What do you love about being Asexual?

[Suzanne]

Since discovering that I am asexual, I experience a great relief that I can love people more freely because I know that it is legitimate for me not to want sex. I feel at ease knowing that my loving is pure as it is. And it’s not my responsibility to withhold my love because others will misinterpret it. I love this about being asexual. I would love to hear what others love about being asexual. Thank you for sharing! Cheers 💫🌟

[Anonymous]

I don’t particularly see any significant benefits. I’m fairly neutral to being who i am. I’m defenitely glad that sexual instincts don’t rule my life and i feel it allows me to see the world more objectively. On the other hand being seen as someone weird and mentally ill isn’t exactly convenient. I think the extremes balance each other out.

[Elizabeth]

Hi Suzanne. Your point about being able to love people more freely and fully because of the absence of sexual desire really resonates with me. I’ve felt that way all my life but only very recently understood why? The love I feel for the people who are closest to me, (family and friends) is sometimes overwhelming. I do understand what you mean Vanessa, since many people who are sexual have misinterpreted my emotions because they are unable to see the world from my point of view and cannot separate the term ‘love’ from the need for the sexual act. It may have concerned me when I was younger that I was perceived as different but I thankfully no longer care. Their failure to be able to separate love and sex is their problem, not mine and I feel more pity for them than resentment.
I think it definitely can be more difficult to be asexual if you’re bound by society’s rules and expectations. But as soon as you detach from those, the experience of being asexual and being able to communicate and interact with other asexual individuals is so liberating.

[Suzanne]

Hello Venessa and Elizabeth, thank you for contributing to this forum. It’s really supportive to hear from one another.
I am realizing that another aspect of this culture of asexuality that I appreciate is that many of us seem to be tender spirits, open hearted and just ourselves, not trying to impress or seduce, just being ourselves. It’s refreshing to connect with no agenda, just person to person. (Thanks for connecting through this forum!) 💫🤗

[Anonymous]

Well Elizabeth, i don’t let the society norm rule my life, i only said it was ‘inconvenient’.

[Suzanne]

Hello Vanessa and Elizabeth, Thank you for your shares. In the name of safety, perhaps we could keep our shares to our own direct experience and not comment on each other’s shares. How does that sound? Thank you 💫🙏

[Veee]

Absolutely nothing!! A bit unfortunate… 🙁

[Jeff]

I neither really like nor dislike being ACE.
About a year ago I developed a crush(more like a squish) on a woman that I got to know online.
She was ACE and I had never heard of being asexual before.
As I got to know her more I felt that I could relate to her on many different levels.
I started to identify more and more as being ACE as I realized that I had never really identified that strongly with being the opposite.
Unfortunately, she was too young for me and lived much too far away for anything to ever happen.
Still, I had imagined what an ACE relationship with her might be like and it felt more satisfying than anything else I had ever imagined before.
This happened at a time when I was feeling more alone than I ever had before and, at my age, I didn’t expect to ever find someone that I could relate to and that could also relate to me.
So, with this experience and finding websites like this one and ace-book.net, I now feel more hopeful.

[Anonymous]

Hey Suzanne, we were just saying each others opinions on friendly terms, don’t worry about it!

[Anonymous]

I find a sense of clarity in perhaps recognizing the state of asexuality as a viable articulation point for the human experience (versus me just being a deviant of the norm- although, I have to say being deviant is also not without its joys).

I can now cherish the lack of distraction I have always enjoyed, where my thoughts and perspectives aren’t being clouded constantly by sexual tendencies. To know it is no longer some freak accident, but a result of a larger tendency, really adds to my appreciation of something that has likely brought me a lot of success.

There are the occasional spots of insufficiency: wishing at times I had someone to share deeper feelings with, go an adventures with, yet recognizing I somehow wasn’t entirely compatible with the bulk of people I encounter. Do I risk a relationship that will only seem to fail for the same reasons it always does (despite my efforts to the contrary), or do I save them the eventual anguish? Again, not in any sort of negative mindset, maybe a bit of being a realist. Certainly on the plus side: my avoidance of seeking relationships has enabled me to come to appreciate the the beauty present in the world in ways I would likely have overlooked otherwise.

So ultimately, I love the clear-headedness it grants me, enabling me to bring my passions where I can (projects, pursuits, just not with other people). I am very grateful for that perspective it has given me, and moreso: what new insights I have gained from the asexual community in how one can perceive the world.

[K_42]

I see no benefits. I see my pool of potential mates as being extremely small which makes me depressed just thinking about it.

[danny]

I suppose one positive of not having sex means you don’t get covered in other peoples sweat and bodily fluids that’s got to be a positive hasn’t it?

[Anonymous]

Nothing…

[Nitrogen]

There are few benefits, but one I suppose is not having to worry about accidentally getting pregnant if you’re like me and you don’t want kids. Yay?

[John K.]

You never have to get tied down. The house is yours, the money is yours, the car is yours. If you can overcome being lonely then it’s not too bad. Total freedom. Most guys lose their mind if they don’t have a girl at the moment. I couldn’t care less, so I don’t have to go looking. I can spend time on things I actually like doing.

[Caro]

I think its safer and healthier for me. I figured that I don’t stress about the possibilty of getting pregnant, I don’t need to go to my doctor for checks-ups as often, nothing gross to swallow and no performance stress.

[Nicole]

I enjoy being ace the vast majority of the time – never having to make rash decisions or act due to a variety of sexual reasons. Sex complicates people’s lives and creates drama, all of which I am happy to live without. It also means I don’t need someone else to validate me physically or emotionally, which helps with self-confidence. It is incredibly liberating to be completely free from lust, jealousy, and sexual pressures to perform. It means your relationships are deeper and based on healthy things like personality and compatibility, rather than shallow relationships. I love being ace, as it is truly the most wonderful sense of freedom.

The only downside I see to being ace is finding other aces to become partners with. Its incredibly difficult to find someone who’s ace AND that you’re compatible with AND that its a good time in both of your lives. Finding someone to share your life with is much more difficult being ace. Hopefully, someday, I will find someone 🙂

[Dayna]

I agree with EVERYTHING that Elizabeth said! I love it. 95% of the people I’m around don’t understand it (especially in the African American community) but I don’t care. I feel free and true to myself. I’m alone but I’m not lonely. I’m fulfilled.

[Glenda Breaux]

I love the freedom of it. I love that sexual attraction doesn’t hijack my decision making process or trick me into hurting people I love.

[Ben]

A lot of what Nicole said, but more than anything, having a great day, followed by a great night, without that awkward moment where the other person says (or implies)

“do a load of stuff that complies with expectations I have that you don’t know about, stuff you don’t want to do, otherwise this perfect day will be ruined, and you’ll lie awake feeling guilty and insufficient”

“and tomorrow I’ll probably tell people that you’re weird”

[Author]

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