@bdm66 active 2 days, 8 hours ago


Looking for
About me
  • About me

    I can’t believe how long it has taken me to get to writing this section…Perhaps because I continue to learn about who I am and what I want every day. Just when I think I understand myself some big realization comes and shakes everything back up again. Anyway, I’m just a guy with a wild imagination and a big heart who is hopelessly in love with nature. My dream for the last decade has been to buy a plot of land on the Big Island of Hawaii, build a tiny, sustainable cottage and start a magnificent garden (think little farm) that will provide nearly everything I eat. I am fortunate to say that I am very close to making this happen, and I plan to begin my Hawaiian adventure within the next year. I envision running and hiking around the island every day, swimming in the ocean among the schools of fish and graceful turtles, discovering volcanic pools high up in the hills to jump into, exploring every farmers market the isle has to offer, etc. Essentially, I want to connect as deeply with nature as humanly possible. Admiring and adoring this marvelous world and all its spectacular flora and fauna is the single most soul-sustaining activity of which I know, at least for me personally.


    Unsurprisingly, therefore, I am fiercely passionate about protecting Mother Earth. I am a long-time and devoted vegan and although I do not believe in judging others I do incessantly encourage my fellow hominids to look past the artificial barriers to connection that have been erected between the human species and the rest of the animal kingdom.


    I’m a chronic overthinker as well as a man who feels things very deeply. As a result I value intellectual and emotional connection over any other types. I think I’ve known that I was asexual since before I ever actually heard the term. Nevertheless I refused to accept my asexuality until about a year ago because I, like many who have grown up in our modern hyper-sexualized world, did not think I would ever find happiness or fulfillment if sex wasn’t a part of my life. It took until last year for me to step back and ask myself, ”Is sex something I actually want or something I’m forcing myself to want in order to conform with prevalent dating/relationship norms?” When I experienced that moment of clarity I finally embraced my unique asexual hardwiring and the resulting liberation has been life-changing.

    When it comes to my romantic tendencies…Well to be honest I’m just not sure. I’ve never been in love, not even close. I’ve forced myself into so many short, ill-fated relationships and often ended up hurting the other person, much to my own chagrin, simply because I could never feel the way they felt. Maybe I just haven’t met the right person or maybe I’m aromantic; I truly do not know. I have never felt anything remotely resembling butterflies or fireworks in real life but, interestingly enough, I have experienced such feelings in my dreams (like my literal dreams when I am sleeping at night). Ergo, the jury is still out about whether or not I can feel those things in real life.


    *Random side note: I tend to have rather intense and crazy dreams quite frequently and it is one of the things about my weird brain that I love the most…It’s the only reason I want to go to sleep most days. I’ve often felt happier and more at home among my wild dreamscapes than in the real world. Perhaps you know the feeling?

    As you might have noticed from reading this near novel-length entry, I also love to write. I’m actually about 35,000 words into writing my first book and I can honestly say that being an author would be the dream job for me. I have little to no interest in a conventional career path and I am doing everything within my human power to ensure that I never have a 9-5/office job ever again. I was a teacher for a few years and although I loved my students dearly and respected the hell out of my fellow educators the constraints of a teaching schedule coupled with the frustrating confines of America’s bureaucratic educational system nearly drove me mad! I’m most assuredly a free spirit and I am constantly craving and pursuing still more freedom.


    Well if you made it this far I sincerely congratulate you. I don’t know what I am looking for…I highly value my privacy and alone time, hence my dream of a secluded island garden retreat. However, I also long for connection with a very small number of people. I believe everyone is unique, worthy, special and beautiful and I enjoy connecting with pretty much anybody. That being said there are only a handful of people with whom I share a bond that is powerful enough to compel me to maintain connection/communication. I have the best best friend in the world and a family that makes me feel blessed every day. Will I add a romantic partner to my tight-knit inner circle one day? Is there someone out there who also wants to wake up in an island cottage, work the land, admire all the plants, love all the animals, hike a volcano, twirl underwater above a coral reef, lie in the sunshine on the grass, dance in the tropical rain, explore what it means to be alive…with me? Only time will tell.

    For now, thanks for reading. You’re awesome, whoever you are, and I’m grateful for you 🙂 If you’re interested in learning more (because I’m probably interested in learning more about you!), please feel free to email me at If you could include a link to your profile on here that would be most helpful! I hardly use social media so sorry but I won’t be finding you on instagram even if you are kind enough to share your info. I do use Facebook though (more as a source of news than for social purposes) so please feel free to send me a friend request on there!


    * I write, speak and read English and español and I am about three months into learning français.

  • Name





    United States


    Santa Cruz, CA

    I am a


    Looking for a


    Marital status







    Spiritual bu not religious


    Animals and Pets, Cooking / Baking, Gardening, Health, Fitness, Diet, Listeing to Music, Nature, Reading, Watching Movies, Writing, Yoga, Meditation

Member's groups

Group logo of Vegan/Vegetarian Aces
Vegan/Vegetarian Aces

active 1 week, 1 day ago

Vegans and vegetarians alike welcome! Doesn’t matter if you’re a semi-veghead or thinking about turning into one! =D

Public Group / 764 members

Meet asexuals is the first community and dating site for Asexual people. When major dating sites don't recognize our asexuality, we think that asexual people should have a place to meet and talk. Create your profile to search and meet other aexuals, or build a platonic relationship.

Join the Asexual community and receive our e-mail newsletter


Go up