“I’ll never be able to find someone since my pool is so small as an asexual” — well, doesn’t being someone who continuously move around make that pool even smaller? Is it true that we can only be with other people like us because this isn’t a way of life that most people understand, want, or appreciate?
Most people I’ve met in life seem to have a sense of attachment to *some* place, and would have a hard time leaving it on an indefinite basis. Travel is a common desire, especially in younger people, but “let’s move to a foreign country where we might not know the language”? Some of the most adventurous travellers would freeze up and run away from that.
The idea of a non-nomadic person moving with me, “just for me”, makes me uncomfortable. (If they’re genuinely interested in exploring and taking on a global way of life but just hadn’t had the opportunity before, then that’s different.) Because that’s a very large amount of pressure put on me to be solely responsible for justifying their sacrifice in leaving their “home”, to which there can be a lot of intense emotions and resentment buried and left to fester over time. I don’t want to be put in that position because I believe that arrangements of that type very rarely succeed. Being in a new country/region is challenging for everyone who does it. It’s going to feel unstable and isolating to ME too, the only difference is that I’m used to it and haven’t known anything different to feel like there’s been a loss or sacrifice.
On top of that, and completely independent of future plans (okay, maybe I could “make the sacrifice” and decide to stay in one place “for someone”, provided they’re willing to help me get permanent resident status), is the fact that migration and movement has shaped the core of who I am. I don’t understand what “home” is, or what it feels like to be attached to one place. I don’t really even know if I have the capacity to, because some of my earliest childhood memories were of planes and customs. I feel mentally unable to comprehend long-term planning in one geographical location. My greatest passion in life is advocating for open borders, and I spend a large amount of time thinking, reading, writing about these issues. It’s really hard for someone to understand me if they’ve never been exposed to any of it before.
Just want to hear your thoughts. Because I’m starting to think that “has [domestic OR international] migration experience” should be a necessary requirement, given the experiences I’ve had so far….
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