is a Secret page, not just Closed. If it’s Open or Closed, I’m not sure I would join due to my privacy concerns.

To answer your question: Yes, I am looking for a serious ace relationship. I identify as heteroromantic asexual. More info is in my profile page here. I am also on Asexualitic but have had no luck finding anyone there.

~Dan

[Dan]

Damn, can’t we edit our own posts? I want to edit my ridiculous sentence about being here on Asexualitic as if I was talking about another site. I just meant to say I haven’t been able to meet anyone here.

(Ah, so I can edit my response to my first post, but I can’t edit my first post. This is a very bizarrely-produced website.)

• This reply was modified 8 years ago by Dan.

[Sandra]

Hi Dan, thank you. Glad you like this page. It is very active and that is a good thing, because it means we are more likely to check each other out and maybe find the one. It is also great just to chat and get understanding.

My Asexualise Dating group is currently a closed group, definitely not a public one. I have a public page that is separate to the group, but by the same name, that anyone can Like and find out more. If I made it a secret group, then only those informed about it, would know about it, as it would not come up in search. The benefit to that is increased privacy, as no one will be a able to see the members in the group, but it will not be visible to find it, so many less people will join and this cuts down on the amount of people we will be able to have a potential relationship with and that is why I choose to currently keep it on public. I would love to have you in my group, but I understand. You could make a second FB profile that no one knew about and just use it for asexual groups with an alias name and picture of a cat or something – the only problem with that is potential trust issues (fake accounts), and people like to see a face if they are dating, but some people do this for privacy protection, and just do a post with their real photo, in the group at some point.

I also have a website. http://www.asexualise.com and a Kindle book called Asexual Perspectives. I interviewed 46 Asexuals around the globe for it, and it is a great book with so many aces telling their personal story, form across the spectrum. I am currently finalising the printed version – I hope – 3rd typesetter and a lot of people waiting for it.http://amzn.to/2qa7ray And I have an education channel http://www.youtube.com/c/asexualisemyasexuallife

[Sarah Thompson]

I have come to this site looking for a serious relationship with either a man or a woman. I’ve been asked by people who don’t understand asexuality, “Why do you even date, then?” It’s because I genuinely want a connection with someone that goes beyond sex, and I want to actually go out with someone without having to tell the other person I’m asexual and then getting rejected because of it. I have only met a handful of asexual people in my area, which is Dallas.

Just because I’m asexual doesn’t mean I don’t want love, and happiness. I get why some only want friendship, but my want goes far beyond that. It’s really frustrating.

[Sandra]

Sarah, I am like you in the sense I want more than friendship – with, in my case, a guy. By he must be asexual. I cannot date a sexual anymore as i can never give him sex and I don’t even like nudity. I love tons of kissing and romance though.

[Anonymous]

I would love a relationship like that, and now that I have found this site, I feel (for the first time in quite awhile) like it might actually be a possibility!

[Anonymous]

To me that would be a dream come true. I love to be more than just friends with a woman. I’m a romantic

[Sandra]

Hi Reamon,

Hope you approach some ladies on here and have some luck. Keep trying and don’t give up. I think their are statistically more female aces.

[CJ]

I have been on every celibate and asexual dating site there is over the last several years and there is either no one that is a good match for me or no one that answers their messages. Unlike many of you, I have been traumatized. Traumatized by being in sexual relationships and trying to ‘hang in there’. I can’t do it anymore. The pain is too much. I still am in the hopes that I will meet a wonderful guy (I am a girl) who is a great match for me and we can have a loving, sincere, kind and respectful long term relationship without sex. Despite the past, I hold out hope.

[Sandra]

Hi CJ

Thanks for sharing. Sorry about your trauma. I think you may be surprised at how many asexuals here can relate to that.

Glad to hear you won’t give up. That is very inspiring.

Is the incompatibility due to distance, or hobbies and interests – or relationship stuff, like incompatibility of pysical closeness?

Sandra

[Gerdes]

Hi Sandra, I’m an ‘older’ foreign guy that doesn’t live in the UK and unable to move anywhere else. I would be interested to hear more about your views on friendships, asexuality etc. Text/message me on a strictly “friends only” basis if you wish 🙂 Gerdes

[Brendan]

This, its very tough when there are so few of us. I have completely quite trying to date normally sexually active people and we are so rare that I have trouble finding someone locally, let alone one interested in meeting a complete stranger. Thanks for starting the facebook group, just put my request in to join!

[Sandra]

Hi Brendan

I just saw your request to my group and accepted it.

I also have an Asexual Friends group http://www.facebook.com/groups/acefriendsrus

Sandra

[Ariana]

I am definitely looking for a serious relationship that involves a mutual understanding of no sex. I have not yet been in a relationship, as I have spent so long being confused about being ace, I was so hesitant to start a relationship. Now that I am so much more secure in myself and my orientation, I do hope to find someone to be in a committed serious relationship with. I am worried If I will even be able to find someone in the asexual community though, as I have a strong aversion to kissing as well as sex. I haven’t found anyone who can relate to that one yet- or who would be willing to have a partner with these aversions.
I just feel like I have too many factors stacked against me sometimes, you know?

[Sandra]

Hi Ariana,

Nice to meet you. In my experience, a lot of aromantics don’t like kissing. A hug or possiby cuddle would be their usual closeness. There seems to be a substantial amount of aromantics so I think you will find someone.

I am a bit of a kissaholic and most ace guys do not like French kissing and not so much kissing in general.

Sandra

[Tara]

Is the facebook group a close group? Anyone know if people I’m friends with will see on their feed that I’ve joined?

[Author]

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