I took to the shuttle to the airport. While in my seat I attempted to buckle up. “What’s wrong with this thing.” I was thinking in head. The buckle wasn’t working – I tried and tried and tried to buckle up but it just wouldn’t work. It was early morning and still dark outside so I could see the buckle but I could feel it. Hmm… it feels the same, as the others, so I tried it again, still no joy. Then I reach further behind my back and found another buckle, whoosh!! What a relief it worked this time.
The appearance of the buckles was the same on the outside but on the inside they were completely different. I realized how similar that was to me. From the outside I look like a normal man, I act like a normal man, and I speak like a normal man (sometimes with a high pitch voice, though). I’m muscular, my head in bald, I wear a goatee and for all intensive purposes I looked like a masculine man on the outside. But on the inside I didn’t fit the heterosexual male model. My body is completely oblivious for the need for sex.
Therefore, I believe that as an asexual male I am a “walking contradiction” but I’m all right with that. However, to be fair I must find a way to make my female associations who are gender binary aware to them the perceptive flaw that hangs within me. I must develop a mission statement, or script of some sort or an argument to support my condition to let everyone know who I really am.
If you can relate or understand my dilemma – let me know.
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