Mandy

@slayerfest98 Active 3 years, 9 months ago

 

Looking for
About me
  • Things I am looking for in a person are:

    Right now, I’m just looking for friends on this site. I’m in the middle of a life transition into a new apartment and new job in a new place (LA-area), and it would be great to meet some ace friends with similar interests who really get me. I’d love to chat on this site, on Tumblr, or on Whatsapp with a friend who is interested in talking about YA literature (especially fantasy), British television or panel game shows, creative writing (I’m a novelist and NaNoWriMo liaison), cats/dogs/pets (I love all living creatures), TV fandoms (current obsession: NCIS), tabletop gaming (I play DnD, Pathfinder, and others), graduate school (I’m in year 5 of 6 of my PhD), history (my PhD is in Victorian studies), podcasts (MFM!!, Night Vale, all the true crime podcasts), nonprofit work and social justice (I’ve done a lot of political volunteering, especially for young adults and LGBT+ causes), or just genuinely what’s up in your life and how you’re feeling about it. If you think we can be internet friends, reach out to me here or via Tumblr direct message to @phdbff.

    Although I want to be as open-minded as possible, I’ve had several very damaging relationships with cis men (yes, even just my male friends). Because of that, my friendship circle generally tends to be made up of women/womyn/fem/female-identifying folx. In real life, my three best friends are all bi & pan women — who aren’t even ace — and yet, they’ve been able to understand me in a way that I just don’t think a lot of other people do.

    About me

    My name is Mandy, and I’m a 27-year-old professor of English (and, when I’m lucky, an occasional film studies class!) I’m strong, independent, a little too educated, and have worked hard to be successful on my own terms. I’m an INFJ (”the advocate” personality type), meaning that I really care about helping others and making a positive impact on the world. INFJs are also characterized as extroverted introverts, which I find fitting — I love meeting people, chatting, and being in genuine and mutually supportive friendships with others, so most people do read me as a bubbly extrovert. I just need a little space at the end of the day, like introverts do, to avoid feeling emotionally drained, and I also live alone because it’s important to me to be able to manage my own space in a way that is healthy for me.

    Though astrological signs aren’t a 100% real science, I do think that they’re super fun, and mine is a good description of me. I’m an Aquarius on the cusp of Pisces, which is the ”cusp of sensitivity.” I’m really empathetic, sometimes at my own expense. I always want to help people AND animals, and would do just about anything to avoid hurting someone. If I can help them instead, all the better! Seriously, last summer, I was at PetSmart, and I ended up buying a tiny brown Betta fish because it wasn’t as colorful as the other fish, and I felt so bad and guilty that no one would ever buy this little tiny brown fish. And you know what? I still have this Betta fish one year later, and she’s big, healthy, spoiled, and strong!

    I think the Aquarius/Pisces cusp is also a helpful descriptor because I’m both the most rational and the most spiritual person you’ll meet — at the same time. I love science and technology, and even listen to several popular science podcasts so I can always know what’s new in the world. I’m also a scholar of Charles Darwin and have loved learning about the scientific revolution. And yet, I’m also a certified Reiki healer, I identify as Pagan (a little Wiccan, tbh), I meditate regularly, and as a Victorian historian, love learning about and even using Tarot cards and other late-19th-century divination games. Personally, I think you can believe in science but also have a healthy, enthusiastic spiritual life — though I suspect many of my rational/scientist friends find me a little ”woo-woo.”

    Orientation

    If I could create my own romantic attraction label, I’d call myself a veryromantic ace. I suppose panromantic is the actually helpful label, but here’s what I mean: If I’m romantically attracted to someone and truly comfortable with them, I love cuddles, snuggles, hand-holds, hugs, sleeping side-by-side and small (short! not long!) kisses. Gender is completely unimportant to me in terms of falling for someone — I’m much more drawn to a person if they are filled with life, energy, and contagious intellectual/emotional passion, than anything else. I have a near-perfect memory somewhere better than photographic but not quite eidetic (read: somewhere between Shawn from Psych and Reid from Criminal Minds) which can make relationships, even friendships, really difficult. I tend to need a lot of new ideas and stimulation to avoid getting bored or frustrated with the same old same old. So, on the one hand, my ideal partnership is full of excitement, like traveling and constantly learning and teaching each other new things. But on the other hand, I do have hopeless-romantic ideals — like raising a puppy with my partner, cooking them nice vegan dinners, buying them flowers, gifts, and other thoughtful surprises, someday having a romantic outdoor wedding, etc. I’m a nurturer with so much love to give.

    When I do develop romantic feelings for someone, my love language is physical touch; but because I’m ace, I’ve had some major trouble finding someone who really understands how to communicate love and affection with me. Allosexual folx often want to escalate from hugs/snuggles to more, which I have absolutely no interest in or need for. Meanwhile, some ace folx and many aro folx (I once had an almost-successful partnership with a male-identifying aroace) aren’t comfortable with the level of physical touch that I’m interested in, and of course, I completely respect that. It just makes the possibility of finding a romantic ace partner with similar needs (someday — again, I’m not quite settled into my life well enough to think about a relationship right now) a little daunting.

  • Name

    Mandy

    Age

    31

    Country

    United States

    City

    Los Angeles

    I am a

    Woman

    Looking for a

    Woman

    Marital status

    Single

    Language

    English

    Ethnicity

    Caucasian

    Faith

    Pagan

    Interests

    Writing

  • Base
    Name

    Mandy

    Age

    31

    Country

    United States

    City

    Los Angeles

    I am a

    Woman

    Looking for a

    Woman

    Marital status

    Single

    Language

    English

    Ethnicity

    Caucasian

    Faith

    Pagan

    Interests

    Writing

  • Looking For
    Things I am looking for in a person are:

    Right now, I’m just looking for friends on this site. I’m in the middle of a life transition into a new apartment and new job in a new place (LA-area), and it would be great to meet some ace friends with similar interests who really get me. I’d love to chat on this site, on Tumblr, or on Whatsapp with a friend who is interested in talking about YA literature (especially fantasy), British television or panel game shows, creative writing (I’m a novelist and NaNoWriMo liaison), cats/dogs/pets (I love all living creatures), TV fandoms (current obsession: NCIS), tabletop gaming (I play DnD, Pathfinder, and others), graduate school (I’m in year 5 of 6 of my PhD), history (my PhD is in Victorian studies), podcasts (MFM!!, Night Vale, all the true crime podcasts), nonprofit work and social justice (I’ve done a lot of political volunteering, especially for young adults and LGBT+ causes), or just genuinely what’s up in your life and how you’re feeling about it. If you think we can be internet friends, reach out to me here or via Tumblr direct message to @phdbff.

    Although I want to be as open-minded as possible, I’ve had several very damaging relationships with cis men (yes, even just my male friends). Because of that, my friendship circle generally tends to be made up of women/womyn/fem/female-identifying folx. In real life, my three best friends are all bi & pan women — who aren’t even ace — and yet, they’ve been able to understand me in a way that I just don’t think a lot of other people do.

    About me

    My name is Mandy, and I’m a 27-year-old professor of English (and, when I’m lucky, an occasional film studies class!) I’m strong, independent, a little too educated, and have worked hard to be successful on my own terms. I’m an INFJ (”the advocate” personality type), meaning that I really care about helping others and making a positive impact on the world. INFJs are also characterized as extroverted introverts, which I find fitting — I love meeting people, chatting, and being in genuine and mutually supportive friendships with others, so most people do read me as a bubbly extrovert. I just need a little space at the end of the day, like introverts do, to avoid feeling emotionally drained, and I also live alone because it’s important to me to be able to manage my own space in a way that is healthy for me.

    Though astrological signs aren’t a 100% real science, I do think that they’re super fun, and mine is a good description of me. I’m an Aquarius on the cusp of Pisces, which is the ”cusp of sensitivity.” I’m really empathetic, sometimes at my own expense. I always want to help people AND animals, and would do just about anything to avoid hurting someone. If I can help them instead, all the better! Seriously, last summer, I was at PetSmart, and I ended up buying a tiny brown Betta fish because it wasn’t as colorful as the other fish, and I felt so bad and guilty that no one would ever buy this little tiny brown fish. And you know what? I still have this Betta fish one year later, and she’s big, healthy, spoiled, and strong!

    I think the Aquarius/Pisces cusp is also a helpful descriptor because I’m both the most rational and the most spiritual person you’ll meet — at the same time. I love science and technology, and even listen to several popular science podcasts so I can always know what’s new in the world. I’m also a scholar of Charles Darwin and have loved learning about the scientific revolution. And yet, I’m also a certified Reiki healer, I identify as Pagan (a little Wiccan, tbh), I meditate regularly, and as a Victorian historian, love learning about and even using Tarot cards and other late-19th-century divination games. Personally, I think you can believe in science but also have a healthy, enthusiastic spiritual life — though I suspect many of my rational/scientist friends find me a little ”woo-woo.”

    Orientation

    If I could create my own romantic attraction label, I’d call myself a veryromantic ace. I suppose panromantic is the actually helpful label, but here’s what I mean: If I’m romantically attracted to someone and truly comfortable with them, I love cuddles, snuggles, hand-holds, hugs, sleeping side-by-side and small (short! not long!) kisses. Gender is completely unimportant to me in terms of falling for someone — I’m much more drawn to a person if they are filled with life, energy, and contagious intellectual/emotional passion, than anything else. I have a near-perfect memory somewhere better than photographic but not quite eidetic (read: somewhere between Shawn from Psych and Reid from Criminal Minds) which can make relationships, even friendships, really difficult. I tend to need a lot of new ideas and stimulation to avoid getting bored or frustrated with the same old same old. So, on the one hand, my ideal partnership is full of excitement, like traveling and constantly learning and teaching each other new things. But on the other hand, I do have hopeless-romantic ideals — like raising a puppy with my partner, cooking them nice vegan dinners, buying them flowers, gifts, and other thoughtful surprises, someday having a romantic outdoor wedding, etc. I’m a nurturer with so much love to give.

    When I do develop romantic feelings for someone, my love language is physical touch; but because I’m ace, I’ve had some major trouble finding someone who really understands how to communicate love and affection with me. Allosexual folx often want to escalate from hugs/snuggles to more, which I have absolutely no interest in or need for. Meanwhile, some ace folx and many aro folx (I once had an almost-successful partnership with a male-identifying aroace) aren’t comfortable with the level of physical touch that I’m interested in, and of course, I completely respect that. It just makes the possibility of finding a romantic ace partner with similar needs (someday — again, I’m not quite settled into my life well enough to think about a relationship right now) a little daunting.

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