What's it like being teenage and Asexual?

Viewing 16 posts - 1 through 16 (of 16 total)
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  • #2448
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I always found it weird how my group of friends would go out with people and have sex on the first date, in fact have sex all the time every time, whilst I just sat there thinking to myself ‘no’ and still wanting half of what they have a ‘relationship’

    So what is it like being teenage with friends who are sexual and being asexual?

    #2538
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Feels like an alien i am fed up how the society has been a sex culture everything you see here is all abut sex im talking about media and stuff >_< being a teen asexual sucks when people talk about girls body nstuff im like never mind ๐Ÿ˜› and they tell me im gay lol.i want a relationship with a girl but guess i wont find theres not much asexuals

    #2539
    Dex
    Participant

    I find it very strange, since while I am physically attracted to people, I have no sexual desires. People are always trying to ask me how I can find that girl or guy really attractive and funny and smart but not want to get in their pants.

    I get a lot of questions on a daily basis that make me feel like a whole other species from how detached the questions are; it’s like I lose part of my humanity in some of their eyes for not desiring sex with how sex driven our culture is.

    It’s kind of depressing, because I have fallen in love, and have had to accept they didn’t want to return the feelings unless I’d have sex.

    #2541
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I agree to both of you! Except I have had to fortune to have a group of friends which are so accepting and understanding that finally after going through every sexuality in the book, I have found myself as Asexual…

    Although I do admit that when people ask me who I fancy or what my type is I stutter, I don’t know what to tell them; the people who don’t know I am asexual. I just say something generic as they will forget anyway. It is hard to be understood when the world is full of procreation, and sex being at the forefront.

    But I feel you meet the best people being asexual, because you are meeting ‘people’ and not just what their libedo wants.

    #2746
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I agree! Its sooo hard because most people wont ever understand and say things like “oh,you just need to find the right one.” or “You’re just too young.” No,i know what i want and its not that hard just accepting the way i view things.

    #2774
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Well with friends it’s pretty easy for me because I just hang out with other teens who, even though they have sex, are not overtly sexual in all situations. Or teens who are also part of the LGBTQIA community that are understanding and accepting of all sexual orientations. The worse part is like Dex said, being in a relationship and feeling pressured to have sex just to satisfy your s.o. :/

    #3120
    Tal Spek
    Participant

    I have been fortunate enough to have friends who both accept me and try to understand me. I have had a few people question me, try to figure out the reason for which I am an Ace, and also try and see the difference between kissing and having sex, and why I deeply want one and not the other.

    It is somewhat depressing, though, that all my friends save one are straight. That one other friend is gay and very open about it, and it is really annoying that I have almost nobody from the LGBTQIA community to share this strange experience with.

    I do not know if to be glad or sad that I have never been in a relationship before. I have longed for many, none of whom returned the feeling. Maybe I want a relationship too quickly, maybe there is something deeply friend-like about me. It is probably both.

    Anyways, I should stop talking and let you guys have some screen time as well ๐Ÿ˜‰

    #3412
    Victoria
    Participant

    It’s kind of weird and uncomfortable at times, especially when the people around me always seem to end up talking about sex. Recently, for example, I heard these two guys talking and one guy said to the other that, because this one girl is nice to the other and likes him, she must “want the D”/want to have sex with him. These kinds of situations always make me a bit uncomfortable and, generally, cause me to wonder: If I meet someone and really like them, will they also assume that my liking them equals wanting to have sex with them? How would they react if I told them I don’t and never want to have sex? Though, what really makes me feel uncomfortable is when some starts talking to me about sex/nudity/etc. Usually, I have no idea what to say or how to change the topic. Especially when the person in question is someone I don’t really know that well.

    #3417
    Rubi
    Participant

    I understand were many of you are coming from. I tried explaining it to my friends, but they just took it as me bullshitng them or wanting attention. I do get attracted and emotionally invested in guys after spending time getting to know them and I do like cuddling and some kissing, but I’m just not interested in sex, it does nothing for me. And it sucks majorly when guys expect you to like sex just because you look like a certain type of girl. I started dating guys two years ago when I started college due to pressure from my family there were rumors going around that I was lesbian and though I respect LGBT it’s annoying being labeled something you are not. I dated about five and though I did get attracted to 2 of them they always expected more over time and I always ended up breaking up with them after a month. The second last one hurt because I really did have a connection with him but it ended not working out and after that I decided I would stop dating and just accept my reality. I didnt date for a year but of course the pressure came back and again the cycle repeated itself. But I am officially done, I don’t care what anybody says now.

    It sucks majorly watching people close to you and all the couples in the streets being caring to one another and knowing you might never get to have it and all because of sex

    #3419
    Melanie
    Participant

    I stopped explaining it to people a few years ago. Really, it doesn’t matter if people know. I actually have a reputation for being a bit of a slut, because I am often found flirting (I call it being nice) with the hottest guy at the party. I let them believe that, because it keeps away people that listen to that kind of rumour. My reasoning: They would turn away equally if they knew it was the other way around. People are hypocrites like that.
    When I am asked about my type-I have an answer ready, because I have a type. Looking isn’t the same as touching after all. And if a guy really comes on to me, I simply blow him off.
    Coincidentally, most of my friends are male. I suppose their gfs somehow know I’m not a threat.
    @ Rubi: Don’t look at it like you’re the one pressing your nose against a window, watching the others inside. Look at it the other way around: Those who are interested in you (and you’re pretty so I guess there’s quite a few ๐Ÿ˜€ ) are the ones standing outside begging, and you get to decide who can come inside. You are the prize, not the problem ๐Ÿ™‚

    #3426
    Rubi
    Participant

    Thanks Melanie for the comment. Yeah I guess I can see it that way. A few guys have tried to get to me like if I was a challenge, but most guys think I’m a tease or frigid, so I just recently started avoiding guys all together I don’t want to give them the wrong idea.

    #3428
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Has anyone else found that their family has taken it badly and their friends have been great about it? My friends don’t necessarily understand it but they still see me as the same person and have even gone so far as to defend asexuality when someone has made comments about it. My family, on the other hand, think I should grow up and get over myself and they tend to be the ones making nasty comments.

    #3430
    Rubi
    Participant

    I wouldn’t know what to tell you about that as I haven’t told my parents yet. I know if I were to tell my dad he’d be perfectly fine with it, on the other hand knowing my mom she’d try seeking help for me. The best you can do is ignore the comments. For a long time I let them get to me, but it’s just a mentally and physically draining process to care. Anyways I wish you luck with it. ๐Ÿ˜€

    #27518
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    dang, I always seem to find friends that either don’t accept me, and try to change me, or accept me cause they don’t care and cause problems for me.

    #29622
    Hope Ludt
    Spectator

    Yeah…😄😬. Itโ€™s fun to get used to the idea that youโ€™ll always be alone…*curls up under blanket and cries*

    Still! At least this website exists! Thereโ€™s still hope! 👍

    #29655
    Emerson L
    Spectator

    Getting a date while asexual is super hard and I’m concerned because most of my crushes are on sexual people. The few asexuals I know I just see as friends with the exception of one which I went on one date with once.

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