..can a asexual person?

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  • #29346
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi totally new to the concept.. and not to familiar with the terminology or all the subcategories under asexuality.. but can a asexual person find people attractive? Consider them attractive, but not want to be sexually interactive with them. Like the other day I went out drinking with some friends and just was chit chatting with a particular friend who happened to be very beautiful, my other friends said I was super flirting with her.. yes I think she’s hot.. but never in my mind was “oh I want to be with her”.. can an asexual person flirt? And if I was flirting is that normal? I have had numerous sexual partners and I never felt a connection with any of them.. I just do the deed because it’s expected of me.. when I decide I don’t want to.. and weeks or months pass without the interaction we break up.. so it seems all of my partners are sex fiends..the thought of dating again is stressing me.. knowing that all I find are people who base the relationship on sex. I do enjoy companionship.. I enjoy some intimacy.. some kissing ..holding hands, cuddling even “heavy petting” sometimes.. where do I fall under? Am I even asexual?

    #29348
    Sandra
    Participant

    Hi Jay Avila

    The full definition of asexuality is lack of sexual attraction and/or little to no interest in sexual activities. Most people know it only as the first part – the lack of sexual attraction – it is important to note the and/or part. The spectrum of asexuality is a broad one and there are many subcategories of it which you will probably need to explore. But in the main, if you get the need, urge, or want, to have sex with someone ever, then you aren’t asexual. And if you don’t get the need, urge, or want to have sex with someone ever, then you are asexual.

    Asexuals can still find people attractive in many ways, such as intellectually, aesthetically, spiritually, emotionally, romantically etc, without feeling sexual attraction. Some people also experience arousal, but no sexual attraction.

    Some asexuals do flirt and some do think others are hot and do like touching – although they would often be seen in the more Grey Area of asexuality. In my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book http://amzn.to/2BxqbVm I interviewed 46 asexuals around the globe for it and across the spectrum, and I redefine Grey A to mean Grey Areas. So Grey Asexual, Grey A, Grey Sexual – are usually grouped together to mean a person who is on the asexual spectrum, but who does experience sexual attraction in rare or limited, or specific circumstances, but not enough to want to want on it – And I am not that definition, as I never experience sexual attraction, however, I do add the Grey A, after my heteroromantic part of my classification, because I have the Grey Area of passionate kissing with clothes on, even though my behaviour is seen as somewhat sexual in terms of the heavy breathing that goes with it etc, and I do experience high levels of arousal and in a serious committed relationship, I don’t mind being touched in a certain area. I also sometimes engage in solo activity – so I feel that I have Grey Areas, as opposed to someone who is a heteroromantic who just likes a bit of lip kissing and holding hands.

    If you like women and feel romantic attraction towards them, but no sexual attraction at all, then you would be a homoromantic! If you think you have Grey Areas then you may want to also consider whether or not you are a Grey Asexual or my definition of a Grey A (sometimes spelt Gray Asexual).

    I hope that helps you. I have a website with a blog http://www.asexualise.com if you want to find out more about asexuality and a channel http://www.youtube.com/c/asexualisemyasexuallife

    Sandra

    #29354
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    The answer is yes, you can. Theres no specific set of rules for being ace.

    #29356
    Joy
    Participant

    What they both said.

    Just try to remember that there are different levels of attraction and it varies for everyone.

    You have aesthetic attraction, i.e. a painting looks nice, that person looks nice and it can stop there.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Joy.

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