Asexualitic : Meet Asexuals › Forums › General discussion › Coming out to family and friends. ( stories and ideas )
- This topic has 8 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 9 months ago by Meadow Rain.
April 18, 2016 at 1:57 am #27423Twilight ClarkeSpectator
Hello, I’m new here and to forums as well. And essentially it is what it says in the title. I personally not sure how to.. I’ve told few of my friends had they had no idea and thought it was about plant reproduction.. :/ help?April 18, 2016 at 5:02 am #27429AnonymousInactive
Well unfortunately as part of a not so well-known sexuality we are fighting a bit of an uphill battle. Not only do we have to put our heart and soul on the line but we also have to play teacher for a bit just so every it on the same page. Just know that you are not alone in this fight. Not only do you have a whole site filled with some personal experiences to sift through but you have the internet as it’s whole as your resource.
This is important to you, it’s the whole reason you’ve done all the research yourself in the first place. If your having trouble explaining it, then find a few sites or books that can help get your point across. Express to them how important This all is to you and if they truly care they will at least give it a skim for you.
I’m not going to lie, with the research I poored into asexuality before coming to the realisation I almost decided to make a PowerPoint presentation to come out to my parents. With time, and a little patience on both ends…I think we can all overcome these roadblocks.April 18, 2016 at 11:01 am #27432Twilight ClarkeSpectator
Thank you, for replying ^^ Uphill battle, indeed! Got to be optimistic, will get there one day and Aphobia, be a thing of the past. One must hope 🙂 And thanks again for the suggestion, I have found a book quite interesting: The Invisable Sexual Orientation by Julie Sonder Decker. I might lend it, to whoever I’m coming out to.. Perhaps it could be easier? And oh dear.. But I could see that happening. XD Powerpoint runned by Ace :pJune 8, 2016 at 1:07 am #27597Jill GaudioSpectator
I have told my closest friends, but I am sad to say that most think that I am just in denial and will change eventually.
My mother behaved completely like a psycho when I told her and called me “freak” for about a year. I forgave her over time because I think she is ok with it now, we just do not talk about it. My dad, probably the best person on the planet, accepted it without question and has not brought it up since.
I have found that I am happy just not coming out at all anymore. It’s nobody’s business what I am. Even to myself I think, “I am what I am” and I do not owe anyone an explanation. I am now able to be happy without a label.
I hope if you do tell those closest to you that you will have a good experience, just be prepared for some non-understanding and judgement.June 8, 2016 at 3:07 am #27600AnonymousInactive
I was quite open about how much I couldn’t stand sex…it was taken as a bit of a joke and certainly didn’t stop my husband from hassling me anyway, there was one time I hid in a wardrobe to avoid him!! My family just said I had intimacy issues, my friends just suggested that my husband was a poor lover, the psychologist wanted to know had I been molested or raped as a child…..How about just accepting that I have never liked sex, I don’ t need it, it makes me uncomfortable and I am no less a person without it?! I give up trying to explain it to people…now I just say I am not interested and leave it at that!June 8, 2016 at 3:11 am #27601Jill GaudioSpectator
“I give up trying to explain it to people…now I just say I am not interested and leave it at that!”
Took the words right out of my mouth. I have found that most everyone will drop it after that.July 10, 2016 at 2:25 am #27717ShawnaSpectator
Well, I came home one day (after something of a vacation) to my family. We were all talking and catching up and my littlest sister (she has autism and is just learning about guys herself) asked me if I was a lesbian. I was totally shocked and said no (my family isn’t homophobes, just awkward). I later learned from my oldersister that everyone thought I was gay because I have no interest in guys. I asked her if she knew what asexual is and she did. I haven’t come out as asexual to any other family members because then my dad would be awkward and it’s none of their business anyways, but all my friends know since most of us are in the same boat (even though I’m the only one ‘out’). I often like to say I’m as gay as I am straight. Although it confuses people at first, once they understand their a bit put off to insult me. 😀July 11, 2016 at 10:11 pm #27723AnonymousInactive
I do beleive everyone has her or his own context but I strongly advise against coming out. By my personal experience, I can say people put sex into the same cathegories such as air, food and water. They won’t beleive one can happily exist deprived of it and jump to conclusions. Is she gay? Was she raped by her father? Is she waiting for Disney’s Prince Charming? and so on…August 19, 2016 at 9:28 am #27835Meadow RainSpectator
Not sure if I like the idea of ‘coming out’ either, seems like it allows some people around us to keep being their constant inconsiderate selves, like stepping over verbal, physical and sexual boundaries and sexually harassing people then looking at Asexuals’ as if we are the weird ones. I think many average ‘sexual people’, have a hard time dealing with aggressive people never mind us who might be classified as ‘asexual’.
I worry that it would,in the minds of sexually aggressive people, allow them to justify their bad behavior by thinking, Oh it’s because they are asexual that they don’t like my,bad comments, nasty jokes, inappropriate touching or sexual harrasment. Or even the demanding to know about our sex lives in the first place.
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