[SugarRush]

Okay I am putting an end to the sound of the crickets and saying HELLO! to everyone here. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Hello!

[SugarRush]

Well thanks! That echo was bouncing around for days. 🙂

[Cara]

Hello!

[Prana]

Right–Happy Winter Solstice!

I’m new to this idea of Grey-A…are there alot of people who identify as hypo-sexual? I’m assuming this is my situation, I haven’t had a romantic relationship for many years. Some unrequited ‘crushes’ along the way, but I had to put those on a shelf as they were impossible to act on due to a lack of reciprocity, etc. Now I’m not sure I can feel attracted to anyone at all as it’s just all too much intensity for me after long periods of going it on my own.

[SugarRush]

I hope you had a Happy Winter Solstice Prana.

I don’t know stats-wise if a lot of people identify as hypo-sexual. For you though, being “not sure” rules out certainty, which leaves room for the potential for you to be attracted to someone. Perhaps there is a way for you to reduce the intensity that you feel.

Have a Happy New Year!

[Nicole Bent]

Hello! I honestly was completely unfamiliar with the term Gray-A, instead of just saying asexual. But reading the definition of it made me have a bit of a ‘oh fuck man that’s totally me how do they know’ moment. So it was very lovely to find this group.

[Stacey]

Hi!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Whoever thought up this Group provided an answer to a question that has puzzled me for years. I suspect from reading the definitions of asexual that i’m not black and white asexual – ie i occasionally get turned on as it were, feel mild sexual attraction to one one off guy, am not completely repulsed by sex if my partners have been straight sexual types i’ve been willing to give them sex, to make them happy, but it doesn’t affect me, other then i love this person, so am happy to give it to them, but but i’m indifferent, not interested in it at all.

But I do like affection and romantic love is a thing i’m very keen on, i like cuddling and kissing, sleeping with (literally) my significant other, spending time together. I only want one mate, to spend myu life with. But i don’t want sex to play a part at all except if my man needed it or i wanted a child, have no interest so unless if find this one person, that agrees with similar ‘desires’ as me, i’m happy and content to be single and independent, with no need for sex or a sexual relationship. Just doesn’t interest or feature in my life other then the odd in the moment, over in 5 minutes type of thing.

Hope this makes sense, as as soon as I read the descriptions of Grey A, i knew it was me! :-). Explained everything and resolved all my questions!!

[SugarRush]

Excellent Grayaces great when you can find a place that fits.

[Stephanie]

Heyhihello!

[Anonymous]

Hi.
i’m a Heteromantic Demisexual.
it’s nice to find a place where people get how you feel honestly, because where i live i don’t have anyone that truly understands, i do have supportive friends but they don’t really get it 🙁
where i live throwing yourself into relationships and having sex all the time is the norm and when i try to express that that’s not how i feel then people look at me like i’m crazy and wierd.
And i haven’t met anyone at home that feels the same as i do.
I haven’t told a lot of people that i’m Demisexual because they wouldn’t understand :(.
I am lucky enough to have my best friend that lives in England, she gets how i feel and she’s supportive, which is so nice but i would like to talk to someone who feels the same as i do.

[SugarRush]

Welcome! Good that you have that friend in England…no one will look at you like you’re “crazy and weird” here 🙂

[Anonymous]

yeah it’s awesome, it’s like having a sister in a different country.
i’m happy to hear that 🙂

[Anonymous]

Hey. I’ve only recently become aware that I am gray-a, and after much research and talking to close friends, it’s the most honest thing that describes me.
I’m glad there’s a group here (and website) that’s friendly and welcoming. It’s a nice change from the inside of my mind thinking that people would judge me off the bat for my age. I hope everyone stays positive!

[Anonymous]

Hi guys,

up until this week I never fully understood the term asexual – I just assumed it was either gender who had no attraction in any shape or form with another person and that they didn’t have love relationships because of that. I thought I was just gay with deeply inbedded sexual hang ups, lol. Sometimes I thought, maybe there is a possibility I am asexual? But hang on, if you’re not attracted to people full stop, how the hell can you be a gay asexual? Then I found the term demi-sexual then it led to a whole raft of information on the entire subject of asexuality. And I learnt A LOT of things. Especially about myself. Especially the part that asexual folks DO have love relationships but with the traditional sex life removed. To me that sounds like the perfect relationship. I can’t tell you how stressful it was for me to have to make myself go out and meet people, especially other gay women, knowing most are sexually wired up in the context of the collective ‘norm’ expected from intimate relationships. I am 39 yrs old and have never had a sexual relationship. The idea just freaks me out. I put it down to things happening in the past. It has caused me deep depression over the years since I was a teenager because in the last 10 years I had come to realize having a close companion would be a wonderful thing but the sex aspect of the relationship just froze me up. So, I naturally thought I’m a gay screw up. Its only recently I can actually say ‘yes, I’m gay’ without shrivelling up with shame. I always thought I was scared of intimacy in a relationship and so I would never have one. But, then fully understanding the concept of what asexuality is and the fact it covers all sexual identities makes me feel less of a failure. The idea of a relationship with sex was hugely stressful so I have avoided it at all costs but now I know its possible of having a love relationship without sex and there are other people out there fine with it makes me breathe a sigh of relief. Its made me realize I’m not scared of intimacy at all, in fact an asexual relationship sounds beautiful. It was the sexual aspect that caused me no end of overstrung nerves. So, in a strange way, I now feel a little liberated! Though, I do have to come to terms with the fact the already tiny gay/lesbian pool has just about shrivelled up to a mere droplet, lol!! Anyway, I’m glad I found this place 🙂

[SugarRush]

Hey Rose and Mystic-Kite Flyer, thanks for sharing.
Nice to find pieces of the puzzle that fits.

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone,

I’m new to the site and the group…so just stopping in to say hello.

[Anonymous]

I recently came to terms with my with the fact that I’m a hetero grey/demisexual, I guess I have always had difficulty with physical intimacy early in a relation; hence why I have never had a relationship last longer than a few weeks. I don’t really know what shade of grey I actually am since my sex life is non-existent, but I just conclude that I’m the normal one and everyone else is the sex crazed maniac. While family and friends try or pretend to understand they don’t quite seem to get it, and being single doesn’t seem to get any easier with age as those around me have children or have a steady relationship. So I guess my number one reason I joined this site was to feel a little less alone in this awkward journey.

[gemma]

Hello hello hello

[Catherine A]

Hi I’m new, demisexual heteromantic. How is everyone?!

[Author]

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