Demisexual or just shy?

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  • #27695
    Christine
    Spectator

    Hi, I’m new to allowing myself to be open about being asexual, and I’ve been struggling a lot with my identity. A term that I see coming up a lot is demisexual, which I think might be describing me? But I worry. I don’t feel sexually attracted to people, and I can’t imagine being comfortable having sex/being intimate with people unless I’ve known them for a really long time and am very close, even then I’m not sure if I would be able to do it. Does that mean I’m demisexual, or am I just picky?

    #27732
    Chiara
    Spectator

    Hi! I was in the same situation as you are! For my entire life I’ve thought that I’m extremely picky with guys, or maybe just shy and afraid of being intimate..Now I believe I’m demisexual. For me sex is just another way to express my feelings for the other person, so it’s just pointless for me doing it with someone I don’t have feelings for. And even if I do develop feelings for a person, I may want to express it in another way rather than sex. That’s how I explained it to myself..

    “demisexual” is a label, just like “shy” or “picky”, the difference is that the last ones imply that there is something wrong with me, while the first one makes me feel confortable with myself… and in the end, it’s all that matters 🙂

    I hope it helped! Sorry for my english..
    Best wishes :*

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