Women's Personal Testimonies Wanted!!!

[Anonymous]

Hi there! I’m Haley, I’ve been a part of the Ace community for about two and a half years now, and I’ve been part of Asexualitic since 2014. I’m currently a student at FSU and I’m working on an academic project looking at the intersections of being an asexual woman. I was hoping some people might help my research by giving details about their personal experiences as women within the community. All women on the grey spectrum are welcome to participate.

These experiences could range from coming out stories, experiences from the dating world, interactions with doctors/psychologists/psychiatrists/therapists, your personal understanding of your identity as an asexual woman, etc. Any information will be used anonymously unless you give me express permission to use some form of identification, and even then I would most likely only use your username from Asexualitic. You can send me your testimonies either by posting on this thread or by privately messaging me. If you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to ask!

Here is a little more about me, and also some examples of experiences you can tell me about from your own life:
I didn’t know what asexuality was until I saw the TV show Sirens. One of the main characters, whose nickname is Voodoo, is openly asexual, and one character spends the episode trying to understand it. After watching the episode I did my own research and realized all the definitions I was seeing directly related to how I felt. Up until that moment I thought people were joking when they talked about how much they “needed” to have sex with someone. I literally thought everyone just found those “jokes” funny and they were just overused hyperbolas.

Since coming out to myself the most negative experiences I’ve had involved coming out to other members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Not only did I experience negativity on a personal level, I saw big-name advocates like Dan Savage tear apart my person-hood and tell me I should stay within “my people.”

Most of my family already knows, but I haven’t told my aunt. She has been the one who has pushed me the most to have children, which is probably why I haven’t told her. My sister was my first family member I told. She is younger than me and was also going through a sexual identity crisis at the time, and was completely understanding and welcoming.

I’m terrified to date people I meet in real life. I don’t believe that I should be forced into dating only other asexual people (although I have no problem with dating within the community) but because of the effect media has had on me, I’m unwilling to “push” my lack of sexuality onto others. I understand that sex is a deal-breaker for a lot of allosexuals, and therefore don’t want to get too involved with people who don’t know my asexuality. At the same time, I don’t feel like telling everyone I may come to like that I am asexual upon greeting.

So that’s me, and I hope that helped a little bit. Like I said, feel free to contact me on this thread or via private messages. I hope to hear from some of you soon!!

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