Is it correct for a Gay to dream of marrying an asexual?

[VamshiKumar]

It obviously sounds crazy from the perspective of an asexual. But what if the Gay person is looking for full platonic love and vows to be faithful by not having any affairs with others and respecting marriage, lovingly living in the marriage?

• This topic was modified 9 years, 11 months ago by VamshiKumar.

[Anonymous]

I thinks it depends on the sex drive, that’s the root of the issue. Everyone is always saying about platonic love, but sexual desire appears sooner or later in case thay person wants. However, there’s also the importance s/he gives to that factor.

[Gillian]

I want to say that in very few cases there are correct/incorrect answers when speaking about sexuality. More often we find our selves in between or coming to the conclusion there is no definite answer.

I can understand a person searching for platonic relationships and turning to the asexual community. This makes sense, but I can’t help but feel wary. Similar to what Adrian said there is always the chance a sexual person may change their mind and want more than you are willing to give.

In the end, I don’t much care to pass judgment on whether someones dreams are correct.

[Raell5]

If gay people want asexual relationships but think they might change their minds later on, demisexual types seem perfect. But if they even consider asexual partners, perhaps they are asexual themselves, but in denial.

[VamshiKumar]

Thanks for the answers! Each one of you is correct in your own way.

Gay being asexual – could be the reason.
So I see that there is always a threat of sexual people to change their minds which may not be a good choice for asexuals. But what if the gay is sexually impotent or not so active. Would an asexual person want to be in relationship with such a person.

Just being anxious

[Raell5]

Speaking for myself, of course an asexual would like to be with a gay asexual provided the asexual was panromantic. I’m transmale, panromantic, demisexual, gray asexual, and gender fluid. Concerns with having to be physical with some random romantic interest keeps me from the normal dating world, although I used to grit my teeth and tolerate it in the past. In this forum, people seem to lack the motivation even to respond to posts, however, unless there are many private messages taking place. Perhaps it takes people with stronger sex drives to successfully pursue relationships. I have a very aggressive pursuit instinct in my male mode, but without sexual attraction, so I know it’s possible.

[VamshiKumar]

Well said! But Not many are so aware of themselves as you are Raell; or perhaps they are in denial of themselves.

And as far as coming out atleast in this virtual world is concerned, yes many are not opening up or even responding to the posts.

[Raell5]

Sexual attraction is when someone involuntarily feels lust for someone/something. The person imagines and longs to possibly kiss, touch, fondle, or engage in some form of physical intercourse/interaction, including voyeurism, to satisfy those urges.
In my case, I can be suddenly seized with desire for any gender or gender variant but never think of anything past kissing.

The moment I start to imagine any physical interaction my same-sex gender mode reacts in revulsion and all desire instantly shuts down. As a demisexual it takes a VERY long relationship before I feel sexual attraction, even though, as a panromantic, I can fall in platonic love with anything.

[Raell5]

Perhaps for others it is different, but for me being “panromantic” includes a sort of energy bonding, being as one, similar to Buddhist beliefs. When outside, I bond with the energy around me, animals, trees, landscape. People who have taken “magic mushrooms” or LSD describe the same sensation..that everything is really one, as quantum mechanics also confirms.

I think Robert A. Heinlein described it best in his book Stranger in a Strange Land when Michael Smith (raised on Mars by Martians) called being one with someone or someplace “grokking” and God as “one who groks.”
His Martian concept of life in the phrase “Thou art God” also describes it well.

I seem to feel the energy around me and love it, feel as one. When I rode my horses I didn’t use saddles or bridles, just thought what I wanted and the horses responded as I thought it, even when driving them to a cart (I left the driving lines loose).
Wild animals even come to me for help.

My neighbors would ask me what was wrong with their animals and I’d ask the animals in my imagination and get answers for the owners.

I don’t seem to get along as well with people as with animals, though, although once I allow myself access to someone’s thoughts I tend to sympathize with them afterward and no longer resent them. But I also feel like it’s a violation of their privacy and seldom do it.

My daughter uses the same method to find out which horse to bet on when she’s at the racetrack by mentally asking the horses which one is the fastest and wants to win the most. I’m different.
When betting, I go with the jockey since the best ones communicate with their horses and inspire them to win.

[Raell5]

Hmm..different descriptions and names for the same thing. For Cherokees, I’m a “two spirit” and would be trained as a tribe shaman. As for energy, you might try reading about quantum mechanics. I haven’t even scratched the things I can do, as well as my sisters and daughter. Just described a few that most people seem able to accept. But whatever, “panromantic” is a label that could cover all of that as well, since energy is love and love is energy and everything is one and one is all. But use whatever labels you wish. It all has nothing to do with sexual attraction.

[Raell5]

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