stop expecting me to pet your dog OR how to invalidate an asexual

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    Toph
    Spectator

    .: Stop asking me to pet you dog
    OR
    how to invalidate an asexual :.

    That’s so weird.
    Are you even human?
    I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t
    like dogs or cats.

    How can you not like cats?
    They are angels sent down from heaven.
    Sent down to bless us with their fluff
    their whiskers.
    And their little toe beans!
    How can you resist their tiny toes?

    You’ll have to meet *my* pet.
    They’ll change your mind.

    And you don’t like dogs either?
    Did you have a bad experience
    when you were younger?
    Because not all dogs are like that.
    All the dogs I know are sweethearts.

    I mean, have you even tried to like them?

    I mean, have you even tried to like sex?

    And all the men I know are sweethearts.
    Because not all men.
    You had a bad experience
    when you were younger,
    didn’t you?
    That’s why you don’t like sex.

    I’ll change your mind.
    You haven’t had *my* sex yet.

    How can you resist butts though?
    Or thighs
    The curves of the pelvis
    Sent down to bless us with sex
    Bodies are sent down from heaven
    How can you not like sex?

    I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t
    like sex.
    Are you even human?
    So weird.

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