Is this site worth it?

[Anonymous]

I’ve always known I’ve never desired sexual relationships, but I never knew there was a name for this sort of feeling until recently. Now that I know who I am I just really would like a few good friends to talk this out with or even chill with. I think we all need this sort of support. Is anyone genuinely interested in chatting or even checking up on each other occasionally? I’m here if anyone’s interested in being friends or chatting.

Here’s my question though: Has anyone really benefited from this site? And if not, what legit site is there for asexuals?

[Dan]

Hi LisaLeslie,

I greatly appreciate your starting this discussion and posing your questions, thank you.

While this site is the most “clumsiest” site I’ve seen in which to navigate on, I do think Asexualitic and all others are worthwhile just because we need as many support forums as possible. I am hidden far into the ace closet and have no one in real life to “come out to,” who would understand and be supportive.

Many, it seems, have not found mates or significant others here, yet some have. Personally, I despair—-and yet on this site, I did find my soulmate Zaida, a woman half my age from another country, Guatemala, with whom I grew very close to emotionally, that is, we were in genuine love. We were arranging to meet in each other’s countries when she died of illness on July 4, 2015, which devastated me. I’ve mentioned this many times on this site, so I won’t say more now, so as not to bore others.

I despair of ever finding another, but my despair is my issue to work out and ought not discourage others who might very well find their soulmate here.

There is Ace-Book and other sites to try. It’s just nay impossible when we are few and can’t find one another locally very easily. There are also asexual meetups nationally and internationally. I couldn’t relate to the Washington, DC meetup when I attended a couple meetings some years back, but maybe I should give it another try.

So in sum, it can be discouraging, if your purpose is to find a significant other and form a positive loving relationship with, but it can be done and has been done.

I’m up for chatting and supporting.

~Dan

[Anonymous]

Hi, Lisa! I keep going back and forth on whether this site is worth my money. Then I learned there’s another ace in my town on here, and she lives just down the road, so now I have a new friend! Even if our won’t happen exactly like that for you, I say give it a try.

[anndrea stutzman]

Hey Lisa, I think this site is just like any other website, communication anywhere is difficult, finding people to connect to is difficult. That is just life, but one thing that’s nice, is the more practice the better it will be for you to speak your truth and find others to share that with. That’s why we are on this planet!

[Amy]

Hey everyone… I’ve only just figured out I’m asexual, so it’s nice to no longer feel like I’m broken or missing something 🙂 I’m really keen to connect with other aces, and talk about things, I’ve actually never met anyone else in my boat so it’s exciting to know you’re all out there! Please, anyone who’d like to connect or chat, send me a message. I’m not sure how to navigate this site so feel free to email me at [email protected], otherwise I’m sure I’ll figure out how to message via the site. Thanks family!

[Mara Copland]

I don’t think so. I had high hopes when I joined, but I’ve never really found anyone at all close to me, and to be honest, the constant false-cheery platitudes wear on me a bit. If I could get a refund, I would.

[Elizabeth L]

It’s 2018, there is no excuse for a social website to be this clunky on mobile/desktop.

Somebody messaged me and I couldn’t figure out how to reply directly to their message. I’ve been using the internet efficiently for decades, but if somebody could assist in helping me understand my confusion with messaging it would be appreciated.

Oh, and after telling the person who messaged me I didn’t know how to reply to their message instead of telling me how they just offered to exchange phone numbers instead. HUGE red flag. Who asks for a complete stranger’s phone number over the internet? (If you think that’s okay, ask yourself why.) This was the first interaction with another person on this site.

The first topic of discussion I was greeted with upon joining was a misogynistic dumpster fire regarding “non-virgin” women and their supposed inherent sluttiness and endless predatory behavior towards the OP. The cringe was real and I also noticed a lot of shrill and ineffective arguing from other discussions.

I haven’t really been using this site much after that. I’m not saying this site can’t be useful, I’m saying it might be difficult for it to be useful and non-toxic for me.

Maybe I’m just bad at the internet.

[Anonymous]

Messaging is indeed not well designed on this website, but you gotta click on Messages and above where your messages are it’ll have “Inbox”, “Sent”, “Starred” and “COMPOSE” in a fairly small type size.

You’d think that “Compose” would be in HUGE but apparently, nope.

But don’t be discouraged Elizabeth! You can always just ignore the clearly awful few topics that have popped up in the forums. Unfortunately, this still is the internet and there’ll be trickles of garbage that seeps in, unfortunately even here.

I feel like most people aren’t keen to contribute or participate and therefore this website is just dead, if we all made a tiny bit of effort, then maybe this community would be worth more maybe?

:\

[Lindsay]

There aren’t a whole lot of options for use aces so I say its worth it.

That being said, I’d love to chat with anyone who wants a buddy!

[Anonymous]

Hi. I’m new as well. I’m not sure yet how “worth” it the site is, but I have had a few messages back and forth with nice people. It’s comforting to know that there are others like me in this big wide world. I’ve been fortunate in that my real life friends have been open to my asexuality, a few even said “that makes sense” having seen my love life or lack there of over the years. Real life friends are hard to make as we get older and more set in our ways. Maybe this site can bring more folks together.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you there Wallpaper.
I’m only on the cusp of 30 and I find that making friends the older you get is just so darn difficult.

At most, I only have a handful of truly good and close friends. Which I would consider myself VERY lucky to have.

[Anonymous]

[Alison]

I go through phases of joining up and letting my membership lapse because its usually dead on here. Noticed a few new topics recently and people actually responding so joined up again.

I think its the same for some others around here. The prospect of relationships (and sex) seems to be a powerful motivator for interaction in other non ace groups ive been in and thats not something that happens around here much.

The bigger sites (AVEN) are more active if a little intimidating with the policing of what is and isnt ace.

I think this group is very much worth it if only we could all be arsed to post. I say that when i was last on here over a year ago because my membership had lapsed.

[Author]

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