@roadlesstraveled active 5 days, 21 hours ago


Looking for
About me
  • Things I am looking for in a person are:

    -A desire to grow as an individual, and to spend a lifetime in search of the depths of one’s own inner and outer worlds.  As Charlie Chaplin once said, a wish ”to make this life a wonderful adventure!”

    -Comfort in one’s own personal space, i.e. you cherish alone time, and are not desperate to be surrounded by others for fear of spending too much time with yourself…

    -A near-endless amount of curiosity, i.e. the capacity to question everything, and to think for yourself…

    -The desire to be in a relationship that does not have a basis in codependency.  Not feeling as though someone needs to ’complete you’ or ’be your missing half’.

    -Self-accountability, i.e. taking responsibility for one’s own actions.  ’Oh woe is me’ and ’The world owes me a livin’ have gotten old…

    Um, have I just described MYSELF here?!  Urg…

    About me

    A bit shy about posting a personal photo, (I know, not fair, but it’s an important point with me, though happy to share if and when we strike up a conversation). I am, however, continually being told that I look like a cross between Michael Corleone from The Godfather and Neo from the Matrix. In other words, a short, slender Sicilian with a baby face; sans the mob connections and the ability to fly and freeze bullets in midair.

    I will start off by saying that I would place myself on the ’Grey-Romantic’/’Heteromantic’ spectrum of asexuality, for the simple fact that both an intellectual as well as a ’feeling’ connection of some depth are quite appealing within the context of a relationship.  In essence, the sharing of a bond based upon independence and personal growth amongst two human beings who seek truly to understand the depths of themselves as individuals, while also desiring companionship along the way.  Let me say, however, that all of these categorizations falling under ’Asexuality’ are quite new to me.  I simply thought long and hard about the myriad elements that compose my inner world, and came to wonder, ”Could there be others out there who harbor the same unique feelings about all of this that I do?  Is that a ’thing’?”  Yep, it’s a thing 🙂

    I’m a quiet bookworm with super-corny slapstick undertones, into watching thought-provoking indie films, i.e. ’Upstream Color’ (a seminal work), ’Ink’, ’Travelers & Magicians’, ’Le Quattro Volte’, running my own personal/private chef business, composing music, creating my own wild-foraged herbal medicines, and spending a great deal of time immersed in my books, researching many and varied topics, everything from herbalism/health and healing, Microzymas and the Primo Vascular System, Jungian psychology and Spiral Dynamics, Permaculture Design principles, ’alternative’/spiritual principles of physics and engineering based upon Goethe’s ideal of ”observe nature and copy it”, fantasy and gothic horror (’His Dark Materials’, ’The Bloody Chamber’), history and lore of the American Indians, ancient Celtic folklore, etc. I was also brought up in the restaurant industry (catering chef, line cook), and can whip up a rather enticing array of Italian cuisine and international pastries (at least, that’s what my cat tells me.) And lest I not forget, I’m quite the nature boy, and feel at home wandering about in out-of-the-way, secluded places. I’ve chosen quite the unique path, and I very much enjoy meandering along the unpaved roads of life. Let it also be said that although I do not desire to rear children of my own, I absolutely cherish time spent amongst little ones; particularly those of a sharp wit, sweet temperament, and an overly active imagination, with whom I have a near-infinite amount of patience.

    I have eclectic musical tastes, but am drawn towards music with some measure of depth, i.e. Loreena McKennit, Ellis Paul, Miles Davis, Bjork, Chopin (dig the Nocturnes), anything Bossa nova, Maria Callas (in my opinion, the greatest voice ever captured throughout the short history of recorded music), Alfred Deller, and a whole slew of independent folk singer/songwriters whose names are not all too widely known. Of course, that doesn’t preclude the fact that 80’s one-hit wonders also tend to get me all reflective and introspective.

    As I said earlier, I’m an absurdly corny fellow who laughs at old-school goofy stuff, i.e. The Muppets, Red Skelton, The Three Stooges, Sanford & Son, Caddyshack, and anything by Mel Brooks (I will die loving pratfalls and slapstick.)  I also really dig the early work of Maria Bamford (’The Maria Bamford Show’ totally ROCKS!)  Dark humor is also a draw.  I mean, it can’t be all ’wakka-wakka-wakka’ and ’nyuk-nyuk-nyuk’, now can it?  The point here is that laughter is of paramount importance in my life.

    Basically, if you dig stuff like this, we may get along just fine:

    I’m quite driven in terms of fulfilling the inner callings of my many and varied interests. ”As much as I definitely enjoy solitude,” possibly, maybe, I’m looking to introduce some feminine energy into my own little field of influence (and that comes with no small amount of trust, mind you.) Honestly, just sitting by the fire, or in a quiet cafe, or beside a waterfall (I’ve got my hidden spots), lounging back together and diving into the world of imagination and life reflection; and how we as silly humans can build a more rapport-based future than the one in which so many currently toil; sounds just lovely. And when the time comes to part, well, off we go, back into our respective lives, both looking forward to the next point in time in which to share what we’ve learned since the previous encounter. In other words, an open-minded, ever-evolving type of friend and companion with whom I can share a cup of Chai tea, finely-drawn espresso, or a deep red wine ”over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore.” In essence:  A partner in the blasphemous crime of ’questioning everything.’  And should we find that we are not in close enough proximity to share together such physical spaces, then the distance that lies between us should not prove a hindrance to the sharing of our experiences.  There’s always the glory of the written word and the dialing of the telephone.  And where it goes from there, only time will tell, because in my heart, I am a deeply romantic and sensual person, and if I’m going to love that way, then I’m going to do it the only way I know how – with the care and attention that it deserves (I know, I know, cue ’vomit’ sound.)  And though I do not desire to have sex be a part of such a sharing, I am committed to discovering myriad ways of expressing such feelings for another – the movement and subsequent expression of mutually attractive energies such that an ever-evolving state of ’love’, that most subjective and abstruse of phenomena, is defined, grown, and nurtured…

    And if you’ve gotten this far, well, just know that this message will self-destruct in 5 seconds…

  • Name





    United States


    Salt Lake City

    I am a


    Looking for a


    Marital status







    Spiritual bu not religious


    Animals and Pets, Art, Business, Cooking / Baking, Gardening, Going out with friends, Health, Fitness, Diet, Listeing to Music, Martial arts, Music, Nature, Reading, Traveling, Watching Movies, Writing

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  • #30884


    ‘Beyond Space & Time’ – Dewey Larson

    ‘Awakening Spirits’ – Tom Brown

    ‘Blood & Its Third Anatomical Element’ – Antoine Bechamp

    ‘The Meaning of Love’ – Vladimir Solovyov

    ‘His Dark Materials’ – Sir Philip Pullman

    …and the translated works of Dr. Bonghan Kim




    I appreciate you sharing your feelings in this way. I’m new to this community, but I have noticed, straight away, that most folks here seem to have really taken the time to take in, absorb, digest, and assimilate all of this, to the point at which they are ‘thinking’ and ‘feeling’ more clearly and with more depth than most others. May not seem like it sometimes, but I think there is truth in this.

    You seem to feel pain and regret from the past relationships that have been lost as a result of your having pushed people away, and your failure to speak about the nature of the struggles in your internal world. Perhaps it’s that you were not in a place to really express what needed to be expressed at those particular points in time. Growth does tend to be a painful process, and while it’s happening, it does seem as though external expression of internal struggles is a very difficult process. And the ‘trust’ issue that you raise here is a HUGE one. Not enough space in this one reply to really cover it, but yes, truly trusting people is a big deal, particularly in our day and age, when most, if not all of us, tend to go around wearing masks. Being ‘real’ with someone takes time, commitment, and patience, and we must be honest with ourselves in asking, when exploring a relationship (w/ a friend, family member, or romantic partner), “What truly is the nature of this relationship, and how much can I share with this person?” With a few select folks, we can go deep, and that’s when truly profound levels of understanding can be reached.

    In the vast majority of relationships that I have witnessed, folks really do seem to get completely caught up in the ‘feeling’ aspect of things (what we as humans experience as ’emotion’). Lot’s of infatuation and projection happening. Codependency inevitably follows, and it’s only later on in the process that the mind, i.e. one’s source of intelligence, catches up with the speeding train of emotion (compounded when sex is introduced). When folks actually step back and start ‘thinking’ about things, well, that’s when the red flags get raised. A sense of betrayal sets in, and profound sadness and anger are its byproducts. This happens at all stages of a relationship, and becomes most distressful and complicated when children have already become a part of the progression of the relationship.

    “Tinder does not work and I chicken out every single time. The fact that I am a workaholic does not help either.”

    None of those sites really apply to folks whose vantage point has shifted to that of the exploration of the type of companionship that is sought by those who classify as ‘asexual’ – and there appear to be many different gradations of this, which is not a surprise, as this abstruse concept called ‘love’ is a very subjective experience. And in terms of being a workaholic – feel ya there. I do tend to bury myself in study to avoid facing certain aspects of myself. And it’s an interesting conundrum, the thought of being in a committed relationship when work, study, and a constant desire for self-improvement are motivating factors. Just like any relationship that strives for depth, I believe that it comes down to a daily effort, running the course of weeks, months, years, lifetime. Whenever you’re ‘in it’, for a lifetime, it’s not going to be easy. ‘Compromise’ is inevitable, but self-fulfillment and personal growth are also of paramount importance.

    “I still hope that I can find my soulmate but the chance is so slim I can’t see it even though I have my glasses on.”

    I understand that you are trying to be serious here, but I couldn’t help but smile. I WANT to reply by saying, “then look with your mind and your feelings, as well as with your eyes,” but that would be getting into the ‘barf zone’ of relationship talk 🙂



    “With all the spiders, sharks and kangaroos?”

    Oh come on, who wouldn’t want to cuddle up next to one of these?

    I suppose that this off-sets it, though:




    Wow, and here I was thinking that I was pretty much a lone wolf in terms of the nature of the feelings that I possess. Had no idea that this was a ‘thing’. Glad to have come across this community. Seems as though there is a great deal to explore here…

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