How exactly are you supposed to use this website?

[Anonymous]

I’m not very digitally apt, and I’m sure there are other people just as confused as me on here. Since I have never used this kind of website before, any advice on how to optimize my use of the website would be greatly appreciated. Also welcome advice includes: etiquette, other/better sites, explanations of this sites features. I apologize for my lack of internet common sense.
~Thank you

[Clairc]

I just joined this website and am in the same situation you are. I’ve tried to make contact with the webmaster, which has not helped. If you figure out how to edit and information to your profile, would you kindly let me know. Thanks and good lulck.

[joylilly]

Hi there
I’m really new myself. I have figured out if you are looking for people in your county / area – if you use ‘Please select your page’ and then chose ‘members’. When you are taken to that page at the top you’ll see ‘show/ hide search filters’.From there you can add a country and/or city in the search field options.
I hope that helps in some way! 🙂

[Anonymous]

Clairc,

After a lengthy and frustrating google search, I did actually learn now to edit that information.

1. go to your profile
2. scroll to the bottom of the page
3. You will see “Base” with a collapsible drop down containing the information you put in when making your account.
4. Above this, you will see an “edit” option. Click on it.
5. Now, listed horizontally below where it says “edit,” are “base,” “lifestyle,” “looking for,” and “detailed profile info.”
6. Click on one of these, scroll to the bottom of the page, and begin putting in your information!
7. When you are done with each section, hit “save changes” and repeat for the other sections.

Hope this helps
-AJ

[Anonymous]

Joylilly,

Oh nice! I will try to do that. Thank you for letting me know!

-AJ

[Emma]

I’m not quite sure how to best use this site either :/

[Richard]

Well, this site leaves a lot to be desired. The search options are so basic as to be useless. I can search for men, in the United States. That’s about it. If you choose a city you limit yourself completely. No ability to chose even age or willingness to relocate. Add to that the extremely limited number of people near my age and I am practically wasting my time. Also no way to tell by selection if a given person has an age range they are willing to connect with, so I am bothering people 20 years younger than myself due to lack of people my age, then feel bad for doing so. It’s like a weird dating twilight zone. But then, I’ve been alone this long, no reason to expect that to change anyway.

[Sharon]

Poorly. You’re meant to use it poorly.

There used to be more detailed search options (you could, at least, sort by language spoken, and I think age) but this would only work for your first page of results. As soon as you went to the second page, it would revert to listing every member.

You might “message” someone. They might message you back. Most times, these interactions end by one or the other person just Not Writing Back at some point (sometimes, I think, accidentally, by missing a notification) and they rarely end with a (rather more grown-up) mutual decision to not take things further. Your interaction may conceivably go as far as a phone call, skype call, or in person meet. In my experience, going to private email (i.e. not the messenger system) is about as far as it gets before communication/interest fizzles out.

You might “Friend” someone. I have yet to figure out the purpose of this other than to suggest vague interest without going so far as a message.

Honestly, I think the “Forum” here sees more activity than the actual profiles. The forum is probably a good way to find out who is active and THEN go check out their profiles to see if they’re a good match — it’s probably better than the search function itself.

[Von]

Honestly, I think the “Forum” here sees more activity than the actual profiles. The forum is probably a good way to find out who is active and THEN go check out their profiles to see if they’re a good match — it’s probably better than the search function itself.

Hah, yeah, stalk people for a while to see if their attitudes gel with yours before bothering to reach out.

[Jane]

I totally agree that this site is practically useless. Any other dating site allows you to search age, location, likes, dislikes, etc. I, too, am an older user and I have to manually sift through profiles to find someone my age and then read their profile to see if we have anything in common. Also, because it is not obvious how to add narrative to one’s profile, even if I find someone interesting, there is no personal narrative to read. I am sorry I spent any money on this.

[Anonymous]

Clairc,

After a lengthy and frustrating google search, I did actually learn now to edit that information.

1. go to your profile
2. scroll to the bottom of the page
3. You will see “Base” with a collapsible drop down containing the information you put in when making your account.
4. Above this, you will see an “edit” option. Click on it.
5. Now, listed horizontally below where it says “edit,” are “base,” “lifestyle,” “looking for,” and “detailed profile info.”
6. Click on one of these, scroll to the bottom of the page, and begin putting in your information!
7. When you are done with each section, hit “save changes” and repeat for the other sections.

Hope this helps
-AJ

Thank you!!!

[Veee]

There appears to be more traction here than on Ace-Book and Asexual Cupid…anyone here active on AVEN?

[Anonymous]

With great difficulty and in a constant state of frustration due to the absense of any compatible Romantic matches on here.

[K_42]

I’m active on AVEN.

[Chloe]

I think the idea of this site is a good one, but it is a half-assed execution and they think that this is something worth paying for. The money certainly isn’t going to pay for key features of the site so where is it going? Probably to keep it on some server until it unceremoniously is taken down because some agreement has lapsed or something wasn’t paid. I am a tad bit cynical.

What I am surprised by is that this site doesn’t have a chat room where there is less pressure to directly message a person immediately. Sure AVEN has a chat room but it isn’t all that certain that whoever is in there is looking for a romantic relationship.

The thing about this site is that there doesn’t seem to be much of an incentive to hang around or interact with anyone. People send friend requests and that is about it. Just a bunch of people sitting around waiting for someone to send them a message, so people are on long enough just to check to see if they got a message or to see who is online (as if it matters since they aren’t going to message who is online anyway if they can even read messages).

This turned into a mini-rant but I can’t be alone in this opinion right?

[Krys]

This all actually seems like a decent fit for where I’m at right now. A more quiet, relaxed-pace website is more what I’m looking for. All I’ve heard about other sites is that they are frenetic meat markets of people ignoring any giant billboards I post about being asexual. It’s pretty intimidating when I just want to get to know people and enjoy some light chatting.

Anyone have success stories using this site? Friends, romance, squishes, whatever relationships?

[Kat InLosAngeles]

I don’t think of this as a dating site, more a forum to discuss ace issues, and hear from others. The fact is, there’s not a lot of aces and you need pretty big numbers to make a successful dating site. So even if this site had better search features, etc, you’d still just be finding out there’s only 5 ppl living in your area on here (if you live in a big city).

[Anonymous]

I can’t seem to edit my profile anymore from the website (front-end). But if you login to the website and then in the address bar (of your browser) go to https://www.asexualitic.com/wp-admin it will log you into the back-end of your profile. Go to “profile” then click on “extended -profile” and you can change all the info in one clear, overview.

Yes I’m a nerd. Ssssh.

As for using this website. I think the forum is a better place to learn and get to know people. And then check their profiles to find out more. Searching for profiles has become terrible. You used to be able to search on language, age, etc. That’s all taken out (then again, it never worked).

Last time this website was updated was in january. And generally happens once or twice a year it seems. Wondering if we should start our own website lol

[Author]

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