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I’m new here, kinda upset I had to pay 19 bucks just to message people and see nobody in my state which drowned any confidence I had at a 20 dollars well spent but nonetheless I paid it so I could talk to somebody, anybody like me. I feel like I wasted my money big time. Im extremely lonley and usually bail out when I make profiles because I hate talk about sex and thats all you get on dating sites, those sites and people disgust me, I’d rather sit on the couch together all day and watch movies n cartoons, eat n play games. I’m romantic and very loving. I hate my life, and I’m tired of being sad and alone and frankly feel it will be this way forever since I’m 26 now and have never met another person like me, not one hug, not one date, just pain. it would be cool to love allot of the same stuff too. I’m kinda poor and live with family because stupid COVID 19 has made it impossible to find a place to live, also I’m disabled not like in a wheelchair kinda way but I’ll tell you more about it later, I’m clean now except for occasional pot smokin and a beer every so often…i dont work I’m on disability i hope that’s not a issue because i dont need money or anything I have my own money, I’m just sick of being alone iv never been on a date iv never had a gay friend before so I’m at a complete loss so far (in the romantic aspect of my life anyway) and now I’m 26 so im very depressed this has been going on my whole life. iv always known I liked guys since I was a young child, and it was miserable seeing them go after girls and I just wanted to be there friend and always got rejected. Miserable childhood basically and now I’m a miserable adult still hiding and never talking to nobody about it, mainly because I want a sexless relationship and these sickos out here are well sickos….I feel like counciling is a waste of time never tried it never will because I’m perfectly fine.. I’m just lonley and ain’t no counciling or social group gonna change that, I deserve and need s best friend….i had ADHD as a child and ADD, bipolarism you name it I had to take special ED did no good for my grades i had c’s and d’s and got rejected by everyone in school except a very small group of outcasts like myself which helped me get through it, thank God for them. My sanctuary was going home to my room and watching cartoons and play video games that was my escape. The bullying and social anxiety became so hard for me that when I graduated from Jr high I decided high school was not for me and would be a disaster so I decided to home school, and for the most part I tried hard to understand the Material but even in school with tutors during and after school gave no results, and I was home alone all day because my parents divorced and my mom took my little sister so it was only me alone in the house all day teaching myself, and basically I googled all the answers to get my diploma and be done with school and people for good, all the special ed and after school help and private tutors did nothing for my grades and I couldn’t comprehend anything and for the most part I did try and failed. I do love art, I like to make rap beats on my computer… music is my soul not a minute goes by in a day where I ain’t making a beat in my head, I love video games and movies, I identify as asexual obviously hence the website which iv learned is not wanting to have sex ever, that’s me and Any guy I have ever tried to talk to on apps (which is not very often) has been against my ideas and eventually says he wants sex and it disgusts me….like aids alert no thanks and that sounds very unpleasant for two men to do that anyway and sinful so no thanks….a real relationship in my mind is one one on the couch spending quality time together and being at peace, I’m romantic I dont desire to be seen naked or to see somebody else naked unless I just took off my shirt, that’s cool I suppose but like I just like wanna sit on the couch together arms around my pal his around me and just be happy you know, that’s heaven to me, but I also really hate myself for liking guys and I kinda have always hated God and religion, for being born without a choice, because who would choose a lonley life, I will say that I’m proud to be different though because a majority of the world are all just sex slaves and argumentative people and I want no part of that. Pretty much all the research and family, or friends iv reached out to for advice have always told me that I’ll never find somebody that I’m living in a fantasy, and I’m sick of hearing it because I think they are the ones living the fantasty, at least if I ever meet somone it will be because they truly love me and not because they want to use me, to me asexual people are the most romantic beautiful spirits on this earth because we actually care about eachother we want nothing but pure innocent romance, and though my depression may always be here on proud to be who I am and know that nobody has any power over me. Message me if you wanna talk, I’m just chillen I’ll eventually write ya back cuz I’m a cool guy like that 😉
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