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  • #31842
    Graham
    Participant

    Someone sent me a friend request in which I accepted. I sent a message, and have had no reply, and they have been online.
    Another expressed an interest on asexualcupid.com . I found him on here and sent a message, and also no reply. I feel like sending them a very harsh message now. It is really getting me down.

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Graham.
    #31844
    Veevie
    Spectator

    Really don’t take it personally. I find it hard to believe that there isn’t a single person this hasn’t happened to who has contacted someone on these sites. It’s happened to me several times. You don’t know what is going on with people so it’s best to just be kind and / or ignore it.
    When guys go cold with me I NEVER check up on their profiles. Why would I be interested in someone who isn’t interested in me? I’m also not willing to start a possible relationship chasing my partner.
    At the end of the day you have to be able to realise that you are enough and anyone you allow in your life are meant to be an extension not the be all and end all.
    Good luck with your journey!

    #31846
    Graham
    Participant

    Thank you x

    #31847
    Trevor
    Spectator

    Don’t confuse your emotions. I doubt youre angry at the person. Anger is a secondary emotion. So I can assume like most youre more upset at being single and wanting to build a relationship, but not getting the attention you need. I got that way too. I forget the stats but it can take over a year to find somebody you vibe with on online dating sites. You might start talking to someone and 3 months later not care for them anymore, or they could quit having any desire for you. It’s a numbers game.

    I’ve had over 300 views on my other online dating profile so far. Maybe 30 have made some type of advance. I’ve only cared to talk to 3. Out of those 3 I vibed really well with them, but ended up dropping 1. I’m still uncertain where things are going with the other 2. I’m really down to just 1 currently. I’ve been at this for 3 months now. I’m just learning how to keep my emotions in check really. It’s just all about numbers and patience.

    #31851
    Graham
    Participant

    Thank you. Is there another asexual dating site other than this and cupid?

    #31852
    Ally
    Spectator

    I get so far then like setting up profiles then I am too scared to act. I know that sounds silly but the anxiety kicks in. I feel soo much better if I’m face to face with someone. I have a very flirty personality in person but I can’t do that online or over the phone. I don’t tell people that I am asexual. Instead I have been told many times (even again this week) that I am single because I do not put myself out there. I will never make the first move for fear of rejection. That can translate to me not replying. The problem is me and my issues not the person I have inadvertently ignored. Easy to say but don’t stop trying.

    #31864
    Graham
    Participant

    Thank you Ally. Hope all is well.

    #31872
    Trevor
    Spectator

    Theres a dating app I never used it though. Cupid is weird. Unless you pay for it, you’re better off just not even using it. I used it un-paid for after paying for it and….the advantage is to those who pay. I go weeks without any attention on there than I get a wave of likes and winks and messages. The key thing with them is to change your profile pic every few weeks and refurbish your description about me and about your match when you put up a new pic. I’ve noticed the same profiles re-look me up when I do this and a lot of them even like my profile the second/third time around. I think if they don’t recognize the name they think its a whole different person, or they do know its you still, you’ve just earned yourself a second chance.

    Nobody describes themselves perfectly the first time, so why would you write your profile once and let it run forever? You get to really know what you’re looking for in a relationship if you’re writing about it for the 5th time. Helps you hone in on the right one (: Plus its your image. Whos to say you cant update it with a new version every now and then?

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Trevor.
    #31877
    Laura Wood
    Spectator

    I didn’t know about asexualcupid.com! I’m not primarily considering this a dating site, although maybe I’m wrong. But it’s nice to chat to people, and make friends. It feels like if I do end up falling for someone that would be awesome, but it’s not my primary intent.
    That said I could imagine that if I didn’t respond to someone it would be anxiety, rather than anything personal to them.

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