Depressed Asexuals

[Anonymous]

This topic isn’t about being depressed cause you’re an ace but being depressed and being an ace.
I’m trying to figure out if I should be with someone who has the same mental issues as myself.
I guess there’s pros and cons.

Pros of of depressed partner:
they’ll understand why I want to lay in bed for 2weeks straight under my covers and cry all day. They’ll understand suddenly cancelled plans due to anxiety. They’ll understand me just wanting to be alone for a while.
Cons of depressed partner: not sure

Pros of a non depressed partner: they’re mostly upbeat which is what I need in my life. They can motivate me when I’m feeling down,drag me out of the house.
Cons of a non depressed partner being: they won’t understand and think it’s something I can just shake off(THAT WOULD PISS ME OFF TO THE HIGHEST).
they’ll get annoyed when I need time to regroup and get my head together.(that could take days or weeks or even months)😢
Adjusting to meds can take weeks or months to work so thats another story.

[Anonymous]

And I actually mean someone who has suffered from mental illness.
Not saying I’m searching for someone who is currently depressed. I’m mean if they happen to be and we hit it off that’s fine too.

[Rachel]

I think you can find people who are caring and put effort into understanding your mental disposition who are not sufferers of mental health issues themselves. For example, someone who has a family member (or members) that have struggled. Granted, some have suffered abuse from certain people with certain mental issues, but not all.
I’ve dealt with a lot of depression and anxiety in the past. From experience, it is best for my own well being not to get too deeply involved with other people who suffer from significant metal health issues. I run the risk of putting myself into triggering situations which could exacerbate my underlying issues. That is just my own experience though. I suppose it could be different for others.

[Anonymous]

I agree with everything you said.
Especially the part about someone who’s understanding. That’s mainly what I’m looking for.
And yeah I don’t think I could handle a partner with deep mental issues.
I already have a hard time dealing with myself.
I’m not complicated but sometimes emotionally I can be a mess.
Thanks for the reply 🙂

[danny]

Hi sorry to hear about your depression I’ve got two friends who live with it, try and get some vitamin B12 and a cube of very dark chocolate in the morning and evening there is study that show that it can help ‘take a few weeks to get into your system though’ also blueberries boost brain function by 13 percent ‘or something like that’nice with yoghurt,wall nuts good for cognitive function also, I need to get some in for when I get anxious thoughts.

Dan.

[Anonymous]

that is a good question. It is best to find someone who is understanding of your situation, patient, caring, kind and loving. Whether they also suffer from mental health or not is not too important. Because eventually everyone suffers from depression or grief in the end whether they acknowledge it or not – no one can live this life without suffering. It is how they choose to cope, and if they can put up with the emotional aspect of caring for you as well as practical help. In the end, when it comes to mental health – even with help you suffer alone and it is up to you to try stay on top of things best as you can. Journaling, exercise, quotes and hobbies tend to help when experiencing a lot of emotional. It is very important to try to focus on a few practical tasks each day, sleep well and eat well too – can be tedious but is necessary for good overall health. Also take medicines if needed and vitamins to balance things.

[Anonymous]

Hey Danny.
Yeah I already take all of those vitamins and herbs and I exercise daily but Unfortunately that’s not enough for what I’m dealing with.
I’m in Zoloft right now which has been great for the sadness but not anxiety. But I still go up and down. I just have to try and find the right meds.

[Anonymous]

Thanks Liz.

[danny]

Hi Paris

Sorry to hear that’s not enough med wise, I agree it’s not perfect it helped me a little with anxiousness a few years ago when I experienced it,Im sure there is a solution to it somehow its just finding the right holistic ballance.good luck

Dan.

[Sav]

I’ve dated both and this is what I’ve found.

The main pro to dating someone with mental illness is that they understand that this bout of depression/anxiety/hallucinations/delusions will not be the last, however, because they suffer as well, if you are “in the pits” for too long it will exacerbate their mental illness and that leads to resentment, lack of empathy, and you both spiral down further.

The main pro to dating someone without mental illness is that (hopefully) they are balanced. You don’t have to worry about their cycles, as well. The con is the same as for the partner with mental illness; The well of understanding can dry up.

Ultimately, there is no concrete answer to this question. You have to look for the positive outliers of these two types of people and that may take some time. I wish you luck in finding a good partner and am completely open to questions about my experiences, if you have any. 🙂

[Dale L. Masters]

I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
The worst is the anxiety. I’ve got the PTSD under control (thank God!) after 10 years of CBT.
I can tell I’m depressed through physiological signs, like not being able to concentrate, having a low energy level, being in more pain than normal…things like that.

I am on SSD for a very long list of disorders. Been in chronic pain for 39 years…but worked 60-90 hrs a week in spite of it.

When I realised I couldn’t work anymore, I went into a tailspin. Tried to commit suicide 5 times that year. My mom took me in…& saved my life.

Please friend me if you need to talk.

[Anonymous]

Thank you Sav🙂

[Anonymous]

Hello Dale.
Yes I didn’t realize till maybe some years ago that depression does cause me physical pains as well. At least now I can pinpoint it with the low energy,taking 6 naps a day😂😫can’t focus etc…. never had hallucinations or heard voices but I have been battling depression since I was 9,so for 32 yrs now. Of course it’s gotten worse as I’ve got older. But for me finding the right meds is priceless!! Right now I’m on Zoloft and it’s been good but I think it’s time to up the dosage. On top of the severe depression I also get PMDD and seasonal depression😣
thanks for the reply😀

[Author]

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