I have other issues so asexuality was just something else to find ways to disguise. I am also partially transmale, androgyne, and gender fluid, and adding the panromantic and demisexual labels is recent. I used to joke I was “monosexual” and found it was easier to hang onto a bad relationship than to go through the trouble of getting another one. When my parents passed on I decided I no longer had to be in a relationship to prove myself normal, so have been single for the past four years while teaching in Thailand.
I can only imagine sex if it’s with my last “ex” and I suspect an underlying reason for moving to Thailand, at least subconsciously, was to make sure I didn’t feel pressure to date someone new just to appear “normal.”
Yet I’m lonely and won’t stop missing my “ex” so I realize I’ll probably have to go through the year-plus close friendship I seem to require to ever feel sexual attraction for anyone.
My feeling of revulsion is so strong it takes a real “stealth male” to insinuate himself into my life as a “friend.”
I’m panromantic, and probably pansexual if a female or other gender type were to be persistent enough to keep pursuing me. Until now, only the most macho of males have had enough testosterone to ignore constant rejection until they become close friends with me by joining me in my extreme activities-doing bird photography in swamps and on mountains, camping in remote areas, doing jitterbug/ballroom dancing, traveling, jamming with other musicians, being into health food, comedy, physics, and astronomy. He almost has to be obsessive and hyperactive to enjoy being around me.
Most/all women I’ve met before think my interests are GROSS and mostly seem to want to shop, eat at restaurants, drink, chase men, and have their nails done, which seems like a crushing bore to me so, if invited to come along, I usually find excuses to disappear.
The typical USA male seems to only want beer, burgers, sex, watching sports from the couch, so don’t much interest me either. OK, I do like to watch sports, but not enough to lay on the couch all day, unless reading a book with a Kindle app.