Reply To: Coming Out? (I really need your help!)

[Raell5]

Since abstinence is expected in the religious world I don’t see why you would have to tell anyone. As for having a same sex-partner, if you find someone who is also asexual, then you’d just look like “girl friends” anyway, so no explaining. But of course people trying to set you up can be annoying..one main reason I moved to Thailand. I didn’t know the way I am was a “thing.”

You could do what I do-just nod and smile. Since I’m partially transmale, if any male comes around I jump at the chance to have a dance, hiking, or extreme birding partner before the confused male realizes I’m not acting like a typical female and wanders off. I can only string them along for so long before they start insisting on some sexual reward (EEEEEEW!!). It’s easy to start a fight then and “break up” with them. But that’s probably not what anyone else would do.

But if you feel better telling people, then go for it. You can’t be worried about the opinions of others forever. But if you are still in college, maybe you would have a smoother ride if you kept things unexplained.

I think it’s just in the USA that people question others about dating or marriage status or act like single people need to be “fixed,” since it has NEVER happened to me while abroad. In fact, being single is the “norm” here in Thailand, and among the European, South African, and Australian expat teachers. The only lusty man-chasers I’ve seen have been Americans. But NOBODY has questioned my partner status or sexual orientation. I don’t even know what mine is, since nobody attracts me. I seem to be panromantic, though.