Kids

[Claire]

Personally, I love kids, and I know I want to adopt someday. I think it would be great to have an asexual husband and father as a part of the family.

So I am wondering…

Does anyone else feel this way (aka want to be married and have kids)?
Do aces who want kids tend towards adoption, or artificial insemination, or…?
How on earth would you have a sex talk with your kid when they are old enough to know the details/ask questions??? hahah

🙂
claire

[Anonymous]

Such a great topic! I want a child very much (I even included the topic in my “about me” section). I do want my own biological child though. And I would love to have a husband to have the child half them too. We would probably have to do where they give a “sample” and then it is put in me because I am so very asexual haha. But with a partner would be great. That said… I am starting to think it wont happen. I think I am going to resort to being a single mother by choice. Luckily I have a very supportive family.

How about you? Would you resort to adopting on your own? I think the sex talk would get awkward for both of us haha. Then again I tend to know a lot about the subject. Seriously, I find myself explaining things to people a lot or giving advice. Maybe because I am outside the situation it is easier to learn about… some how. Though I foresee my future teenager yelling at me something like “How can you tell me I cant if you dont even know about it!!”…. Maybe just cross that bridge when it comes lol

[Melanie]

I would love to have children, I’m hoping to get the ball rolling to be approved as a foster mother in the next 6 months. From there I’ll work on being approved as an adoptive mother. I would love to have a partner to share that with but its not a must have. I think I would enjoy being pregnant, how I would go about that would depend on the circumstances but I do know I would not enjoy the actual act of giving birth. I’ve always wanted to adopt and its something I can do to help even just a little bit.

As far as the sex talk, I’m not sex repulsed and I have a LOT of information about sex. Its never been a taboo subject in my household and I would hope it would be the same with any children I have. Yeah, it can be awkward but you work through it to make sure they have the correct information.

[Lindsay-Isabel]

Ironically, I wrote a Tubmlr post about this very thing a couple days ago. I’m just going to copy and paste the relevant areas in here as, like the others on this thread, it’s a subject very dear to my heart.

…Not going to lie, I want one…sometimes badly. However, I have a lot of negatives in my favour in the ‘ready for a baby’ section. Financially, physically, emotionally…

1) I live at home, I’m only able to work two days a week at my current job and get less than 650 a month, and still need at least 2.5 more years before I’ll have a useful diploma to get a ‘good’ job which will enable me to support myself and not depend on my parents.

2) I have cerebral palsy, my body is fussy (my body ages faster than average person (my body apparently ages 3 for every 1 year) and I have a lot of ‘invisible’ medical problems on top of my CP) and I’m Asexual – I don’t want to do what you have to do to ‘make’ a baby nor do I think I want a partner.

3) I’m dealing with undiagnosed depression, I have one hell of an anxiety problem and I don’t deal with stress in a healthy manner (instead of getting sad, I usually get angry or shut people off completely)…

Still, it could happen, I guess.

[Alyson]

I actually am a single mother of my own biological son. I know this may seem odd to most but, even though I may prefer to never have intercourse, I did so because I cared about the man I was with at the time and felt pressured to do so. This is not to say I didn’t want him, as I truly love my son. But you can definitely be asexual and have your own children. Of course, I’m hoping to meet another asexual some day down the road who won’t shy away from my circumstances.

[Claire]

I would love to adopt kids, even if I end up having to do it on my own. I want most to adopt siblings out of the foster care system so they do not have to be separated from one another.

As I said, I would love to have an asexual husband to be a part of the family. I think he could bring a lot of ideas, support, and warmth to the family. 🙂 Unfortunately there just do not seem to be many asexual men, not to mention one who would be compatible to?/like? me AND want a family! But hey– it only takes one!

My main concern for raising children on my own is honestly finances. I am going into teaching, and want to work in very poor districts around the US. I truly believe this is my calling. But I just do not know if a rural teacher’s salary alone can support an adult and 2+ children as they grow up. I do not have a particular desire to be wealthy, but I want to be able to take care of my children as best as I can 🙂

In any case, I have begun putting aside little bits of money now and then into my “dream box.” Maybe one day it will be full enough to help me adopt someone in need!

[Anonymous]

I would love children one day. Heck, its one of my few goals in life. I do want children of my own blood… but adoption is probably the better option, considering how many unwanted kids there are in the world now. 🙁

The sex talk? I would give it to them straight. I might be a little biased in it (I would urge them not to give into pressure), but I would tell them everything they should know.

[Von]

I don’t particularly want children, most certainly not my own, but I’m not against adopting. Financial security would be a necessity, though. Not just ‘can make it every week’ but ‘can dedicate time and funds to raising them properly’.

I can only hope that nurture will beat nature, when it comes to them making responsible decisions regarding sex. I don’t care if they get it on every day of the week, so long as they’re smart about it. 🙂 Emotions, now… THOSE get people into trouble.

[Jean Yaha]

Do want children at least one. I can take care of them.

I would be honest with them when time comes to talk about it. But let them decide what good for them, it’s their life not mine, I can share what I know about it.

[Andres]

My “family”, the one that I want to, would have children. I am not sex repulsed, so I could talk about it with my sons, but, of course, I wouldn’t do it with my daughter (if I have one).

But that desire to have kids sometimes go away, when I think that maybe I couldn’t stand myself.. I mean, when you are tired of everything, you want to be alone, but with a family that is almost impossible.

[Author]

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