Hi. I’m fairly new on here. As I have acquired vocabulary, I have been able to tweak how I identify. I consider myself a pan-romantic asexual, but that doesn’t quite seem to fit. I have considered that I am a sapiosexual, as I do seem to be turned on by big ideas and quality writing (there are often times that I am caught up in a book and have to stop to pleasure myself). I watch porn and masturbate, but have little interest in having sex with another human being. That said, I am not a virgin by any stretch, but have been celibate for most of the last twenty years. I feel that at some point my desire to be loved and held may override my aversion to sex. Ideally, I would love to be in an asexual relationship with someone who tolerates (even better, also engages in) my sexual side interests. I’ve been so afraid to post this because I’m afraid of being judged. I’m afraid people will say I don’t belong here, but I don’t know where else to go.