Getting Started – Hi!

[Ali]

Hello, All new on here and to forums generally. I’m not sure how this all works but thought post here instead of ‘contact us’ button. I see different people have different amounts of info. How do you add more? Can you just get chatting in groups and discussions? Be great to hear from people and say hello too! Happy Thursday!

[Anonymous]

Hi =)

[Ali]

Hello, All good?

[Anonymous]

Hi. I am Ruby. I’m new to this world and was pretty much in denial until recent relationship made me realise that I don’t like anything beyond cuddling and kissing really. I am a romantic and hoping to make like minded friends and relationship. 🙂 hope you have a great day.

[Ali]

Hi Ruby 🙂 Yes I’m new too. I only realised recently too. big relief normal.

[Anonymous]

Oh dear, hello fronds. I’m new here and pretty excited. I’ve made the surprisingly emotion filled realisation about being a romantic ace about a year and a half ago but only now decided to push myself to talk to the outside world about it. All because of my super-understanding family’s constant support. Aaaaah okay I’ll calm down, nice to meet you all!

[Ali]

Hi Justin,
I know what you mean I got all excited. It does take a little courage and well done to you and all of us to get here! Nice to meet you too 🙂

[Thistlene]

Hello all, I recently realized with my therapist that I am asexual. Yeah….That was an awkward, very open conversation. However, it’s good for me to stop wondering where I stand in the sexual preference spectrum at last! I don’t even like kissing beyond a peck on the cheek, and hugging can be iffy. I’m reeeaaaallllyyy asexual and my OCD doesn’t help. To laugh, I should have realized years ago that I was asexual, since I didn’t even have a relationship until I was 20. Should have been obvious, huh?

[Linda]

Hi. I’m new and I love being ace. Just wish the rest of the world was as aware of us. Something I’m confused about with signing up– why the dichotomies with respect to my gender and what gender I am seeking as a mate? I don’t get it. I’m biromantic.

[Ali]

Hello Emillee and Linda. Good to meet you 🙂

I kinda wondered the same Linda, Not sure I’m biromantic but it would be good to be able to put that.

I think that is great EMilee that you worked through it with a therapist. I was too scared to bring up sexuality with a therapist as I thought it would be too hard. Nothing is obvious especially if not ready to see it lol Then it is lol

Hope we can all share and chat 🙂

[Anonymous]

Yass, it’s nice to be meeted! Thanks Ali.
You are one tough cookie Emilee. I could only bring up the ace card after all my own personal research and coming out to my immediate family. Regardless welcome to the family.
I was just as confused as the rest of you about some of the sign up choices. It seems like no matter what type of dating or forum sign-up there is almost always the most simplified gender-binary selections. I just chalk it up to simplicity in programming, considering the profile is probably the first thing to be worked on. Then again I’m probably talking out of my own butt. Shrug. Least we can talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Hi, I hope everything is going well to everyone 🙂
It’s good to know that many of you who have had realize you’re asexual are fine with it, I think is always hard to understand what’s going on with us, especially when we have been in a relatinship and discovers that kisses and hugs are our limit (or even not any of that)
As for myself, well, I’m a irremediably romantic. Netflix and chill, in the most literally way possible x3

Oh gosh, I’m agree with Ali, it would be great to chat in group or something

[Ali]

I never thought about that Justin, it is the programme not the people working the programme.
What have others found by talking to friends and family? Have you told friends and family? I haven’t spoken to family about it as we don’t really talk about relationship stuff. I think my parents worry it is their fault I’m on my own. I did blame them at one point lol but not now and hard to discuss when we aren’t a family that discuss such things. Plus I don’t think they will get or that it will matter. I think this could be something to take to therapy lol I’ve told a few friends. A couple of them really didn’t get it and think I will change once I meet someone and that it is about not having a good sexual experience means once I do I will join them in the obsession! I did think of asking if they are going to change their sexual orientation lol Not their fault they don’t get it. Others have been great and happy for me as now I know what is going on and join in the hope with me to find someone.

Karen, I hope we continue chatting too. So nice when do get to chat 🙂

Happy Friday everyone! Any weekend plans?

[Anonymous]

Telling people….it’s tough. Honestly it might seem like it’s easier than coming out as gay because the result at face value just doesn’t sound as ground breaking. Its tough because you often have to bare your soul just a bit longer than you want just to explain it right…when it seems like something most won’t take it seriously.
But….I guess that was a random Justin rant that we all knew too well…..KEEPING IT!
I’m actually warming up to add my own story to the “Tell us your personal story” bin. But the cliffnotes is that my family was actually really cool about it. Even if my mom forgot the term after and called me amorphic(my true form….IS NO FORM). Other than that I’ve only told some long time online buddies and one girl at work that….I mostly said so I wasn’t her next hopeless romance. Not…my type for sure. But there are a few others at work I wish I had the confidence to bring it up. Its tough.

I work in retail so weekends are when I work the most. Hope you all have a good time though.

[Ali]

Yeah I see what you mean. Asexuality not being really known about makes it harder as yep there is some explanation added though I feel I’m the last to know about it lol quite funny seeing blank faces sometimes then I explain, sometimes still blank.

Love the rants! that’s what we need more of. I’m finding it difficult to get conversation going on here. Not so bad for private messaging. Even the ‘Tell your story…’ the last one was a month ago and no real discussion. This chat is doing pretty well.

What do people want from this site? Dating only and/or friendship? Opinions please

Enjoy work Justin!

[Anonymous]

The mindsets of “its not as big of a deal as coming out as gay” or “maybe they will be relieved I’m not some sex-craved lunatic” may not exactly hold true or be be entirely fair to yourself…..but they were small crutches that helped me motivate myself to finally bring it goto the family. As someone who struggles deeply with communication because of social anxiety problems, I take what I can get to fight off those jitter bugs. Some….maybe advice? I know I’m still on your question from a few posts ago Ali…guess I think coming out to the family is pretty important. Shrug maybe my scattered words from my meager experience can help someone.

Friends, I want ALL THE FRIENDS! I signed up to read and share experiences and meet some class A weirdos like me. Laughing at dumb jokes and stuff. Though I guess I’d be lying if that was all I said. I’m technically a romantic ace but for now I might put that on the back burner while I work on understanding and improving myself. So yeah..FRIONDS!

I got to stop doing these so late, I get too wordy. But how about you Ali..your question back atcha.

[Ali]

I get the social anxiety. I used to suffer when younger. I used alcohol to help. Not actually helpful lol kept me away from me. Though I have got through it and see me for me. It wasn’t just about sexuality, never about one thing lol Still have anxieties but I have ways of coping now and don’t live in constant worry mode! I’ve had talk therapy CBT, and use mindfulness, self help books like ‘you can heal your life’ by Louise Hay. Being more present has helped me both mentally and physically. Feel free to ask anything and always listen. anxiety is a hard one and I do find that people don’t think about it which then sets it off. Rude! However we don’t remember everything about people and people do forget. I’ve now done training in Mindfulness teaching skills, I’ve completed the beginnings of counselling skills and doing a degree in Psychology with counselling. Helps my own self growth both mentally and academically.

I do agree that ‘coming out’ to family is important I’m just not sure how to bring it up as not something we discuss. Rather than create more anxiety or trying to plan when to say something, I trust that when the time has come I can share. I’ve been single for a long time so it is normal anyway now. Though I hope to change it 🙂

Leading nicely to the next part. I’m looking for a both. I’d love to find a loving relationship yet knowing I’ll have to be a little patient I hope to find some friends I can connect with. I’m not a complete loner but I do enjoy time on my own in my flat. I’d like to get out more but still working on that, some anxiety being an introvert and not sure what to do. I’d love to learn to dance. It’s a group thing which is a bit scary. I got on here so there is hope!

Keep on dancing!

[Twilight Clarke]

Hello Everyone ^^ New to this site, and to finding out I’m ace and while I do love being ace.. ( great to finally know that I’m normal and there are others out there ^o^ ) but like the others before me, I wish there was more awareness! Especially when I tell people, and they think it’s about plant reproduction. >:( Surprise! Words can have different meanings.

[Anonymous]

Hi Clarke, welcome to our little side of of the internet. I am right there with you. If I’m compared to a starfish one more time…….I’m just going to laugh it off like usual and cry to myself. That being said more awareness would also mean less people running around not knowing where they belong as well. I mean…..it was a push for awareness on Tumblr that first got me to look into it all.

You know what Ali? I have heard of the mindfulness thing before but I wrote it off as someone trying to say, “anxiety troubles? Just think your problems away!” think I will be giving it another chance seeing as it is popping up more and more.

Dancing huh? You are certainly courageous, but I think I’m with you on that one. I just had a short period of time before I understood my diner quirks where I seriously forced myself out to clubs with friends as an attempt to “fix” both my issues with overly crowded places and personal space issues. Not a good idea, only filled me with dread really. And yet, still dancing seems fun.

[Ali]

Hey there Twilight! Good to meet you. I’m with you with the finally feeling normal!! Great feeling I was so excited I was jumping around the room for a days and smiling lots lol to myself of course.

It is so funny how words have different meanings. Not sure how much awareness is out there. I’d love to do something or join it but actually I have some fear of it too. I spent a lot of time trying to ‘fit in’ and though I accept it I’m not sure I’m ready for the world to know yet. As said I’ve told a few people. I may have a look about awareness.

I love that there is so many different ways of looking at mindfulness. I’m doing some intro workshops at work in May, if you like Justin and if can work timings out I could practice with you and you can find out more over skype and others could join in if like? I’m still writing the slides but if like to then you can have more of an idea. It is more accepting thoughts that ‘thinking them away’ Let me know if interested. It’s only 30 mins and then questions 🙂

Yes I love music and can disappear in it when dancing but never really gone for it and not sure can at the moment. Got a lot of debt and I know it is an excuse as still scared too lol be nice not to do the drunk clubby stuff but really dance.

I use the whole dancing things as a life metaphor. Life is a dance. I’ve just finished the drunk dancing and feel I’m on the sides, foot tapping with a sway at the moment lol I don’t like rollercosters so saying about life being a rollercoster isn’t much fun. I’m aiming for a waltz to glide through life and then get some swing and jive it to be more bouncy and fun!

Happy Monday all!

[Author]

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