What are your limits?

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    I’ve been curious how common grays like me are.

    Just wondering what are all of your limits when it comes to “stimulated love”
    How far is everybody comfortable with?


    Hugs and cuddling with clothes on, small kisses (no tongue).


    I am unsure. Cuddling and kissing is for sure not a problem, touches aren’t neither (not sure about intimate touching but I think it wouldn’t be a problem) ; as for real sex it may be possible only with someone I’m really in love with, but I am unsure. My fears for anything sexual are rooted quite deeply, but maybe with the right person those walls could be broken down. I’m unsure. Let’s say for now that touching, kisses and cuddling are definitely OK ; anything else is unsure.


    Anything that doesn’t involve the reproductive organs I’m ok with; if by some chance I end up married to a sexual person (unknowingly), I’d put up with mating but that’s pretty much it (I believe in marriage you sometimes have to make sacrifices). I hope I never have to face that decision though.


    Hi Yura, I don´t think you should put up with sex for a long time if you do not want to have sex. Sexuals want more than just someone who tolerates sex, they want to feel desired sexually, they want someone who is into sex, who wants to try new things… It genuinely scares me. I surely can´t tolerate any form of sex, I would start to hate my partner for hurting me so horrible way.


    I understand what you’re saying Lenka, but I’m just saying that I would if I happened to be in that situation. I’ve read a few other posts of yours, and I understand that marriage isn’t the same for you as it is in my perspective. For me marriage is a very sacred thing. While I won’t intentionally marry a sexual person, people can change; I believe you must understand this to be married. As long as they don’t change in a way that is contrary to your personal beliefs (not preferences), then one should try to support their partner as best they can.

    From what I understand of sexual people, it is hard for them to live without it completely. So, if my partner developed an increased libido it may be very difficult for him to abstain from adultery. As his life partner, I should put aside my personal preferences to accomodate him, in my opinion. And, for myself personally that is ok – I don’t fear mating, only despise it (partially unjustly even, I realize). What is really to be despised is how society has warped it through pornography, and other methods. Sex has just become another form of mind control. Aside from despising it, I have no desire for it either; there may be a causal relationship there, I don’t know. But, to give in to my husband would just be like eating shrimp (I dislike shrimp) for me… I can fake a smile well enough if I don’t have to do it that often. 😉 What’s most important is that I’d be doing it for someone I love, and I’m sure they would appreciate my efforts. I mean, they’d better. xD But, I will say it again, I will not knowingly marry a sexual person!!

    Life advice here: Make sacrifices only after you are married (or in a committed relationship), Never before.

    And, a final point, there are some ‘sexual’ things I wouldn’t put up with. Things that go beyond dislike to being things that I feel are wrong (in whatever form), are not things I would compromise. I just wanted to make sure that was clear.


    Intercourse is a NO for me.
    I love kissing and cuddling.( I’ll be the little spoon.)
    I would fall in love with a master of massages, since I suffer from back pain due to my job.
    I would rather avoid external sexuAl play.
    But like Yura said, if I was in a long term committed relAtionship or married and my partner wanted to try something new, I would consider it.
    But intercourse will always be a NO.

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Kim.
    • This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Kim.
    • This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Kim.

    I agree with Kim. Intercourse is a definate no but I am ok with anything that doesn’t involve and sort of penetration be it Intercourse or even fingers.
    I am a tactile person though and I do enjoy cuddling xx


    I have a Low sex drive but everything up to intercourse can be okay if I’m in the mood and feel comfortable with the person I’m with.


    I love cuddling and kissing; I’m okay with doing things to a partner (if I really like and trust them) but I preferably (very preferably) want nothing sexual being done to me.


    I’m on the same page as Lynn. I don’t prefer performing any acts on a partner, but if we are together I don’t want anything done to me. If I end up with someone, I could do sexual things with them as long as they know that I don’t want me focused on at all. I wouldn’t love the situation but if I loved a person, I could compromise.

    Abby Long

    I’m pretty much a no go with everything sexual. I like to cuddle, hold hands and sit close. That’s about it.

    Jazmine Rose

    I’m semi-asexual, so I’m okay with most things leading up to sex – even touching and kissing intimate parts, particularly since I like to feel desired and lusted after. However, once actual penetration starts, I enjoy it only for a limited period of time and lose interest – and want to revert to cuddling and touching.

    Pedro Frazao

    Jazmine, I believe the feeling desired, sexually or not, is the best part of the relationship.
    The desire to kiss, to hug, to tease, to be together, to miss the other person.
    Everyone is a little different but its nice to feel wanted, whehter or not sex is involved.

    Misha Anastasia

    I love cuddling, hugging, holding hands, anything intimate that ISN’T sex. Closed mouth kisses on the lips are fine but I prefer kisses elsewhere. I’m a very affectionate person but I just don’t get what’s so great about tongue kissing let alone actual sex?

    I sort of get the liking attention thing. I like to be admired but not desired. Once someone starts showing signs of wanting me physically I get uncomfortable.


    Gosh. I can tolerate sexual intercourse, but only just, and then I forget everything that happened during it. (LOL) I guess as long as I don’t have to go through that, I can put up with everything else with a brave front. But it is not my thing!


    Hello. I dabbled in this site several years ago but I was never very active so I’m attempting to push myself into new territory. I’m not tech savvy so I apologize if this is an incorrect post.


    I’m complicated. Sheesh. First even touching myself bores me hahahaha and….Unless I deeply bond with you emotionally I can’t even touch you. It grosses me out the moment I even get that sex vibe. Even makes me angry because everyone around me feels so grabby and desperate to have sex. But if I do bond deeply through friendship and we can laugh and have fun respectfully then I love the snuggles, holding hands, compassion, and being physically close but without the gropy hands to sexual inter course. In marriage it was a duty and I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I hated it. But I always tried to fit in. I just found out 5 years ago who I am and now at 50 years of age I’m owning it! There is nothing wrong with me. Been alone a long time keeping it all to myself. Can’t have men for friends and even the women are weird. So I have no friends lol. I think I might make a friend here that understands and I won’t feel so alone. Men and woman alike. 🙂

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