How do you tell your friends and romantic partners that you're Ace?

[Amber CrankshawParticipant]

Hey everyone! I’m new to the site, so a hello from me ^_^

I don’t know why, but I personally feel like it’s kind of tiresome even thinking of telling people what my sexuality is. I was that person that thought she was “broken” or whatnot and now that I can put a name on my feelings, I don’t know how to tell people. I told one person I was asexual and they thought I was able to asexually reproduce (like a plant ._.). And even when I talk to people in regards to asexuality, they look at me like I’m crazy. I have one friend (he’s bisexual) and I wanted so badly to tell him I was Ace (the first person I could come out to at work), but I panicked and just didn’t. And thinking about telling a guy (romantic interest) that I don’t want to be sexual scares the crap out of me >_>. All I want to do is watch anime and play video games with him lol.

Any tips or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated! Thank you ^-^

[Derek LeaderParticipant]

There’s a lot of discussion on how to come out as asexual, and being misunderstood is common. Some people are good at subtly educating an interest first, which is really effective. I know some people have started by asking “Do you think the Doctor is asexual or is he attracted to his companions?” That avoids some very negative reactions as well.

I’m a blunt person, so I usually avoid the word “asexual.” I just say I’m not interested in men or women. Some people get it and some people think I’m joking. Of course, that doesn’t do much for people I might have romantic interest for. Luckily, I never meet anyone or do anything but work, so it’s not a problem. It’s a simple life.

I don’t have much advice, you may just need to find something that works for you. Sorry. It’s hard for all of us.

[VeeeParticipant]

Some secrets are best kept to ourselves…I’d tell a prospective partner but not the rest of the world!

[Vanessa the foxParticipant]

i’m just straightforward

[Amber CrankshawParticipant]

Thank you all for your thoughts and opinions, I greatly appreciate it 🙂

[NitrogenParticipant]

I haven’t told anyone, and I don’t think there’s a reason to outside of potential partners. If I’m ever with another asexual (hasn’t happened yet, but speaking in vainly-hoped-for hypotheticals), our sex life or lack thereof is absolutely no one else’s business.

[NicoleParticipant]

I’ve “come out” to family and very close friends before. I usually ask the person to be in a non-judgmental place and open their mind to begin with. Once they are ready, I explain that humans exist on a wide variety of spectrums (political, biological, intellectual, etc). Then I explain that sexuality is one of these many spectrums and describe it. Aces fall on one end of the spectrum, but even within that piece there is still a spectrum of people, which I then describe.

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