January 14, 2020 at 8:03 pm #31439
I love that this website exists but do any of you also feel like it’s a pain to start a conversation with someone here, because most members aren’t full members, and the site doesn’t have a chat or anything.
Do any of you know of a Facebook group or would you be interested in being part of a secret facebook group? Then we just create one 🙂
Let me know. Would love to be able to chat with more people.January 14, 2020 at 10:20 pm #31440
There is an app called ace app and is free to chatJanuary 15, 2020 at 12:44 am #31442
This one? ACEapp – Asexual Social NetworkJanuary 15, 2020 at 12:45 am #31443
Is it also for us old farts? Though I’m in age-denial.
I may try it. I can converse with and learn from everyone.
January 15, 2020 at 5:32 am #31445
- This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by Dan.
found the Aceapp, not much happening there either, seemingly.January 15, 2020 at 8:59 am #31446
I miss the chatting here too. Most members here are not full members and can’t chat/message.
There are Facebook groups. But some members don’t want to use groups on facebook.January 15, 2020 at 10:56 am #31447
Yes, found a facebook group yesterday. Afraid to say not much is happening there either lol.January 17, 2020 at 12:34 pm #31449
ACE app was originally set up as an asexual dating app, but since then, it’s also used for social networking, so make it clear what you are looking for. I am on here to get more people to come to my meetups and for a serious relationship and same with that APP too.
The problem I think lies in the fact that people say they want to talk or a serious relationship, but most people don’t want to put the time, energy, and effort into doing so. Even someone on this thread says in their profile they don’t want to talk, but like listening. Communication is a two way thing, if they expect someone else to do all the talking, that is not an equal friendship or potential relationship and therefore people will get bored or fed up and go elsewhere.January 19, 2020 at 12:32 am #31453
Sandra…been here for a bit and this is pretty awful to make friends or to get to know people.
Was on Aceapp for a while and it was quite shitty, not sure if its ok to use bad words here but shitty is the least bad word I can come up with to define it…lolz!
You want to make friends, you want a relationship, you want to get married…well…bit hard to accomplish anything if you dont talk.
Do agree with what you wrote but hopefully more people will read and understand your comment.January 19, 2020 at 7:30 am #31454
yeah, well people can be lazy when it comes to putting effort into connecting. If an app or website is shitty that isn’t going to help them get more motivated, imo. Ace app is kind of okay if you work it. But it is very very basic. Facebook groups are easy, but people aren’t talking much there either. Starting to think Ace people are also a bit asocial, hmm… 🙂January 19, 2020 at 7:39 am #31455
Btw, here’s that facebook group if you hadn’t found it yet, I joined: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1417184981747489/January 19, 2020 at 1:53 pm #31456
Thanks Suzy, I’ll look into it now.January 25, 2020 at 4:50 pm #31463
I totally agree with what you stated Sandra. I’m a Homoromantic, but also looking for friendship as well. People will outreach, I outreach back, then nothing. It takes two, and both parties have to put in the effort. I’m more than willing, but it does seem that not everyone is as willing as I am. Its extremely frustrating.March 31, 2020 at 7:39 am #31667
yep that’s the dichotomy we really should flesh out in the asexual community. Everyone speaks of a desire and in terms of finding intimacy but then is inconsistent in pursuing behaviors that lead to that objective. I think one issue is there’s perhaps less homogeneity than there is in the gay or lesbians communities. They have a defined and shared culture that creates relationships based on structure and descriptive interests– daddy/son, bear, whatever. The very fact we do not have many such terms shows the culture is undefined, uncertain, disinterested in the social labels and signals that help people find each other.
We are extremely heterogeneous in our searches. We do not want to be intimate with just anyone AND ALSO we want to limit to some extent the terms and conditions. People in the past probably gravitated to social outlets that made bro- or frau- mance more likely and more accepted. We do not have much of that around lately. it IS all online but online only works when people filter each other and commit time to the most likely growth potentials.March 31, 2020 at 5:41 pm #31673
I agree with you, Sandra. It gets exhausting making the effort and sometimes it feels like you’re flogging a dead horse. I’m new to being ace and haven’t wanted to date for years so I have no idea how dating life will be for me now but I’m could tell very quickly that it’s going to be difficult. It’s already a bit stressful as I’ve put a lot of effort on my profile for the sites I’m on and a lot of times you see people have just written ‘I’ll add something later’ or ‘ask me’ and you automatically know they haven’t been on there account for months or years. Luckily I’m happy being single and and can be patient.
I also don’t feel that there is a great lot of care taken on these sites and apps compared to others technically and support-wise. I was pretty sure before that there was no one monitoring this site but this was confirmed when I reported being harrassed by someone on this site in the Contact section a few days ago and I haven’t heard a word back. I think we’re all going to have to learn coding and chip in on all this technology stuff!🤣March 31, 2020 at 5:43 pm #31674
By the way, I’ve just joined some Ace groups on Facebook and I’m a talker so you’ll see me there! I’m already taking up space on all the walls! 😁April 2, 2020 at 1:52 am #31675
WARNING TO EVERYONE: ACECORD on discord is NOT a good representation of inclusive friendly healthy chat for asexual community. They seem a bit juvenile, self-absorbed and emo.
The Ace Association seems more mellow but has less chat activity. catch-22
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