I too find that sex is used far too often as a distraction, knowingly or unknowingly, perhaps to avoid encountering one’s inner feelings. As an introvert, I’ve also come to notice this with many people with respect to their inner thoughts. They can go to great lengths to avoid being alone with themselves, so as to avoid the discomfort of who they are. Whereas I can be content camping out in the woods for weeks, not encountering another person nor needing to speak.
Too many people I encounter seem to view sex with some elevated priority (even over having feelings), at I know that has set me at odds when it comes to the prospect of relationships (they want someone who they can go at it with on a near-daily basis, whereas I seek a connection, and even if I ‘indulged’ in sex, would very quickly tire of it).
My personal view is that sex isn’t gross; it also isn’t something that particularly motivates or influences me. It certainly has its uses (biology), and is a likely pathway (one of many) toward a deeper intimacy (if used properly, not abused). If anything, its flagrant overuse and exposure by society tends to wear out its intrigue for me. I tend to get naturally disinterested in those things everyone else swarms around fervently. Granted, maybe there’s some fundamental, biological calling so many others are more swayed by, where somehow for me (and perhaps many of us) it comes across as more of a conscious awareness, something that can be more freely evaluated and acted upon (versus it being more impulsive).
Movies, for instance, will throw in some gratuitous sex scene at the expense of further expanding a story in some direction that would invite further contemplation. And with the influence of media on so many, they tend to mirror aspects of this. And perhaps far too many get the impression that sex is the necessary key to success in a relationship (versus it being one potential activity among many).
In the past I certainly fell prey to this (believing sex had some higher value as social currency, based on media and societal exposure). Since giving up TV and endeavoring to avoid contemporary media (also tends to promote a much happier and reduced-stress lifestyle) I tend to be more aware of these notions, and feel all the more liberated as a result. Certainly a double-edged sword, though: I feel content in being free from its influence, yet it also alienates me enough from what is effectively the vernacular of social interactions, especially when it comes to deeper relationships with so many people.
I guess you always have that: freeing yourself from a prison and being truer to yourself can make for fewer potential companions. And if one hasn’t fully acclimated to such a reality, could potentially be quite the lonely existence.
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