What are your limits?

This topic contains 9 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Lynn 2 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #3955

    John
    Participant

    I’ve been curious how common grays like me are.

    Just wondering what are all of your limits when it comes to “stimulated love”
    How far is everybody comfortable with?

    #3981

    Lenka
    Participant

    Hugs and cuddling with clothes on, small kisses (no tongue).

    #4125

    Ani
    Participant

    I am unsure. Cuddling and kissing is for sure not a problem, touches aren’t neither (not sure about intimate touching but I think it wouldn’t be a problem) ; as for real sex it may be possible only with someone I’m really in love with, but I am unsure. My fears for anything sexual are rooted quite deeply, but maybe with the right person those walls could be broken down. I’m unsure. Let’s say for now that touching, kisses and cuddling are definitely OK ; anything else is unsure.

    #4275

    Anonymous

    Anything that doesn’t involve the reproductive organs I’m ok with; if by some chance I end up married to a sexual person (unknowingly), I’d put up with mating but that’s pretty much it (I believe in marriage you sometimes have to make sacrifices). I hope I never have to face that decision though.

    #4288

    Lenka
    Participant

    Hi Yura, I don´t think you should put up with sex for a long time if you do not want to have sex. Sexuals want more than just someone who tolerates sex, they want to feel desired sexually, they want someone who is into sex, who wants to try new things… It genuinely scares me. I surely can´t tolerate any form of sex, I would start to hate my partner for hurting me so horrible way.

    #4294

    Anonymous

    I understand what you’re saying Lenka, but I’m just saying that I would if I happened to be in that situation. I’ve read a few other posts of yours, and I understand that marriage isn’t the same for you as it is in my perspective. For me marriage is a very sacred thing. While I won’t intentionally marry a sexual person, people can change; I believe you must understand this to be married. As long as they don’t change in a way that is contrary to your personal beliefs (not preferences), then one should try to support their partner as best they can.

    From what I understand of sexual people, it is hard for them to live without it completely. So, if my partner developed an increased libido it may be very difficult for him to abstain from adultery. As his life partner, I should put aside my personal preferences to accomodate him, in my opinion. And, for myself personally that is ok – I don’t fear mating, only despise it (partially unjustly even, I realize). What is really to be despised is how society has warped it through pornography, and other methods. Sex has just become another form of mind control. Aside from despising it, I have no desire for it either; there may be a causal relationship there, I don’t know. But, to give in to my husband would just be like eating shrimp (I dislike shrimp) for me… I can fake a smile well enough if I don’t have to do it that often. 😉 What’s most important is that I’d be doing it for someone I love, and I’m sure they would appreciate my efforts. I mean, they’d better. xD But, I will say it again, I will not knowingly marry a sexual person!!

    Life advice here: Make sacrifices only after you are married (or in a committed relationship), Never before.

    And, a final point, there are some ‘sexual’ things I wouldn’t put up with. Things that go beyond dislike to being things that I feel are wrong (in whatever form), are not things I would compromise. I just wanted to make sure that was clear.

    #26036

    Kim
    Spectator

    Intercourse is a NO for me.
    I love kissing and cuddling.( I’ll be the little spoon.)
    I would fall in love with a master of massages, since I suffer from back pain due to my job.
    I would rather avoid external sexuAl play.
    But like Yura said, if I was in a long term committed relAtionship or married and my partner wanted to try something new, I would consider it.
    But intercourse will always be a NO.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  Kim.
    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  Kim.
    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  Kim.
    #29489

    Jeanette
    Spectator

    I agree with Kim. Intercourse is a definate no but I am ok with anything that doesn’t involve and sort of penetration be it Intercourse or even fingers.
    I am a tactile person though and I do enjoy cuddling xx

    #30849

    Jason Tillman
    Participant

    I have a Low sex drive but everything up to intercourse can be okay if I’m in the mood and feel comfortable with the person I’m with.

    #30932

    Lynn
    Participant

    I love cuddling and kissing; I’m okay with doing things to a partner (if I really like and trust them) but I preferably (very preferably) want nothing sexual being done to me.

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