Disappearing acts

[Tony]

So, you’re talking to someone new. They seem so cool, sweet, maybe even compatible and then poof! They are gone. No rhyme or reason why, no goodbye, they just decided that you’re not even worth replying to anymore. Yeah, it’s not fun. And I always tell myself, “next time I won’t get my hopes up.” But I guess it’s only human nature to let your mind dream a little, when talking to someone you’re enjoying getting to know. I’ll persist on, in hopes that someday a sweet hearted woman will think that I am worth sticking around for. Until then, at least I have my shows and Video games, right? At least they aren’t going anywhere. O.o

[Lori C]

So, sorry to hear this, but yeah, some people have no manners. Good for you in remaining positive!

What games are you playing?

[Tony]

Hey, thanks for that. Yeah, it happens and I don’t know, I guess some people think it’s kinder to just go away as opposed to telling someone, “ya know I don’t think you’re what I’m looking for.” I understand that. Rejection just kinda sucks sometimes but oh well, have to keep it moving. I’m currently playing Wolfenstein 2. And have far cry primal on deck. I see you listed Bioshock on your page! Heck yeah! High 5 for that. ✋

[Sandra]

Hi Tony

That happens to me a lot in the asexual dating scene. Apart form those who just really want to be my friend, occasionally they stick around, and some become friends on Facebook and don’t message as much, but it’s still nice.

– Unless they are on the more sexual end of the spectrum or really not asexual at all, they they chase if they really like me, but I don’t hold my breath now and am not that sexual as they often turn out to be. I am in the UK but like younger foreign guys, so until one ace heteroromantic turns up over here who is serious abut me, then I just focus on my career and work. I have a soulmate I know it, I can feel him, but not sure if I will meet him this lifetime, or if he even knows I exist at this point. I will just keep loving me.

Don’t you find that those you are really interested in are not really interested in you and vice versa?

[Tony]

Hey, thanks for the reply. Yeah, friends can be cool for sure. Sometimes they may even become an important part of the puzzle of life.

That’s pretty cool that you feel your soulmate like that. We all want to find something special. it’s great that you are doing so many projects and helping people along the way. Keep doing what you’re doing.

Hmm, That does happen probably more often than not. And when there is mutual interest there are so many different barriers/obstacles that can arise. Just have to find someone that is worth the effort.

[Anonymous]

Happens to me all the time. In any scene.

[Lori C]

Hey Tony,

If you liked Far Cry Primal, check out Assassin’s Creed Origins. Takes place in Egypt and there’s tons of crocodiles, lions, hippos, and elephants to fight/hunt.

[Anonymous]

That really just…sucks. nothing wrong with at least saying goodbye or telling the person you think you both won’t get along. I just joined now I’m scared this will happen to me..

[Tony]

Sorry to hear that FoxWitch.

Hey Lori! Hope you’re having fun wrecking havoc in Egypt! Yes, Origins is definitely on my list. I have to wrap up with Wolfenstein 2 and monster Hunter first though.

I hear ya, Lisa. Don’t let it discourage you though. Sometimes, I think like, I could be such a good fit for someone and vice versa but if they don’t see me in the same light, I have to just realign and wait for the day that the right one does.

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Tony.

[Anonymous]

I feel ya. Invested faith and hope into people online, only to be let down similarly to you.

Communication online seems to be so superficial for most that until I meet them in person, I rarely regard that anything shared is attributing to the forming of a relationship.

For that reason I think it’s best to meet someone in person sooner rather than later. The real person, to me, is someone I can engage with face-to-face.

All the best (:

[Anonymous]

Reply to LisaLeslie0613

Ah ghosting. Ghosting is the worst. Unfortunately that is the nature of what technology has done to us. It’s great that we can connect in so many ways, example being, a forum for folks like ourselves to connect with each other!

Like Tony said, don’t be discouraged! But it is something that you have to accept unfortunately. People ghost because they don’t want to take the responsibility of disappointing or hurting others, which is pretty bs if you ask me.

[Mara Copland]

I was in a LDR with someone for a year. We talked for HOURS every day. She was going to visit, I bought her plane ticket, everything. She got anxious before the flight and canceled like… three days before, and then a few months later, sent me an email saying “I’ll talk to you tonight. I love you.”

Never heard from her again. It took me three months of trying to contact her to get through and she just told me she changed her mind about being with me.

It was like.. five years ago but that broke me. I don’t think I’ll recover from that.

[Anonymous]

Oh Mara, reading that made me feel incredibly sad. That’s awful :[
I feel like at times when I start connecting with others, I’m incredibly blunt and straight forward. If it doesn’t work out, or I’m having doubts I will let you know.

Shame that others don’t share the same sentiment.

But I hope you’re doin’ better now Mara. I’m sure it isn’t easy to move past something like that.

[Tony]

Hey, Druid, that’s a dope shirt, bro. I hear ya, some solid points there. The way I look at it, I know there aren’t many ace ladies locally, so, I’d even be willing to figure something out a bit long distance if the connection was there but I can’t even get to the point of actual phone conversation lately, nevermind meeting in person. It’s hard to make a connection only through text. I can be patient and understanding but ya need communication, ya know? Thanks, all the best to you as well.

“People ghost because they don’t want to take the responsibility of disappointing or hurting others, which is pretty bs if you ask me.”
I feel ya, bro. Getting ghosted is a bummer, especially when you really thought ya could have something going.

Damn, Mara, that is awful. Not only did you invest time and energy but money too. Sorry to hear that story, hope things are going better.

[Anonymous]

Tony, yeah, I’ve had some interesting and thoughtful talks with a few ladies on other dating apps, but then they just suddenly stop messaging back, honestly even looking over the messages, I didn’t say anything wrong, but yeah it’s pretty lame.

But I suppose there isn’t much you can do about that. Just keep on keepin’ on my dude!

[Mara Copland]

Thanks guys <3

I still have real issues trusting people. She screwed me up *good*.

I’ve had it happen on dating sites recently. I was talking with a girl for a while and I guess she missed the ‘asexual’ part of my profile. She asked me what it was, I explained that I’m a grey ace and what that meant. Never heard from her again.

Sigh. Aces have it really rough sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Online dating is hard enough without the added ace filter :/ Most stopped replying when they understood what it meant to be asexual. Or they go the complete opposite way and try to convince me that I just didn’t know what I was missing…

Honestly, I’m just so glad for stuff like this – I didn’t even realise there WAS an ace community until recently. While there still isn’t really anyone I’ve found near me, it’s nice even just knowing there are people out there.

[Author]

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