Is anyone out there?

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • #3017
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello everyone…this group is EXACTLY what I have been looking for on this site! I would LOVE to hear everyone else’s stories and struggles – if you are willing to share them. My mother has tried, tirelessly, to tell me that I am NOT an asexual because my nonexistent sex drive is a result of my health issues/ medications…but seeing that my illness is chronic, it is a part of me. The medications and the way that I am ISN”T going to change. And, if for some strange and miraculous reason, I would wake up one day and could be taken off of certain medications/ my body began functioning properly, and would find myself “healed” of my asexuality (her turn of phrase, not mine)…isn’t there still an equal chance that I would find myself unchanged? Sure the medications I have CAN cause this…but what if they aren’t the culprit? Either way, I hope this forum will pick up speed as it would be amazing to hear from those who can relate to my situation.

    #3020
    Alicia Smith
    Participant

    Lol I made a topic too, but I happily didn’t have that problem with my mom….but I have a problem with guys…

    A lot of guys try convincing me that I should try sex before I say I’m asexual. But of course they want me to try it with them because they think that they can “fix me” but they don’t understand it when I tell them that I am repulsed by sex. It’s just ridiculous.

    #3062
    SILVIARDZ
    Participant

    Hello there….Iam a chronic-acute pain sufferer…I broke my entire body in a auto accident, maybe I will tell you the complete story, another time, but the most important result of all of this is that…I no longer have a desire to have sex…because I know I wont find any enjoyment in it for me….I was married, for 30 yrs, I have 2 adult children…I had my accident when I was 38…and ever since, my accident, my ‘marriage’ went down the drain..sex was just too painful for me, and I couldn’t perform anything…so, as expected, my husband left me because he ‘needed’ to have sex, and well, he cheated..and well, I told them to leave..i didn’t care…I felt, betrayed and useless…and felt into a deep depression…almost suicidal…I admit…but, as anything, once you reach the bottom of the pit…you go up….my whole life fell apart…I couldn’t work anymore, I loved what I did…I was a patient counselor..i couldn’t no longer enjoy going out, swimming, playing tennis, riding a bike dancing…taking walks with my dogs or friends, or my kids on the beach…I can only ‘sit in bed, and watch the world go by…..its worst than being in prison….iam a prisoner of pain…..all I do is, watch tv..talk on the phone with family or friends, chat with friends, and well. I had to learn to accept my condition and learn to live with my limitations….thank GOd..this accident came late in my life…I had experience, being young, work, traveling, getting married, having kids…etc….so, in a way,one must adapt with what you can do….and enjoy it to the fullest…sure, I wish I could once again swim in the ocean, ride a bike, walk my dogs, go to parties, dance the night away…have a partner to love and make love.to hug, or be hugged, to kiss, to hold hands….any contact with my skin, is painfull….hugs are out..its too painful to touch me…even the air that hits my skin hurts me…clothes, the water that runs down my body when I bathe……….but, I cannot longer do any of those things….I had to learn to live this ‘life’….not what I was….but who I ‘became’….Iam more spiritual about life, and about love….and sharing my time with those who still are with me…for who iam…not for what I cannot do…..as I see it…just be yourself..be happy who you are….medications can make you loose your libido all together….some people regain their sexual appetites when they come off meds…some don’t…..but, whatever happens, happens…..all you have to do, I find happiness and content within you…and don’t let others, tell you what you should do, feel, or want…etc……ask your mother to ‘respect’ you as the beautiful human being you are….tell her that “love” is a feeling that you give to others as a person, and that ‘sex’ has nothing to do with love, and that sex is another ‘thing; that one person can enjoy or not….you wont die, or become neurotic or sick,or suicidal or unhappy if you don’t have sex…..but, loving your life, and the people that love you back, will……..sex is just an ‘action’ and a ‘reaction’ to a sensation….thru history we women, specially have been taught to ‘obtain’ happiness, love and other things thru ‘sex’…..and that is very wrong…..only loving yourself, will make you happy…..I hope my story gives you another view of another person out here who is very happy living without sex….without the ‘touch’ of another human being…..but, is happy and content, with her life, as painful as it is…iam living proof, that miracles do happen, and that only loving yourself, is enough to keep you happy and content with who you are…..that everything, all sensations, and emotions, start in your brain…and run thru the heart…..and stay in your mind forever….and I learned to be happy, in my mind…and in my heart…

    #28999
    Sandy
    Spectator

    I have lived with chronic pain for over 15 yrs , have arthritis-degenerative disc disease-fibromyalgia- chronic back pain last thing I want is sex, but would be nice to find some one who was in the same boat as me. To look at me you wouldn’t know I had these problems other than the bags under my eyes from not sleeping more than 4 hrs a night

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