Why did I bother paying a membership fee

[Rachel Harrington]

Sorry for the moan but I am here because I want to meet someone as this is supposidely a dating so (reluctantly) paid the membership and am now wondering why I bothered. I suspect no on else has and now I just feel like a fool. I bet no one will reply to this either. I mean why bother joining a site like this and not paying the fee when you cant even send a sodding message or probably read one back. Its hard enough find a partner when your asexual in the first place without joining a site in the hope of meeting someone and then 99.9% of people dont bother. Sorry just seriously hacked off about it 🙁

[Lyss]

Nah, dude, i totally understand.
I’m in the same boat here. It doesn’t help that I know I’ll probably not use this site after a month. Plus Ireland has like a total of 12 people signed up and none of them are anywhere near me. I could’ve spent this money on something else, y’know?

But hey, at least we can make forum posts!!

[Sandra]

I totally get where you are coming from. I have been a member since the early days when there was less than 5000 people, so fortunately I do not have to pay.

I also want a serious relationship with a heteroromantic foreign guy but it seems most ace guys do not make the effort, either that or I am not what they are looking for and they just don’t want to say.

I have a new Facebook dating group I set up for aces who want to date without sex http://www.facebook.com/groups/acexualisedating

[Ronald Sims]

I understand. I just came to this site, but it’s hard to find someone who is actually close to what you want. I want someone I can talk and cuddle with, sans sex of course. Also preferable near here. Asexuals are 1% of the population, so it is hard to find another person already. I hope I find some luck on here though!

[Rachel Harrington]

Thanks for the replies. I am already fed up and depressed about being single so came here with a tiny spark of hope about meeting someone. Only sent a few messages so far but wondering if there is any point messaging anyone else. Even just to have people to talk to would be nice really

[Sandra]

Hi Rachel

It’s tough going on this site, I am not going to lie, but I am an extrovert and most are introverts. I am proactive rather than reactive. I won’t give up but thank goodness I like my single life too. I find people talk more in the forums than one-to-one so you may have more luck in that respect.

Sandra

[Anonymous]

I feel very much the same. This is how it always goes for me. Unfortunately, I find it hard to strike up conversations online so I’m part of the problem really! It’s not that I don’t want a relationship, it’s that I lack the courage to reach out. I’m okay in person, but I find communication difficult online, oddly.

[Mareen]

Well, I don’t have much hope of finding a partner anyway, but I figured not signing up would do even less to ever get to that goal, so I decided to join. Eventually, I paid the fee in the hopes of improving communication.
Even if I’m in the minority, I’m grateful this site exists and supporting it seemed like a good idea. If nobody pays, they’ll probbably shut it down, and then we all may stay single forever (which we probably will either way, but still).

[Andrew Logue]

Hmm.

Im not so bothered. I paid the $15 for a year membership.

I know other dating/memberships require a $7-$15 Per Month Membership Scheme so compared to other websites its a full bargin.

So paying $15 is like the price of a mcdonalds meal or something for a full year. I guess you cant complain too much.

Yea this site is dead, hard to navigate, hard to search for matches.

I think I sent over 20, greeting messages just to say hello to get to know people and I think only one or two responded.

But I will give this site credit, it different in terms of user interface, I guess with a bit of tweaking and maybe a big overhaul it could be made into something better.

Perhaps with a chat room feature, and better forum navigating etc.

I prefer Ace-Book, what I dont understand is why Ace-Book isnt as popular as it should be. The AVEN website seems to be the most popular, but OMG its so boring with too much Forum Posts, its like a Library more about information rather than dating and matchmaking. I just wish Ace-Book was as popular as AVEN.

Im going to a meetup in Edinburgh Next Month hopefully, might make some friends.

Anyways Im going offtopic,

I dont mind $15 for a year membership, its like the price of a pizza, cant complain about that sorry.

[Andrew Logue]

What I really dislike about this website, and think is difficult for Asexualitic is that this website is broken down into ‘Groups’. And Each ‘Group’ Has its own forum which its ‘members’ can talk about specific ‘topics’.

As Asexuals we are probably in the 1%, and breaking that down further into groups/sub categories is just plain idiotic.

If they scrapped groups and focus on the Forum Categories maybe impliment a chat-room feature (Which feels and behaves better than the AVEN chatroom), where you can easily access a chat room participants profile so you can connect / bond with individuals that might be a great idea.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by Andrew Logue.

[Ronessa S.]

Oh wow, first off, I’m glad that there are some people actually responding on this site. Secondly, I too have wondered why I had to pay in order to even read/send messages.

I was pleased to learn abou this site, with, like the majority of you, intention to meet fellow kindred where I could make new friends…and possibly start a relationship. But alas, I’ve barely received any messages. So I had hoped joining a few groups would change that.

Are there some other sites that have a better chance of meeting people?

Side note, I’m glad to see some activity on here though! *waves to everyone*

[Andrew Logue]

Hello Ronessa,

Well as far as I know there is:

http://www.Ace-Book.net (Nice looking site, easy to use friendly)
http://www.asexuality.org/ (Forum based Asexual Library and Discussion Board, has a chatroom with people just killing time)
http://www.asexualcupid.com (Good Site but EXPENSIVE $$$ and shoves upgrades Account your throat to do anything.)

Thats the only ones I know of, for now… Perhaps some other people know any more?

[Mareen]

What are the benefits of asexualcupid? As much as I don’t want to spend tons of money on a service that doesn’t help me find a partner, I’d be fine with paying quite a bit if it increased my chances significantly.

The thing about AVEN is that isn’t a dating site. It’s an educational site to spread awareness of asexuality. The forum is for asexual people to discuss a variety of things, including asexuality. I have a feeling that the creators wouldn’t even like people to use it for dating – if they met talking on the forum, okay, but going there with the sole purpose of dating seems to be frowned upon.

I’ve used Ace-book before, but I left (mostly because I met a very creepy guy and didn’t want to run into him again). I guess I might have to rejoin if this site here doesn’t work.

Personally, I’ve joined some groups here as a quick way of displaying some of my interests/opinions rather than cluttering my profile with endless lists of things I care about.

[Lorraine]

I would like to firstly agree with Ronessa, It is great to see you all discussing this. I also agree with Andrew. $15 is cheap for a dating site if you are hoping for a quality experience. Begrudging such a small amount makes me a little cross.

This said, I do find, from a ‘hetero-romantic ace seeking love’ perspective, the lack of activity and photos a little frustrating. To the men out there, please, an up to date photo is really helpful! Plus some effort into your profiles.
I am not sure what the deal is with the women, but there are a lot of men on this site not putting up a photograph and writing very lazy profiles.

I am also on Ace Book and I am finding that unless I actively send out that initial email, nothing happens. It similar here too. I do not know if this is because a lot of Ace men are simply shy, but unless there is some effort put into the hunt for romance from all, then nothing will be achieved. I am assuming most of us join this site so that we may meet someone special to share time with?

I do not wish to sound like an old Whinge-Bag. I do believe that if one wishes to achieve something, effort and energy is required. Sometimes lots of it! 🙂

Thank you for reading my little rant…

[Kim]

I do agree with most people’s comments about this site not being the best place to meet someone – but I realised that it’s the same for all ace sites (1% of the population spread across the world and people’s personal preferences will make it impossible to meet someone that truly matches you. The ones that do find people on these sites are just lucky. I have essentially given up on dating but what I do think is nice about this site is that you can chat to people about being ace. It’s nice to find people that find the topic as interesting to me as it is to them. So I didn’t mind paying the fee for one year just to help me answer questions about myself (as the ace label is new to me even if I didn’t need a label to know myself it has given me a sense of peace realising there isn’t anything wrong with me). Also after telling my family and their disbelief and negativity is enough for me to acknowledge the need for sites like this 🙂

[Marlies]

I also agree that it is difficult getting to know people on this site. I was very excited when I first signed up but after a few weeks of no responses to my messages I am beginning to give up on the idea of meeting someone. I don’t mind the small fee I paid, I feel worse about getting my hopes up. I am not even looking for a partner near by and still can’t find anybody. Maybe some of you would like to start a friendship group? Thanks to WhatsApp and Messenger it is easy to talk to people worldwide.
If someone is interested you can send me a message.

[Christina Mikkelsen]

Yeah Denmark we have like 15 users all together but only like 2 or 3 have been here for the last few weeks

[Christina Mikkelsen]

I agree but honestly the site won’t become more lively if people don’t stay online..

[Rachel Harrington]

Thanks for the replies. I do find it interesting that its mainly women that replied. Suggests to me that male aces are less bothered about meeting someone or certainly less pro-active (I could be wrong of course)

[Mareen]

You might be overthinking it. It’s just one thread on the forum of a site where most people probably don’t even know that there is a forum. That’s hardly enough to draw conclusions about asexual people in general.
Also, it’s entirely possible people just didn’t care much about the title, e.g. because they themselves didn’t pay, etc.

• This reply was modified 8 years ago by Mareen.

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