This topic contains 24 replies, has 21 voices, and was last updated by  Trina 5 years, 5 months ago.

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    Is anyone going to say something, or is this forum going to be the biggest, quietest Asexual forum ever??



    Nope! I think being able to just kiss and hug someone is the best~! Sex is dull but a little touching and romance just makes me feel so happy I could cry!

    Anyone else feel the same~~ <3 ?



    Hello!!! Happy holidays guys. Hopefully we’ll get more lively. I agree with you, England. I’ve also learned about myself that raw soulful connections give me more intimacy than sex. A previous love (he didn’t feel the same) and former roommate of mine made carpet angels with me one night and that memory is invaluable to me!!!



    I completely agree with the both of you. I feel so uncomfortable whenever getting close to having sex with someone. There are definitely other ways to be intimate with someone that are more meaningful.



    Good thinking all you lovely people I’ve worn the sex tee shirt and its nothing but pressure and hassle the intimacy of kissing, caressing, touching and discovering all those erogenous zones is truly wonderful.


    Alyce Horton

    I have never liked the idea of sex. My parents are frustrated by this. They want to have grand-kids eventually.



    Being gay I definitely don’t want sex. That activity makes me feel sick just thinking of it.



    Sex is pretty awkward and dull and irritating, I think. I figured I shouldn’t knock it ’til I tried it, but after trying it a few times, I still don’t really get what all the hype is about. I’m not completely repulsed by sex, though, and I love cuddling and affection, so I’m not sure if I actually am asexual or what. Can anyone clear that up for me?



    Sex can be about reaching a goal-orgasm, or it can also be about releasing tension, “getting some”, showing off, adding to a list of conquests, etc, etc-so many reasons that are self centered. It is supposed to be an act of giving love but alot of times it isn’t and I think that is what makes it uninterestibg.



    Marissa, asexual doesn’t necessarily mean that it repulses you, only that it doesn’t apeal to you. Just ask yourself — do you feel sexually attracted to anyone.. I’ve never been interested in sex, and the idea does kind of repulse me, but that’s me. Other aspects of a relationship do apeal to me, but I see no point in sex.



    Hey guys, I’m a new member, and I’ve only recently discovered my asexuality. I thought I was just frigid or that I simply hadn’t met the ONE! but then I got to thinking, hey… I’ve never actually had any sexual thoughts, fantasies, I don’t crave or want sex, ever! and I have never felt the thing they call sexual attraction. Now I feel so at peace that I have found others like me and I feel like I have finally found ME the real me.

    It’s funny because I went out today and I really tried to see if I could feel something for a man, but no matter how cute or handsome he was, there was just nothing, zilch, nada, nought, zero, nothing!

    I’m asexual, and it’s taken me 9 years to figure it out…
    better late than never lol.



    p.s I live for kisses and cuddles…



    Kisses and cuddles are something i love. Ive had so many people try to tell me that the most important thing in a relationship is sex, but i know that love and trust are, not sex. i get so mad when people try to tell me sex is the most important thing..



    Hello everyone,

    I’m new to the site and the group and just wanted to stop in and say hello.



    I felt the greatest sense of relief (and happiness) when I realized that if I find someone compatible I can have exactly the relationship I want—rather than trying to make myself want something I don’t. I’m totally into romance with men and I’m extremely sensual—I love all forms of touch—just not the sex kind.



    Hi Everyone! Playing devil’s advocate here 🙂 Do you think it is actually possible to find and maintain a romantic relationship without sex? I had an ex tell me that a relationship without sex was just a friendship and nothing more. Thoughts?



    Hi Caryanne

    That makes me fuming. Before I realised and found out that I am asexual, my own mum mocked me for in a phone conversation for not wanting sex in a relationship. Saying that all I wanted was a friendship, my dad was seemingly to agree. I too, am very sensual, and I do not kiss my ‘just friends’ passionately on the lips or want to feel their arms, stroke their face and hair. Thankfully, now she knows I am asexual she is a lot more understanding.




    Hi Sandra, Thank you for validating my own thoughts. There have been a few people in my life that don’t get this and I started to think there was something wrong with me for a while. I’m sorry you went through that with your parents but I’m glad they came around and are more accepting now.




    Without being devil’s advocate here: I genuinely believe it’s very possible to be in a relationship filled with love and passion, without ever having sex. What I cannot imagine is a relationship without intimacy. But intimacy is more than just sex. Intimacy can also include long tender kisses (which I find one of the most beautiful things in life, it’s so tender and such a powerful sign of how you feel), it can include being really close together so that you can feel each other’s heartbeat and breathing, it can be cuddling during a romantic film, walking hand in hand by the sea, sit next to my partner’s bed and read her poetry while outside it rains but she’s warm under the duvet and enjoying the intimacy of listening to that private poetry reading just for her, it can mean gently touching each other but without having intercourse, …

    Sex is a form of intimacy but intimacy is more than sex. I’m quite sure relationships can survive without sex as long as both are dedicated to each other and love each other with all their heart. Then I think all the love you share and all tender moments compensate the lack of sex totally.

    I must add the idea of sex is not totally a “never ever” for me. But the conditions are restricted: I don’t want to feel lust, I want to feel deep love. It should be an outing of deep love. Totally surrendering each other to one another, giving ourselves to each other. It should be very soft and tender. Just doing that one thing that you would never do with anyone except the one you trust 100% and with all your heart. I think it can be beautiful ; it is however sad some people are doing it just out of lust, which takes all romance away. Sex should be something special between two people totally dedicated to spending their lives together. Only in that context I can see some beauty in it. Also, this excludes all kinds of sexual outings that come out of lust instead of love: anal sex, threesomes, SM, … that’s not my cup of tea at all.

    I’m not against sex, however it frightens me. Maybe I’d feel different once I meet the girl of my dreams. But even then, I still strongly believe sleeping in each others arms, tender kisses, and gently cuddling, are just as meaningful and beautiful. So sex is optional, but I would never want to push to get it. I can see myself be happy without it, as long as those other forms of intimacy are present.



    I’m also new to discovering what my sexual orientation is after decades of struggling and wondering what is wrong with me or feeling so different and alone. I’ve never thought of sex as something I desire and haven’t found anyone to relate to in our highly sexualized society. I long for someone to be my best friend and my lover without sex. I find all genders equal, it’s the affection, attention, love, dedication, partnership and bond that I seek but have never found. It’s rare whereas sex is boring and uninteresting. It’s more effort to love and be vulnerable with someone amazing. I want that.

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