.: Stop asking me to pet you dog
OR
how to invalidate an asexual :.
That’s so weird.
Are you even human?
I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t
like dogs or cats.
How can you not like cats?
They are angels sent down from heaven.
Sent down to bless us with their fluff
their whiskers.
And their little toe beans!
How can you resist their tiny toes?
You’ll have to meet *my* pet.
They’ll change your mind.
And you don’t like dogs either?
Did you have a bad experience
when you were younger?
Because not all dogs are like that.
All the dogs I know are sweethearts.
I mean, have you even tried to like them?
—
I mean, have you even tried to like sex?
And all the men I know are sweethearts.
Because not all men.
You had a bad experience
when you were younger,
didn’t you?
That’s why you don’t like sex.
I’ll change your mind.
You haven’t had *my* sex yet.
How can you resist butts though?
Or thighs
The curves of the pelvis
Sent down to bless us with sex
Bodies are sent down from heaven
How can you not like sex?
I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t
like sex.
Are you even human?
So weird.
.