[Von]

Say you met someone – on here or through another service – and you got on fantastically. They, like you, don’t want sex or kids. If you got together your costs would go down and you’d always have someone ready and eager to go globe-trotting with you (or breed killer fish, whatever floats your boat).

How far would you go to get it? Would you move? Change jobs? Ask *them* to?

[Tommi]

It really all depends. For me I’d have to be madly in love and completely trust them both making such a decision. I still have my siblings who I’m extremely close too if they support me it would be great!

[Von]

Fair enough.

Love isn’t an issue for me but I think the level of commitment my job requires would be a big one. My family and I and scattered over the four winds so there’s nothing else anchoring me!

[Angel]

I’m a very impulsive person, so whenever I get opportunities, I pack my bags and do whatever, so it wouldn’t be that much of a challenge for me, personally. Given my lifestyle, I find that I’m pretty flexible in almost all areas. If I could have all my general living means met, most likely I would be the one to make major changes. It depends of the conditions I’m in. I doubt I would have any standard issue, although it would be best if we lived in a more doable circumstance.

Although I do believe moving for a relationship can be very damaging. I mean that in terms of “just”. I always say, if you are going to move, you need 3 reasons as to why would you be happy there if you were alone. A person works best when they are a bonus, regardless what they are in your life.

[Von]

Good point, Angel. I’ve seen relationships where one partner travels a lot for work and the other is miserable because their surroundings hold no interest for them at all.

Having one person be the centre of your life has always struck me as vaguely creepy too.

My three things would probably be environs, job potential and distance to nearest major city. Any place too hot, dry or rural would drive me round the bend. 😛

[Tommi]

True its like the media and tv shows make a person/love interest the center of your life when in reality there is so much more. I guess for me I need to know if I can still connect with those I love, have a social life/network of support and fell safe and love in the place. If that fits then of course I would follow my love to where they are. Maybe we could just move to an entirely new location together to start over.

[Rin]

For me, I’m used to picking up and moving being a military brat, and not being in close proximity to family, so I don’t think I’d personally have a problem moving to be with someone. But It’s definitely not something I would do impulsively. It would depend on how much of a connection I had with the person, how healthy the decision seems on both sides (I agree that relationships where the couple are each others worlds and they seem unable to live without the other are off-putting), if I was done with school, where exactly we’d be going, the job market, etc.

I rush into things pretty often, but something like this I wouldn’t want to risk it.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have much problems to change somethings in my life for someone, maybe the only thing that I wouldn’t is give up of my career, that is a important part of me. I love what I do, so I just change my job if I feel that I have a great connection with this person.

[Mark]

I probably wouldn’t.

[Alicemarie]

It all depends. Here I have my family so it would take a lot of love for me to move.

[Anonymous]

I’m use to back packing and just leaving when things get to stressful so i’d certainly consider it no matter what the risks.

[Von]

What kind of stress sends you backpacking?

I went backpacking once. Couldn’t stand shared showers and dorm rooms. 😀 Stopped really quickly. 😀

[Anonymous]

I think stressful is the wrong word, bored maybe? Either way i need to get out of the house every so often

I’m guessing you’ve never stayed in the French Alps? No shower pr plumbing. The toilet was a hole in the ground and the living arrangements was basically 200 guys in one big bed lol.

[Von]

Hah, no! 😀 I love the freedom apparent in that situation but I myself could not manage anything that didn’t involve plumbing and single-occupancy. 😉

[Ani]

It depends. I first would want virtually daily communication to see if we get along really well and remain as such. The next step is visiting each other. As distance makes us separated a lot, we cannot afford to just meet a few times a week for a drink like most couples do. We’d need to travel and spend the whole holiday together, only that way we’d get to learn each other as well as other couples do on a slower pace.

If the feelings for her have not changed, I’d be happy to move. I have already lived abroad in 6 countries other than my native Belgium. Feeling at home is something you got in your own control often enough. Meeting “the one” is rare. So I would not hesitate and do whatever it takes to be with her.

[Von]

Interesting, Ani. 🙂 I never thought of it in terms of ‘the one’ (mostly because I don’t believe in such a thing).

I agree that picking up sticks and moving would require some degree of certainty first. I would probably see how the friendship/companionship develops online first and if it seems to click, budget in a week or two visit to the other person when them also taking a week or two off so we could do a ‘practice run’ of hooning around.

[Ani]

Yeah, that’s the way to go. Couples grow closer to each other and friendship becomes love, usually gradually. If you are not in the position that you can see each other every week a few times, it’s a matter of staying in touch as often as you can, even daily is OK. Skype, email, SMS, … anything that can give the feeling he/she is near. When it truly feels right, go on a holiday together. Seeing each other every single day for 2 weeks may sound a lot, but that way you can catch up and learn to know each other intensively, only you do it by being together all the time during a short period of time (instead of regular meetings like most couples do). I think that way, long distance can be bypassed. If that holiday felt nice, then I would begin to start packing and go for it, if she wants the same. I would definitely never prefer a specific soil under my feet instead of a person I sincerely love. Home at that moment is whatever place she is in.

[Von]

^ I agree except for the love thing. 😉 I don’t understand romantic people… ^_^

[Kai]

I’m not comfortable with the idea of moving purely to be with another person, either. The right partner for me would be someone who is also interested in frequent travel and relocation – ideally to similar destinations or general regions of the world, but if not, it would be a temporary parting and after some period of time we’d end up back in the same place again.

Partnerships are about helping each other thrive better and more authentically together, not having one person sacrifice things or goals that are important to them for the other person. If that needs to happen, it’s a compatibility red flag. I mean, unless sacrificing yourself for a partner is a part of what’s important to you in life. But I tend to not have very many people like that around me….

[Von]

Couldn’t agree more. “Mutually Beneficial” should be the official motto of all marriages/formal partnerships.

[Author]

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