I remember reading about how Freud believed a young child being scared of the large black horses of his father’s military parade was evidence that he (and all males) secretly desire to kill their own father so they can displace them in their mother’s bed.(Oedipus complex)
As remarkable as it is offensive to a man, but women didnt get off any easier when he said all women envy the penis.
It all seemed rather bizarre to me and stuff I could never relate to (perhaps its above my intelligence), yet when I consider my own asexuality I draw very defined childhood manifestations of abstraction from the ‘norm’.
I remember finding, perhaps age 6 or 7 ‘The Joy of Sex’, hidden away in my parents bedroom while looking for Chritmas presents. It was like looking at a different species, something I couldnt relate to. Graphic illustrations of a penis (erect) that didnt seem like mine at 6, or the adults both hairy all over, like neanderthals…..what the hell was I looking at?
I also remember the dirty mags from the 70s in the bushes or mates older brother’s showing them. Everything was hairy in the 70s. Dirty playing cards, mucky films all of it was grim.
Everything was crude, I recall my mate having this pretend orange, and if you squeezed it a massive inflatable penis shot out. What a wheeze it was to all…except me. I just quietly was repulsed.
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