Wanda

@wandaspets active 6 days, 22 hours ago

 

About me

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
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  • #31615

    Wanda
    Participant

    Hello Trevor. I’m Wanda. I’m 61. When I was younger than you I heard the word asexual, didn’t know what it meant so out came the dictionary. There were no computers then. After reading the definition I realized that was me. I couldn’t accept that because it made me weird, out of the norm. With every relationship I tried to be normal and of course it didn’t work. I tried sex therapy, hormone treatments, even a lesbian relationship. Nothing worked. 5 years ago I decided to just be me, a bisexual asexual and I started telling friends and family. I just joined a dating website and stated that I’m asexual and what it means. In other words I’m out there. My best advice as a much older person is just be you. Be open with the young lady right away before your emotions get involved. And keep trying. There is someone out there for you.

    #31586

    Wanda
    Participant

    It’s a relief to finally figure it out. At least it was for me. Now you don’t have to pretend you’re something you’re not.

    #31561

    Wanda
    Participant

    I first heard the term asexual about 40 years ago. Me being me, I had to look up the word. And I wondered, ‘Is this me?’. I didn’t want to be like that. I wanted to be like everyone else. When my marriage ended in 1982 I remember thinking that now I would find out what sex was. I had a few long term relationships and I still didn’t get it. So I thought maybe I was bisexual because I liked looking at women too. So I met a woman and we were together for several years. I still hadn’t figured it out. We broke up. I started googling asexuality and found this site. I had finally figured out that I was asexual when I came here. This site was a confirmation of that. I am bisexual too. I am not silent about who I am. If anyone wants to stop me in the street and question me about it I will talk to them. Asexuals have been quiet far too long. There have been gay bars for decades and yet there is no place for us to meet. It is a shame. There could be someone near me who is sitting all alone crying because they have no one and I could be just around the corner. Don’t be embarrassed by who you are. Be proud and embrace it. If you’re young, just know that you too will get old. Do you want to live your life like I did, chasing the dream of being sexual? It’s not the price. Be true to yourself. That’s always the best way.

    #31535

    Wanda
    Participant

    Emma, just go with what feels right for you. Pay attention to the way you feel and you can’t go wrong. Trying to live the way others expect you to live will make you very unhappy and resentful. It’s unlikely any relationship will work out if you try to be like others. I’m 61.I know where it goes when you’re untruthful to yourself. You don’t want to go there.

    #31370

    Wanda
    Participant

    I don’t know Reddit, although I’ve heard of it.
    I’ve asked the people who run this site to list the members,their ages and towns so that we can connect to those near us. The list is voluntary of course. I hope they do it. I’m tired of 20 something’s trying to friend me. I want to meet people, either men or women, my age and living somewhat near me. I still hope.

    #31365

    Wanda
    Participant

    We’re here. It’s hard to find us though.

    #31345

    Wanda
    Participant

    There’s lots of us. It’s finding someone that’s so hard. Decades ago gays had hangout bars they could go to in order to find people like themselves. We have nowhere to go except these sites, and they don’t work very well. You have to slog through hundreds of faces to find someone you like, only to find out they live in England, or Sweden, or the United States, or something. It doesn’t do you much good.

    #31344

    Wanda
    Participant

    To the higher ups that be, who actually run this site, is there any way you can compile or start a list of members with names, ages, towns/countries they live in, so that we can find someone close to us? Putting your info on the list would be voluntary, and no additional information should be allowed. Just a plain, simple list. That way if you see someone nearby you can reach out to them.

    #31343

    Wanda
    Participant

    There are quite a few of us over 45. I’m 61. The problem is finding someone in your area, especially if you live far from the big cities. The closest city is two hours away from me, and small communities aren’t very open about anyone who is not heterosexual. I’m open about who I am and no one’s come talking.

    #31279

    Wanda
    Participant

    It’s so hard to find an asexual person. What do you do, go on a date, tell the person you really like them but don’t want sex? That’ll go over like a lead balloon. I don’t hide the way I am any more and I still can’t find a partner. They need to add the letter A to the LGBTQ thing. We’re the last group that receives no recognition. It’s time to come out of the closet. Be proud of who you are. Let people know about you.

    #30583

    Wanda
    Participant

    There are lots of us. The problem is finding someone close to where you live. We should be able to search by geography.

    #30497

    Wanda
    Participant

    Hi Caroline. Lots of us want what you do. A companion, someone to hold hands with, cuddle on the beach. A lot of us are out there. Connecting with them is much more difficult. Keep trying. You’ll find someone.

    #30489

    Wanda
    Participant

    I think there’s lots of us who would like a serious relationship. But what do you do? Go on a date and say, “by the way, I really like you, but I don’t want to have sex with you”. That’s a bombshell that will blow up. I’m not ashamed of who and what I am. Finding someone who can accept it is the hard part.

    #30450

    Wanda
    Participant

    Yes there is. I’m going to be 60 in September. Anyone near the Bruce Peninsula, Southampton, Ontario, Canada?

    #30449

    Wanda
    Participant

    Hi. I’m new to this site. I had no idea it was here. Yes, there are those of us who are looking for life long companions. I have a happy life. I’d like to share it with a special someone. I’m bisexual and I don’t hide it. Just because a person is asexual doesn’t mean they don’t want to be loved.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
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