Hardly A Hive of Activity

[Andrea]

…*crickets*

[Sandra]

Hi Jack, I am out here. More people tend to participate in the forums than anywhere else. And the other secret it to keep being proactive yourself, and keep messaging people, although some people only message a couple of time then disappear.

[Sandra]

In also hold asexual meet-ups about every 3 months in the UK, in my city of Exeter, a couple of people stay in a hotel and I meet up with them the day before the meet.

[Kylee Whitehill]

I was seeing the same thing, but like Sandra said, I’m trying to be proactive on here…I’m really wanting to meet fellow asexuals!

[Anonymous]

I messaged quite a lot of members(men, I am gay) but most did not reply and the others after a couple of messages disappeared , as Sandra says….
Sad, but it is my experience

[Anonymous]

I tought myself to not try to force myself on others because of how people used to react if i take initiative. I’m afraid a lot of people think similar to me. So nothing happens at all.

[Lori C]

Isn’t part of the problem simply that there aren’t that many Aces?

[Andrea]

I wonder if being Ace is also correlated to be introverted? I know I am. If it’s true, that might explain the crickets. Any really extroverted Aces out there?

[Sandra]

Hi Andrea

Yes, I am an extrovert asexual. It would see there are a lot more asexuals who are introvert than extrovert. I have some introvert tendencies in the sense I spend a lot of time on my own working on my business stuff, but I still need to get out and about every 3/4 days. And I will approach asexual guys on here and other sites, for both asexual meet-ups, and any I am interested in more than that – for a potential relationship. Many don’t reply, or stop replying. I won’t give up, but also focusing on my career at the moment.

Sandra xx

[Rafael]

I guess most asexuals don’t know they are asexual since this orientation is not recognized by society. I guess one of the reasons is that most asexuals learn to have sexual relationships and just pretend to be heterosexual.

I noticed I was asexual when I didn’t react to anything back when I was 14-15 years old while all my friends were busy with porn. It’s true that asexuals are certainly a minority but unlike homosexuals our lack of drive makes us relatively “invisible”.

I don’t think that asexuality has any relationship with being introverted. I do not consider myself introverted, in fact I don’t think that people can be so easily categorized as either “introverted” or “extroverted”.

[Lori C]

Rafae1 –

“I guess one of the reasons . . . just pretend to be heterosexual.

Don’t forget that some women … just pretend to be homosexual. And it may not be that they are pretending or even subconsciously pretending, but they simply don’t know because they don’t have that drive or sexual attraction that would delineate their preference for men or women. I speak from experience on that point.

“… unlike homosexuals our lack of drive makes us relatively “invisible”.”

Not sure what you are saying here. Are you implying homosexuals are obviously sexual? Or obviously homosexual?

I agree that SOME people cannot be easily classified as introverted or extroverted, but those people that know they are one or the other definitively know.

[Dan]

A couple years ago, I had a brief email exchange with one of our most foremost experts and advocates Julie Sondra Decker (a.k.a. SwankIvy on YouTube) and asked her about aces and introversion. IIRC, she doesn’t think there is any correlation in the literature nor in her experience. Still, while I guess I should defer to her expertise, it still seems to me that there is a correlation. It seems that in nearly every (but not all) profiles on this and other asexuality sites, people self-identify as introverts. Friends think I’m outgoing and extroverted, but I don’t think I am. Then again, how others see us is often not how we see ourselves.

[Sharon]

I don’t think there’s a direct correlation, but I can see that sometimes asexuality and introversion can go hand-in-hand with some other stuff. Like, say, agoraphobia. Saw some folks in another ace environment who were agoraphobic. I reckon those folks are going to be ace and introverted, because those things are all part of the whole “just leave me the hell alone” package. But I don’t think that’s necessarily true of most aces.

[Meadow Rain]

Not many men here, but this group is better to chat with folks on the forums.
Also life happens so people write once every few months.
Not a bad group though

[Meadow Rain]

No most Asexuals are not introverted and certainly not a characteristic of being asexual . There are many other asexual groups that are a lot more lively, not many claim to be introverted.
It’s just that this is a more subdued group and people write when they can. because life happens. Maybe they are more active in life here.
I’m sure you will do the same.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by Meadow Rain.

[Tristan]

I believe you get what you put into something. If you want this site to become more popular, let other aces know to use it more often. I have found a lot of Aces to be introverts, which is understandable. I have also considered creating a meetup group here in my local area to find more Aces out there to socialize with. I love to enjoy life and I think there are other Aces out there that want to as well.

[Anonymous]

Did anyone say hive? 😀
Hi! *friendly wave*

[Tristan]

@Calmingrain, lol.

hello and welcome to the hive…or the lack of one.

[Vampyfox]

@Jack With such a good idea and unique, it is up to the people who run this site to market it properly, and considering it was an accident that I came upon it, it means they are not doing much.

Some of us here could post a link in our social media sites. After all, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Being asexual, doesn’t mean that is a permanent condition if one finds the partner being sought. And anymore, instead of being thought of as loose and ready for it, which seems to be how the general public are categorised…. to be the ones who hang back and don’t give themselves easily or freely, respect themselves and others more. To consider friendship initially the most important, even if not wanting anymore than that, takes away so much pressure.

We really need this behaviour and the asexual sites to go viral! At the moment it seems they are unique as I only know of one other, called; asexualcupid.com but that title sort of implies a love-life rather than a great friendship first or only.

[Vampyfox]

@Jack It seems people across the board, have interest to begin with, but lose that interest very quickly when serious questions appear. It’s not the same as making comments to a YouTube video, which doesn’t tax their brains. People can also come into a site give their name or username, a tiny bit more info, and forget to come back! That seems to be a lot of the problem. In this case, it looks as if there are more members on a site than actually are. I’ve have an interactive website, with a professional forum, which is very pretty and really fun to use. Completely FREE on registration. There is no upgrading, as memberships cover everything, so no hidden charges, no charges at all. It’s my fault nothing much is going on there right now, as I’ve been ill, and not marketed this fun place to visit. I’m not advertising it now either, but if anyone is interested in taking a peek, just contact me or leave a message. I don’t know yet if there is a Direct Messaging thing going on here or not.

An honest website ought to remind a member they haven’t been in for a while, and ask if they are still interested. Literally, remind them the site exists. I know some sites like ‘NUMBERS’ because it looks good, like when they BUY followers in Twitter, etc., But I prefer to keep only those who are active within a month, in a visible list. I am a professional writer, and in some writing sites, if we are going to disappear or be involved in work, or ‘LIFE’ as someone said on here, then we can write a comment in general to those we have been communicating with saying we might be gone for a little while. At least that means they are appreciating the site. Others might not think that matters, but I do!

If people do have this great, busy ‘life’ outside of the site they have joined, why are they on these sites to begin with? As for me, I do have a life, lol, but much of that is in writing and communicating, so once I have people to interact with, I can always find time to pop back and respond.

After all, if we register, we want to communicate, so WHY do some people just disappear after that, or not bother to fill in their profile after a goodly time to think about it? Many people I find, through having my interactive site as well as seeing this in other sites, just want to have their name in print, and don’t care if others are having to waste time scrolling past them to find active writers.

Yes, it annoys me. Best to have members come in knowing they are not wasting their time, and so a friendly online club-type atmosphere would be possible. Oh, yes, and moderation is so important, to keep it all flowing nicely. If Admin don’t respond to questions, they don’t care much about their members, and should be taking an interest in what happens in their sites. As I said before, MARKETING the site, is necessary by Admin. Keeping members happy is also needed.

No-one wants to flog a dead horse! Or visit a dead site. (Actually, how dare anyone flog a live horse!!) Yes, I am an animal activist and fund-raiser! I am not in good health, but darn it, I find the energy when needed, and hope to meet others on here who are ACTIVE! Aware? Alive? Anyone?

Anyone want to agree or disagree with me? Go ahead, at least we can talk about something.

[Author]

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